X'Mas is over... 5 days before 2007 is over. Can't believe another year flew by me like tat. Recap of 2007 major events for me:
- My seniors sudden resignation - 3 Seniors that I highly respect, suddenly resigned from my company.
- Dalian, China - First overseas assignment. Also my first do or die mission.
- Perth, Australia - 2007 Company trip. First time I flew so to a country outside Asia. Memorable experience that I will cherish my whole life.
- First juniors under me - Started to take on juniors under my wings. Can't say I did a very good job guiding them. Fell kinda sorry for my juniors coz they been assigned under me.
- First motivational camp - "Enlighten Your Life". Honestly, I didn't feel enlighten at all after this motivational camp.
- My first guitar - Influenced by C.S to pick up the guitar. F*ck! I wannabe a MFR!
- Langkawi, Malaysia - 3 Monks, 1 f*cked up motel room, 1 lameass trip... Enuff said.
- Gather enuff guts to finally resign - Ironicly, quiting was my greatest achievement this year... My tolerance threshold was finally breached, so I decided to throw the towel and tap out.
Tis is one of the most stupid piece of reply I often get whenever ppl ask me "What is my religion, and I say I dun have one". I can still remember my form 6 teacher casually asking me infront of my class why I left out my religion field in an application form and I told her I didn't have any religion so I left it blank. The sudden response I got shock me. Well, it wasn't the response from the teacher that shock me, rather it was the response from my fellow classmates. They looked as if I just revealed myself as an alien from Mars. WTF!? U all are rocket scientists that were smart enuff to score straights A's to get into Form 6, wtf so strange bout someone who dun have a religion? The response from my teacher was expected, berating me for my lack of religious believes... "Dalam Rukun Negara ada Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan" Oh sori, I stopped swearing the Rukun Negara vow since I realize wat it meant, was wat I wanted to fired back at her. But I kept my composure, she insisted I fill that religion field. I ask her to simply fill it for me. My guess, she filled Buddhist to that field for me.
Lets make something clear, while I dun consider myself to have a religion but I believe in God. Heck, I even pray to him sometimes. My point here is if no religion then no believe in God izt? WTF is a religion anyway? To me religion is merely a set of norms and belief for a bunch of ppl. Norms and belief made my human themselves...
So, lets say I believe in the God "Buddha", but I dun practice of give shit bout the norms and other belief of "Buddhists", where does tat put me? I recall my old high school Buddhist fren warned me "Oh, ur a free thinker... After death you will not go to heaven or hell... You will just dissapeared." Ok, great... I seen tons of ppl who pray to God and do those ceremony things to show their sincerely to God. But on their normal life, they do things that harms other. These ppl disgust me the most. They fear God may punish them for their deeds, but continue to do them.
Whenever I heard any crap bout Holy War, Jihad, etc that involves a declaration of war due to religion, I knew that garbage... Wat the f*ck is so f*ckin wrong with u ppl? It's f*ckin obvious ur all believe/pray/worship in the same god. He/She only goes by a different f*ckin name to all of u. Some of u call him "Allah", others "Gods", some others "Buddha", etc. Do u all need to declare a war, shed blood, kill thousands of innocent ppl for the sake of who got god's name correct? Pls la, if you wan to war becoz of resource, money, power, greed... Atleast pls keep God's name outta you propaganda.
Lets make something clear, while I dun consider myself to have a religion but I believe in God. Heck, I even pray to him sometimes. My point here is if no religion then no believe in God izt? WTF is a religion anyway? To me religion is merely a set of norms and belief for a bunch of ppl. Norms and belief made my human themselves...
So, lets say I believe in the God "Buddha", but I dun practice of give shit bout the norms and other belief of "Buddhists", where does tat put me? I recall my old high school Buddhist fren warned me "Oh, ur a free thinker... After death you will not go to heaven or hell... You will just dissapeared." Ok, great... I seen tons of ppl who pray to God and do those ceremony things to show their sincerely to God. But on their normal life, they do things that harms other. These ppl disgust me the most. They fear God may punish them for their deeds, but continue to do them.
Whenever I heard any crap bout Holy War, Jihad, etc that involves a declaration of war due to religion, I knew that garbage... Wat the f*ck is so f*ckin wrong with u ppl? It's f*ckin obvious ur all believe/pray/worship in the same god. He/She only goes by a different f*ckin name to all of u. Some of u call him "Allah", others "Gods", some others "Buddha", etc. Do u all need to declare a war, shed blood, kill thousands of innocent ppl for the sake of who got god's name correct? Pls la, if you wan to war becoz of resource, money, power, greed... Atleast pls keep God's name outta you propaganda.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
There's nothing you can know that can't be known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
No where you can be, that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
(x4)
Love is all you need (repeated)
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
One of the many great songs featured in the movie, Across The Universe. Okay, Lets clear some dust first. Across The Universe is a musical, meaning like those Hindi movies, someone would suddenly burst out singing and dancing their way through some part of the movie (Okay, for most part of the movie). Having said that, I highly recommend tis movie to anyone who don't have problem with the fact above.
While the movie generally resolves around a group of colorful individuals around the era of Vietnam War, Radical Groups and Hippies, The main plot however tend to focus on Jude and Lucy, two lovers deeply in love with each other and their struggle to make sense of things within an era of chaos, or izt more appropriate within life itself. Having said that, the movie does make me ponder upon the question "Is all you need is love?"
Call me a nutcase but I was always a firm believer of fatelism. Everything will happen at it's own proper time. Joy, Sorrow, Success, Failure, Life, Death... Everything has it's time... and perhaps reason...
Well, I'm currently on a "Vision Quest"... Meaning I quit my job to fasted, meditated, analyzed, prayed 24/7 on fatelism. What is my purpose in this world? Where do I go from here? Okay, okay that's all just barn crud except for the part on me quiting my job...
Well, upon reflecting on an particular incident, I discovered...
"Your entire life can turn upside down in an instances..."
It's surprising how easy it is for us to forget how fragile our life is. All it takes is one small knock at one piece of domino to set the rest of tumbling down and all it takes is one small event to turn upside down our entire life... Our confidences, pride, believes, achievements... They all come crumbling into thousands of pieces when the tides of fate coming crashing at our door.
Imagine one idiot starting a nuclear war, all it takes is just a press of a button to trigger it... Our daily life, our current financial stability, our academic background, our dream future... Where will it all go once that happens?
Having said how fragile our life is, how should we proceed on living it then? A couple of solutions are "Hey, that ain't never gonna happen to me, so why bother bout it", "I already planned my whole life, even if there's a nuclear war, I already have a plan", "Whatever happens, happens. Just got to adapt to it".
I see myself more as the "Whatever happens, happens. Just got to adapt to it" type thanks to the current state of apathy that I'm in.
Well, I'm currently on a "Vision Quest"... Meaning I quit my job to fasted, meditated, analyzed, prayed 24/7 on fatelism. What is my purpose in this world? Where do I go from here? Okay, okay that's all just barn crud except for the part on me quiting my job...
Well, upon reflecting on an particular incident, I discovered...
It's surprising how easy it is for us to forget how fragile our life is. All it takes is one small knock at one piece of domino to set the rest of tumbling down and all it takes is one small event to turn upside down our entire life... Our confidences, pride, believes, achievements... They all come crumbling into thousands of pieces when the tides of fate coming crashing at our door.
Imagine one idiot starting a nuclear war, all it takes is just a press of a button to trigger it... Our daily life, our current financial stability, our academic background, our dream future... Where will it all go once that happens?
Having said how fragile our life is, how should we proceed on living it then? A couple of solutions are "Hey, that ain't never gonna happen to me, so why bother bout it", "I already planned my whole life, even if there's a nuclear war, I already have a plan", "Whatever happens, happens. Just got to adapt to it".
I see myself more as the "Whatever happens, happens. Just got to adapt to it" type thanks to the current state of apathy that I'm in.
Leaving on a jet plane - Chantal Kreviazuk
I'm... I'm...
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
I'm...
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say...
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
But I'm leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane [X8]
This song sorta convey my mood during my few last days here in Syscatech... Already feel a heavy feeling of leaving my work collegues that have been with me within these 2 years... ~Leaving on a jet plane...
Wow, Amusing...
Even though the countdown timer still have 13 days left but a brief deduction from weekends, Deepavali holiday and leave taken, I actually got only 7 days left at Syscatech. Yipee!
7 Days = 56 hours = 3,360 mins = 201,600 secs
(Note: Ya, I know 1 day = 24 hours, but I counting working hours)
Even though the countdown timer still have 13 days left but a brief deduction from weekends, Deepavali holiday and leave taken, I actually got only 7 days left at Syscatech. Yipee!
7 Days = 56 hours = 3,360 mins = 201,600 secs
(Note: Ya, I know 1 day = 24 hours, but I counting working hours)
Yupe, that's wat my company call the 2 days 1 nite course at Port Dickson last Sun and Monday as. I'm feeling down as I would be leaving my company in another 16 days, I already can forsee myself missing some of my collegues but tat's life. Every hello has a goodbye.
I dun feel like bloggin about the course itself but as for entertainment at P.Dickson, I had hell of a good time there despite having to pull an OT job on Sunday nite. I jetski, had a go at the banana boat, eaten till my belly is full but most importantly, I had a great time with my collegues as this is probably the last time I would be spending with this batch of collegues as a co-workers.
I dun feel like bloggin about the course itself but as for entertainment at P.Dickson, I had hell of a good time there despite having to pull an OT job on Sunday nite. I jetski, had a go at the banana boat, eaten till my belly is full but most importantly, I had a great time with my collegues as this is probably the last time I would be spending with this batch of collegues as a co-workers.
Well, there's still 26 more f*ckin days before "De day". I decided upon reflecting the 2 years I had spent here, to compile a list of wat I'm goin to miss and wat I'm not goin to miss upon my departure from this company...
Would Miss:
Would Miss:
- My dear collegues that together with me voyage on the greatest odyssey as human slaves (aka Capitalism) for these 2 years
- Start work at 10.30 am
- Cheras food (Connaught Pan Mee, Yulek Chee Cheung Fan + Wantan Mee, Midah Dumpling Mee, Cheras Flats Fishhead, etc)
- After work hours activities (Dota and Dinner)
- CNY Company Dinner + Gambling
- My current project + client
- The juniors under my lot. Okay, I admit... I can't guide ppl so sue me
- Go home from work at 8.30 pm
- The taxing 1 hour journey from Klang to Cheras, and vice versa
- Being rob everyday by highwaymans
- 7th Floor Canteen. Speciality: Cockroach rice
- Spotcheck by "Aunty"
Old McRunge had a computer firm
Old McRunge had a computer firm,
C.S, C.S, O
And on his farm he had a chicken,
C.S, C.S, O
With a kok-kok here, a kok-kok there,
Here kok-kok, There kok-kok,
Everywhere kok-kok
Old McRunge had a computer firm,
C.S, C.S, O
Tis is one f*ckin awesome song in tribute to C.S aka MFR aka M*ther F*cker R*cker
Are you ugly?
A liar like me?
A user, a lost soul?
Someone you don’t know
Money it’s no cure
A Sickness so pure
Are you like me?
Are you ugly?
[Chorus]
We are dirt, we are alone
You know we are far from sober!
We are fake, we are afraid
You know it’s far from over
We are dirt we are alone
You know we are far from sober!
Look closer, are you like me?
Are you ugly?
Turn a blind eye
Why do I deny?
Medicate me
So I die Happy
A strain of cancer
Chokes the answer
Are you like me?
A liar like me?
[Chorus]
I don’t care, you don’t care
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
You love you, just like me
I blame you, you blame me
I’m bitter, you’re angry.
You don’t care, I don’t care
You love you, like me
[Chorus]
Are you Ugly? [X3]
Where got tell him!?
If wan cabut,
Tell him
If wan cabut,
Seriously considering SG.
Where got tell him!?
I didn't say that la!
Just this la...
If wan cabut,
Seriously considering SG
Dun make things up!
Ya, Ya, Ya, Ya...
Far, Nee, Nee, Nee, Nee
[Chorus repeat twice]
Lyrics by
aka Chris Ng
I'm writing tis blog entry to remind myself to NEVER get involve with other programmers that have a knack to ignore programming standards. I have myself to blame for not giving my former junior the rap for keep ignoring our programming team standards despite my advice for him to do so. Now I stuck to dealt with this mess in his code. For me, his hard coding of 30 sales item products makes me wonder... For a 2 year experience programmer, have he even considered using a goddamn loop instead of using the "copy and past" approach? Now that the mofo have resigned and I have been assigned to add another row for each sales item. Imagine doing the same work 30 times EVERYTIME I need to modify the damn code. Next time remember "Give the damn f*cker that ignore programming standards the damn rappping!"
Went with the usual suspects... Ooopss... i meant usual monks (Chris, Spellbinder and Ryosuke) to The Curve yesterday to hold a booze fest. The booze fest had a quite disappointing ending but heck, it's the journey itself that counts not the end. I really needed to unwind after working for 3 weeks straight without a proper R&R. Eventually we departed from Klang around noon and reached The Curve around 3pm due to massive jam.
We dine at Ichiban Ramen for lunch, where I enjoyed an "excellent lunch meal" despite onli ordering a cheap Chicken Don + tea, lol. Next we walked ourself to boredom at The Curve, Cineplex and Ikeno Power Center since we were unable secure some movie tickets as the cinema was jam packed with "suah gooh" (including us) that was eager to catch Transformers.
We managed to endure the 4-5 hours and it was 8+ when we decided to make way to the Italianness to dine before we initialize our booze fest. Eventually, reaching the Italianness, we took a table near market street but unfortunately I got a "less strategic" which offers me less view of my intresting surrounding. Taking a look at the menu, I was indeed speechless bout the goddamn price of food. After a brief emergency meeting with the monks, we decided to eat something light and delegate more of our dough at the booze. We ended up ordering a pizza and a bucket of Heikkinen (5 bottles) to start of our booze fest.
By the time we completed demolishing the Rm 30 pizza + 1 beer each, the view from my seat was simple incredible. The full moon, buzzling market streets, dangling streets light on wires, the sound of techno music booming from stereo high-hifis from booze lounge and off course the sheer number of pretty babes surrounding the place... It was a sight to behold. After finishing our 1st bottle of Heikkinen, Ryosuke was pretty much "high", Spellbinder meanwhile pretty much just wants to sleep (Due to lack of sleep, not due to alcohol). I was already started to feel the effect of alcohol at tis point, a slight headache + heighten senses. My earlier unstrategic seat turned into a strategic seat when 3 pretty babes tooks seats that was within my radar field. A short haired babe took seat at my 10'o clock, a long hair babe took seat at my 11'o clock while a pretty beer promoter took position at my 12'o clock. Heck, I even made eye contact with the short hair babe (sitting closest to my seat among the 3 babes) when she probably caught me catching glimpses of her.
Ryosuke and I shared the remaining 1 bottle of beer. We then changed our initial plan to drink booze at the pub that was directly on the 2nd floor above our seats coz the pub looked pretty empty. Since we were out of beer and Chris and I were still "thristy" we signal the waiter to initialize round 2 of our booze fest. Spellbinder and Ryosuke didn't wan to drink anymore booze at this point so I went for a pint of Guiness Stout (coz the damn cup filled with Guiness looks damn c00l) while Chris went for a Martini (inspired by James Bond drinking one in the movie). This is my first time drinking Guiness and I definitely gotta say it tastes better than normal beer. Ryosuke took a sip from my cup and said the definite winning line of the nite, "It tastes like Kopi-O la". I had quite a enjoyable time drinking down my Guiness (while catching glimpses of the 3 babes) but Chris was less fortunate. The Martini Chris ordered didn't quite meet his original expectation and had to force it down his throat. Ryosuke and I took some sips from Chris's Martini, for me it tastes like water. Spellbinder was pretty much in lala land at this point.
It was only around 10-11+ when Chris and I finish our respective drinks. Quite frankly I still wanted to go for another round but decided against it coz I was driving and 2 men were already down. On our journey back, Ryosuke created some tension when he suffered some hiccups in my car. I was definitely worried that he would suddenly vomit in my car at that point but fortunately the trip back to Klang was eventless.
Overall I'm a little dissapointed that we onli had 2 rounds and I didn't even get drunk. But hey, there's always next time... but for now, my wallet is pretty much burned a big hole so it'll be some time before my next booze party.
We dine at Ichiban Ramen for lunch, where I enjoyed an "excellent lunch meal" despite onli ordering a cheap Chicken Don + tea, lol. Next we walked ourself to boredom at The Curve, Cineplex and Ikeno Power Center since we were unable secure some movie tickets as the cinema was jam packed with "suah gooh" (including us) that was eager to catch Transformers.
We managed to endure the 4-5 hours and it was 8+ when we decided to make way to the Italianness to dine before we initialize our booze fest. Eventually, reaching the Italianness, we took a table near market street but unfortunately I got a "less strategic" which offers me less view of my intresting surrounding. Taking a look at the menu, I was indeed speechless bout the goddamn price of food. After a brief emergency meeting with the monks, we decided to eat something light and delegate more of our dough at the booze. We ended up ordering a pizza and a bucket of Heikkinen (5 bottles) to start of our booze fest.
By the time we completed demolishing the Rm 30 pizza + 1 beer each, the view from my seat was simple incredible. The full moon, buzzling market streets, dangling streets light on wires, the sound of techno music booming from stereo high-hifis from booze lounge and off course the sheer number of pretty babes surrounding the place... It was a sight to behold. After finishing our 1st bottle of Heikkinen, Ryosuke was pretty much "high", Spellbinder meanwhile pretty much just wants to sleep (Due to lack of sleep, not due to alcohol). I was already started to feel the effect of alcohol at tis point, a slight headache + heighten senses. My earlier unstrategic seat turned into a strategic seat when 3 pretty babes tooks seats that was within my radar field. A short haired babe took seat at my 10'o clock, a long hair babe took seat at my 11'o clock while a pretty beer promoter took position at my 12'o clock. Heck, I even made eye contact with the short hair babe (sitting closest to my seat among the 3 babes) when she probably caught me catching glimpses of her.
Ryosuke and I shared the remaining 1 bottle of beer. We then changed our initial plan to drink booze at the pub that was directly on the 2nd floor above our seats coz the pub looked pretty empty. Since we were out of beer and Chris and I were still "thristy" we signal the waiter to initialize round 2 of our booze fest. Spellbinder and Ryosuke didn't wan to drink anymore booze at this point so I went for a pint of Guiness Stout (coz the damn cup filled with Guiness looks damn c00l) while Chris went for a Martini (inspired by James Bond drinking one in the movie). This is my first time drinking Guiness and I definitely gotta say it tastes better than normal beer. Ryosuke took a sip from my cup and said the definite winning line of the nite, "It tastes like Kopi-O la". I had quite a enjoyable time drinking down my Guiness (while catching glimpses of the 3 babes) but Chris was less fortunate. The Martini Chris ordered didn't quite meet his original expectation and had to force it down his throat. Ryosuke and I took some sips from Chris's Martini, for me it tastes like water. Spellbinder was pretty much in lala land at this point.
It was only around 10-11+ when Chris and I finish our respective drinks. Quite frankly I still wanted to go for another round but decided against it coz I was driving and 2 men were already down. On our journey back, Ryosuke created some tension when he suffered some hiccups in my car. I was definitely worried that he would suddenly vomit in my car at that point but fortunately the trip back to Klang was eventless.
Overall I'm a little dissapointed that we onli had 2 rounds and I didn't even get drunk. But hey, there's always next time... but for now, my wallet is pretty much burned a big hole so it'll be some time before my next booze party.
Driftwood - Travis
Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to oceans
Oceans tide you home
Home is where the heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
Nobody is an island
Everyone had to go
Pillars turn to butter
Butterflying low
Low is where your heart is
But your heart has to grow
Drifting under bridges
Never with the flow
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
Everywhere there's trouble
Nowhere's safe to go
Pushes turn to shovels
Shovelling the snow
Frozen you have chosen
The path you wish to go
Drifting now forever
And forever more
Until you reach your shore
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
You've been drifting, for a long, long
Drifting for a long, long time
Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to oceans
Oceans tide you home
Home is where the heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
Nobody is an island
Everyone had to go
Pillars turn to butter
Butterflying low
Low is where your heart is
But your heart has to grow
Drifting under bridges
Never with the flow
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
Everywhere there's trouble
Nowhere's safe to go
Pushes turn to shovels
Shovelling the snow
Frozen you have chosen
The path you wish to go
Drifting now forever
And forever more
Until you reach your shore
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
You've been drifting, for a long, long
Drifting for a long, long time
Just love the phrases "Just driftwood, hollow and of no use" and "Drifting for a long, long time"
How time flies indeed... Meet an old classmate of mine while "yum cha" with the loser Chris at 1st Station behind Klang Parade yesterday. Tis encounter kinda gimme stirs up the feeling of under achievement that have haunted me since primary school.
While my peers are scaling their way up to the peak of the mountain, I'm practically still idle at the base of the mountain. Heck some even have conquered the peak and now are enjoying the beautiful sunset and vista view from the top.
Quoting a phrase from Takemoto (Honey & Clover anime), "It's not the case where I lack the skill but rather it's the case where I lack a destination" Or maybe it's the case where I lack both skill + destination.
In terms of "talent", I used to believe myself to be superior to many during my teenager era. Looking back, I guess I was a pretty god damn arrogant naive bastard back then. I used to tag myself as a Math Genius (Truth be told, I considered myself as a Math God back then) back at my high school days, now look at me... I can't even do basic arithmetic properly anymore now. Those whom I considered as inferior to me back then, now have all surpass me in live, living their dreams...
At moments like tis I just feel like taking a runaway train to a far far away land, to a place where I dun need to compare myself to others in term of achievement but just be myself, Shed away tis mask I been wearing in front of so many people for so long...
Well, enuff grunts on my loseristic life, my CNY break is almost over... Back to work tis monday. *Sigh*.
While my peers are scaling their way up to the peak of the mountain, I'm practically still idle at the base of the mountain. Heck some even have conquered the peak and now are enjoying the beautiful sunset and vista view from the top.
Quoting a phrase from Takemoto (Honey & Clover anime), "It's not the case where I lack the skill but rather it's the case where I lack a destination" Or maybe it's the case where I lack both skill + destination.
In terms of "talent", I used to believe myself to be superior to many during my teenager era. Looking back, I guess I was a pretty god damn arrogant naive bastard back then. I used to tag myself as a Math Genius (Truth be told, I considered myself as a Math God back then) back at my high school days, now look at me... I can't even do basic arithmetic properly anymore now. Those whom I considered as inferior to me back then, now have all surpass me in live, living their dreams...
At moments like tis I just feel like taking a runaway train to a far far away land, to a place where I dun need to compare myself to others in term of achievement but just be myself, Shed away tis mask I been wearing in front of so many people for so long...
Well, enuff grunts on my loseristic life, my CNY break is almost over... Back to work tis monday. *Sigh*.
What is Courage
Is it Brave
What are Lions
I've only seen them in parades
How is love supposed to read
In a footnote of history
What's a tap on your shoulder
That you're afraid to look over
A soldier's down in a fire fight
No one can look me in the eye
This is what it means to be alone.
Tear out my Heart
Feed it to Lions
For this one wish I beg you this tonight
Show me no mercy
But spare me my pride
I'm going for a drive
And if you find out he's coming home
When I come around the corner
I'll know that it's alright
Just leave me two lights
He was young just 23
Didn't have to go
But it was the man he wanted to be
Like every son he was an only one
One day he came to me, said
Freedoms nothing to look over
Till each man can stand upon its shoulder
I'll right you mountains of letters
Each one a little bit better
And know I'll never be alone
Tear out my Heart
Feed it to Lions
For this one wish I beg you this tonight
Show me no mercy
But spare me my pride
I'm going for a drive
And if you find out he's coming home
When I come around the corner
I'll know that it's alright
Leave me two lights
Silent Angels
Light the road up ahead
As the sentries guard the way
On the avenue of borrowed time
I'm almost home
The sun's to rise
I got to know
I've been driving all the night
There's our corner up ahead
I'm alive and I am dead
I drive right through the stop sign
I turn my head
As I lift my eyes
My eyes burn
Tear out my Heart
Feed it to Lions
For this one wish I beg you this tonight
Show me no mercy
Spare me my pride
I'm going for a drive
The phrase "This is what it means to be alone" in tis song makes it my personal favourite song for tis year's Valentine Day...
Well, CNY (Chinese New Year) is just around da corner... My co. held their annual CNY dinner at Tai Thong near Leisure Mall last friday. The whole employees from my company attended the dinner, including some bigshot client bosses. The mood was quite festive... For me, it marks my second CNY dinner for tis company.
The dinner kicked of with "Guess the ang pow amount" game where every employee was to guess mysterious amount in an angpow packed by my company's boss. Whoever that guess was nearest to that amount get the ang pow. Considering the CNY mood, I wrote down Rm 888 (Yea, I know tis amount is abit too big but my other guess Rm88 is too small) as the amount and fell short as the actual amount which was Rm 700+. One of my work collegue hit a nearer amount and thus won the moolah.
Next was the dinner itself. The food was okay but nothing special. Inbetween waiting intervals between dishes, there was a lucky draw where one employee name would be drawn from a box. The employee would then have to bottoms up a glass of booze to win a random prize. That employee will also draw the next employee name from the box and refill the glass with booze for the next employee to drink. The boss had the honour of drawing the first employee and filling the glass for that employee. The game started out quite reasonable as the glass of booze was only filled reasonable 1/4 till my Manager drew first blood, filling the glass overflowing with booze at her draw. The other employee followed suit at their respective draws and it was pretty much a booze feast rather than a dinner. My name was drawn by my mentor but glass was filled by a couple of seniors + boss (Pretty much already taken over the refilling booze role). My mentor offered to drink some portion for me considering he know i'm not a regular booze drinker but considering the occasion, I refused his kind offer and bottoms down the whole glass. The aftermath came slowly but I was experiencing headache and drowsiness by the time the last dinner dish was served.
After every employee name was drawn from the box (In other words, everyone already had a go at the booze), my boss kicked off an ad-hoc lucky draw... He took cash from his own wallet and restart the lucky draw once more with every employee name in the box. The rule was simple, 1 glass for cash. Once his wallet was depleted of cash, he asked for the others client bosses to offer money for the lucky draw. Every employee had a go at the booze again... I had to booze down another glass of booze but considering my already half drunken state, my senior only pour little booze for me tis time. By the end, some of my work collegue that had quite consume a huge amount of booze was KO'ed. Some female ones had to vommit in the toilet and some others were already in lala land.
I was having a slight headache but lost some amount of control over my body despite drinking some huge amount of chinese tea to remedy the effects of the booze. Two work collegue and I decided a walk in a pasar malam nearby would be good to clear of the effects of the booze. Despite the walk, I ended up giving one of junior drive me back to office in my car. Some work collegue to had to be send back to the office at their drunken state. I R&R (+ dota) in the office together with quite alot of work collegue that was afraid of road blocks. By around 3am, I pretty much recovered and safely make the long trip home from Cheras to Klang.
The dinner kicked of with "Guess the ang pow amount" game where every employee was to guess mysterious amount in an angpow packed by my company's boss. Whoever that guess was nearest to that amount get the ang pow. Considering the CNY mood, I wrote down Rm 888 (Yea, I know tis amount is abit too big but my other guess Rm88 is too small) as the amount and fell short as the actual amount which was Rm 700+. One of my work collegue hit a nearer amount and thus won the moolah.
Next was the dinner itself. The food was okay but nothing special. Inbetween waiting intervals between dishes, there was a lucky draw where one employee name would be drawn from a box. The employee would then have to bottoms up a glass of booze to win a random prize. That employee will also draw the next employee name from the box and refill the glass with booze for the next employee to drink. The boss had the honour of drawing the first employee and filling the glass for that employee. The game started out quite reasonable as the glass of booze was only filled reasonable 1/4 till my Manager drew first blood, filling the glass overflowing with booze at her draw. The other employee followed suit at their respective draws and it was pretty much a booze feast rather than a dinner. My name was drawn by my mentor but glass was filled by a couple of seniors + boss (Pretty much already taken over the refilling booze role). My mentor offered to drink some portion for me considering he know i'm not a regular booze drinker but considering the occasion, I refused his kind offer and bottoms down the whole glass. The aftermath came slowly but I was experiencing headache and drowsiness by the time the last dinner dish was served.
After every employee name was drawn from the box (In other words, everyone already had a go at the booze), my boss kicked off an ad-hoc lucky draw... He took cash from his own wallet and restart the lucky draw once more with every employee name in the box. The rule was simple, 1 glass for cash. Once his wallet was depleted of cash, he asked for the others client bosses to offer money for the lucky draw. Every employee had a go at the booze again... I had to booze down another glass of booze but considering my already half drunken state, my senior only pour little booze for me tis time. By the end, some of my work collegue that had quite consume a huge amount of booze was KO'ed. Some female ones had to vommit in the toilet and some others were already in lala land.
I was having a slight headache but lost some amount of control over my body despite drinking some huge amount of chinese tea to remedy the effects of the booze. Two work collegue and I decided a walk in a pasar malam nearby would be good to clear of the effects of the booze. Despite the walk, I ended up giving one of junior drive me back to office in my car. Some work collegue to had to be send back to the office at their drunken state. I R&R (+ dota) in the office together with quite alot of work collegue that was afraid of road blocks. By around 3am, I pretty much recovered and safely make the long trip home from Cheras to Klang.
The Riddle - Five For Fighting
There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me
He said,
Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see
Then he said,
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me
And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
I said,
Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?
There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said… You looking for a clue I Love You free...
The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me
I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me
He said,
Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see
Then he said,
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me
And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
I said,
Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?
There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said… You looking for a clue I Love You free...
The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me
I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
The Force is everywhere around us,
It is neither a living thing,
Nor is it a not living thing,
It's eternal,
Yet to it eternal is only 1 ms,
It's doesn't sleep,
So it doesn't awaken,
I feel it in the water,
I feel it in the earth,
I smell it in the air,
It come into me through every breath i take,
And leaves me through every fart i take,
It's echo can be heard and felt from a thousand li,
It's grunt can be heard whenever u tune into Astro Sport intime for Triple H grunts,
It's laughter can be heard whenever u watch Malaysian Idol,
It's roar can be heard clearly whenever u put ur head inside a lion's mouth,
It's growl can be heard whenever I'm hungry,
It's cry can be heard whenever a tree is chop down in da name of development,
It's there when a parrot say "Polly want's a dougnut",
It's there when a hippo fart,
It's there when a pair of squirel rub their "nuts",
It's there when a elephant is gunned down cold blooded,
It's there when we humans hurt each other,
Some use it to find their path in life,
Some use it to live a healthier life,
Some use it for fortune telling,
Some use it to predict the stock market,
Others use it to yield lightsabers,
To some it's something divine,
To some it's something unholy,
To some it's something good,
To some it's something evil,
To some it's something mystery,
To some it's something scientific,
To me it's just "The Force",
It starts at the end,
And it ends at the start,
It is all,
Yet all is just it,
Trying to describe it using words is a fool's effort,
However those who waste time reading any written crap about it is always the greater fool,
May the Force be with you...
It is neither a living thing,
Nor is it a not living thing,
It's eternal,
Yet to it eternal is only 1 ms,
It's doesn't sleep,
So it doesn't awaken,
I feel it in the water,
I feel it in the earth,
I smell it in the air,
It come into me through every breath i take,
And leaves me through every fart i take,
It's echo can be heard and felt from a thousand li,
It's grunt can be heard whenever u tune into Astro Sport intime for Triple H grunts,
It's laughter can be heard whenever u watch Malaysian Idol,
It's roar can be heard clearly whenever u put ur head inside a lion's mouth,
It's growl can be heard whenever I'm hungry,
It's cry can be heard whenever a tree is chop down in da name of development,
It's there when a parrot say "Polly want's a dougnut",
It's there when a hippo fart,
It's there when a pair of squirel rub their "nuts",
It's there when a elephant is gunned down cold blooded,
It's there when we humans hurt each other,
Some use it to find their path in life,
Some use it to live a healthier life,
Some use it for fortune telling,
Some use it to predict the stock market,
Others use it to yield lightsabers,
To some it's something divine,
To some it's something unholy,
To some it's something good,
To some it's something evil,
To some it's something mystery,
To some it's something scientific,
To me it's just "The Force",
It starts at the end,
And it ends at the start,
It is all,
Yet all is just it,
Trying to describe it using words is a fool's effort,
However those who waste time reading any written crap about it is always the greater fool,
May the Force be with you...
Tis are my personal comments on tis blog entry posted by c.s :
Goddamn, how dare u tag me as a no good, loseristic, cheapsake co-chairman of NATO? Bullshit! I'm f*ckin piss off... Tis gotta be the greatest insult I ever taken in my entire life! I consider u as my best fren and ya backstab me like tis... KNN! Dun degrade me to ur level... I'm better than u, always have been and always will be... MCH! Some f*cking great fren u turn out to be. SCREW U C.S! SCREW U!!!
Ask urself tis question lar c.s, "How could u?". How could u call me co-chairman of NATO!? Jackass! I'm da goddamn f*cking founder and dictator for life of NATO!!! Co-chairman my foot... Dun u ever forget my goddamn rank! I'm also da f*ckin better NATOer than u are, so c.s my final words to ya... I'm King of da World! WOOOOOOO!! Can ya smell wat da Dictator of NATO is NATOing?
And tat's da bottomline coz King NATO said so...
Goddamn, how dare u tag me as a no good, loseristic, cheapsake co-chairman of NATO? Bullshit! I'm f*ckin piss off... Tis gotta be the greatest insult I ever taken in my entire life! I consider u as my best fren and ya backstab me like tis... KNN! Dun degrade me to ur level... I'm better than u, always have been and always will be... MCH! Some f*cking great fren u turn out to be. SCREW U C.S! SCREW U!!!
Ask urself tis question lar c.s, "How could u?". How could u call me co-chairman of NATO!? Jackass! I'm da goddamn f*cking founder and dictator for life of NATO!!! Co-chairman my foot... Dun u ever forget my goddamn rank! I'm also da f*ckin better NATOer than u are, so c.s my final words to ya... I'm King of da World! WOOOOOOO!! Can ya smell wat da Dictator of NATO is NATOing?
And tat's da bottomline coz King NATO said so...
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