Dear bloggie,
When I wore my first glasses for the 1st time, I felt like seeing the world through another keyhole. The blur vision that I always assume was normal dissolved into clarity that I'd long forgotten.
Today, I experience tis deja vu feeling again. This time around, was after I taken a small tiny pill. The sensation of something being lifted, something I thought was simply just a part of me... I feel a relaxing sensation around the temple of my forehead that I never knew was possible.
Yes, the doctor confirmed I have high blood pressure and prescribe some drug medications to lower my blood pressure. The doctor asked me to come again for a checkup in a month time and depending on situation, I may need to undergo a full blood checkup.
Feels like every part of my body is starting to break apart. Legs, knees, heart and even my blood...
It's really moments like this, I find it hard no to ponder on why I survived. Survived only to face things like this. MFR would probably b*tch bout how lucky I am to be alive... I dunno, I mean to survive only to see myself breakdown physically, mentally and spiritually... Dun get me wrong, if I have to choose between life or death, I would choose life... But I just can't find any purpose to living anymore...
Dear bloggie,
Smells like teen spirit - Nirvana
Load up on guns,
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's overboard self assured
Oh no I know, a dirty word.
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
i feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulato!
An Albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
Yay! Hey! Yay!
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulato!
An Albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
Yay! Hey! Yay!
(Solo)
And I forget just why I taste -
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mullato!
An albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
A denial!(x9)
Load up on guns,
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's overboard self assured
Oh no I know, a dirty word.
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
i feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulato!
An Albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
Yay! Hey! Yay!
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulato!
An Albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
Yay! Hey! Yay!
(Solo)
And I forget just why I taste -
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hello, hello, hello, hello?
Hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, how low, how low?
Hello, hello, hello.
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mullato!
An albino!
A mosquito!
My libido!
A denial!(x9)
Dear bloggie,
My weight has stabilize at 65kgs. Hence achieving my year 2 weight goal of +2.5kg. Body fat wise, from my fat calipers seems to be the same. So I really gained 2.5kg of muscles for tis year. With still 3 more month to go before my year 2 of weight training ends, I hope to be able to add another 0.5kg of muscle to my weight if possible.
An overall breakdown of my muscle gain by body part (my inspection from the mirror), I think my shoulders are without a doubt the part that grown the most. My chest I feel is more broader and lats when I flare it have a small V shape de. Triceps also grown, but biceps I not sure why looks fatter instead of bigger. Maybe it's cause the shoulder too big compared to my biceps. Leg wise, sadly no improvement cause I busted my leg a few times and really can't add pound to my leg training. And finally, my abs... My first pack started to appeared, when I suck in my tummy, can see the vague 1st pack line on the upper half of my abs, still got too much fat I recon.
When I started my training, I knew it would take a LONG time for me to get the body I want, but after paying my dues for almost 2 years, the visual effects are starting to show. While I'm only half way there, I'm feeling rather optimistic on my chances to hit 70kg in 2 more years time.
I also decided it time, I start to shake my workout by changing my reliance on my core exercises (pushup, row and crunch) and take it up another notch by trying out a variety of workout. My new policy is "Try 1 new exercise 1 GYM session". I recently even try out the bench press (I only bench press once before tis, rest I rely on pushup for my chest workout) which I usually avoid coz the intimidating location the bench is located (The place where all the Arnold wannabe are working out). Guess it's not so scary and siah sui after all to walk between these Arnold wannable guys and grab a light bar and do the bench press.
My weight has stabilize at 65kgs. Hence achieving my year 2 weight goal of +2.5kg. Body fat wise, from my fat calipers seems to be the same. So I really gained 2.5kg of muscles for tis year. With still 3 more month to go before my year 2 of weight training ends, I hope to be able to add another 0.5kg of muscle to my weight if possible.
An overall breakdown of my muscle gain by body part (my inspection from the mirror), I think my shoulders are without a doubt the part that grown the most. My chest I feel is more broader and lats when I flare it have a small V shape de. Triceps also grown, but biceps I not sure why looks fatter instead of bigger. Maybe it's cause the shoulder too big compared to my biceps. Leg wise, sadly no improvement cause I busted my leg a few times and really can't add pound to my leg training. And finally, my abs... My first pack started to appeared, when I suck in my tummy, can see the vague 1st pack line on the upper half of my abs, still got too much fat I recon.
When I started my training, I knew it would take a LONG time for me to get the body I want, but after paying my dues for almost 2 years, the visual effects are starting to show. While I'm only half way there, I'm feeling rather optimistic on my chances to hit 70kg in 2 more years time.
I also decided it time, I start to shake my workout by changing my reliance on my core exercises (pushup, row and crunch) and take it up another notch by trying out a variety of workout. My new policy is "Try 1 new exercise 1 GYM session". I recently even try out the bench press (I only bench press once before tis, rest I rely on pushup for my chest workout) which I usually avoid coz the intimidating location the bench is located (The place where all the Arnold wannabe are working out). Guess it's not so scary and siah sui after all to walk between these Arnold wannable guys and grab a light bar and do the bench press.
Dear bloggie,
If I had to name 2 space cum mecha dorama, one will no doubt be Gundam. Another will be Macross.
Both series have different orientation. Gundam tend to paint the pain, horror and suffering from war in the backdrop of cool giant mechas while Macross has always and will always be about "Protoculture". Both series have their own unique politics element in their plotline not to mention mushy love element too. One significant difference is Macross tend to be driven more on the element of music, though I think Gundam Seed was pretty good in the music element.
I however have to say, having grown up watching Robotech (US rip off of Macross), I'm a bigger Macross fan than Gundam. I mean, common... Transforming robot jet planes, Aliens, Love triangle, A chick getting "high" singing in the middle of a war zone with missile flying at the background... So, So, MacRocks...
If I had to name 2 space cum mecha dorama, one will no doubt be Gundam. Another will be Macross.
Both series have different orientation. Gundam tend to paint the pain, horror and suffering from war in the backdrop of cool giant mechas while Macross has always and will always be about "Protoculture". Both series have their own unique politics element in their plotline not to mention mushy love element too. One significant difference is Macross tend to be driven more on the element of music, though I think Gundam Seed was pretty good in the music element.
I however have to say, having grown up watching Robotech (US rip off of Macross), I'm a bigger Macross fan than Gundam. I mean, common... Transforming robot jet planes, Aliens, Love triangle, A chick getting "high" singing in the middle of a war zone with missile flying at the background... So, So, MacRocks...
Dear bloggie,
Rewatching Honey & Clover...
"Oh heaven,
To cry because you have something you want to do (What is it?)
And to cry because you can't find it (How do I find it?)
Which is more painful? (If I find it, will I be stronger?)
The only thing I can tell is (from she who was now bent over in tears)
Even with all the words I have now (What I felt was limitless)"
Takemoto - Honey and Clover
Rewatching Honey & Clover...
"Oh heaven,
To cry because you have something you want to do (What is it?)
And to cry because you can't find it (How do I find it?)
Which is more painful? (If I find it, will I be stronger?)
The only thing I can tell is (from she who was now bent over in tears)
Even with all the words I have now (What I felt was limitless)"
Takemoto - Honey and Clover
Dear bloggie,
I wanted to blog about tis yesterday, but I had go pay my dues to da MAN (aka work). And after work, I had to get my endorphin shot from my gym. So tada...
I was awoken by the shivering cold breeze that touched my exposed naked feet. I had again, fallen asleep while watching movie on my laptop hence my body was exposed to the cold air with no blanket protection or wat so ever.
I gaze around my room... Everything seems so blur, not just cause I wasn't wearing my glasses but my brain was like a computer OS, just started to boot up, and was still loading. I pondered where I was? who am I? why am I here? No answers seem to come up... Then someone popup into my mind. I didn't knew who this someone was, but then after a few seconds, I remembered. Then I grabbed my blanket and Zzz...
I was never really able to tell if that moment was a dream or not. The image of my room, the headache and sensation of the cold chilling feet was so real, yet it had the same sensation when one dreams, the drifting sensation. Like ur just a 3rd person viewing urself in a story/play/watever.
There's this idea that says when we die, we end up dreaming forever. Meaning we just dream and dream in an endless loop without ever being able to wake up again. Every time we wake up, we wake up to another dream. If so, how do I know if I'm not dreaming right now? How can one know is life isn't merely a dream? What we perceive and feel after all are govern our brain (Sorta like the Matrix).
I wanted to blog about tis yesterday, but I had go pay my dues to da MAN (aka work). And after work, I had to get my endorphin shot from my gym. So tada...
I was awoken by the shivering cold breeze that touched my exposed naked feet. I had again, fallen asleep while watching movie on my laptop hence my body was exposed to the cold air with no blanket protection or wat so ever.
I gaze around my room... Everything seems so blur, not just cause I wasn't wearing my glasses but my brain was like a computer OS, just started to boot up, and was still loading. I pondered where I was? who am I? why am I here? No answers seem to come up... Then someone popup into my mind. I didn't knew who this someone was, but then after a few seconds, I remembered. Then I grabbed my blanket and Zzz...
I was never really able to tell if that moment was a dream or not. The image of my room, the headache and sensation of the cold chilling feet was so real, yet it had the same sensation when one dreams, the drifting sensation. Like ur just a 3rd person viewing urself in a story/play/watever.
There's this idea that says when we die, we end up dreaming forever. Meaning we just dream and dream in an endless loop without ever being able to wake up again. Every time we wake up, we wake up to another dream. If so, how do I know if I'm not dreaming right now? How can one know is life isn't merely a dream? What we perceive and feel after all are govern our brain (Sorta like the Matrix).
Dear bloggie,
Love Hurts - Nazareth
Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and marks
Any heart, not tough
Or strong enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Love hurts
I'm young, I know
But even so
I know a thing or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts
Love hurts
Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts
Love hurts
Love hurts
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts
Love hurts
Love hurts
Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and marks
Any heart, not tough
Or strong enough
To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Love hurts
I'm young, I know
But even so
I know a thing or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts
Love hurts
Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts
Love hurts
Love hurts
I know it isn't true
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts
Love hurts
Love hurts
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