Dear Emma,
It's now 12.57am late nite and I'm still wide awake. This is one of those days where my mind simply refuse to go into sleep mode. It seems like a eternity since the last time I couldn't fall asleep. The past 6 months been a rather tiring one with my new job, hence I had little problem sleeping at nite.
The refusal to sleep reminded me of myself when I was in college days, those days when I simply refused to sleep to watch a movie or etc. I was like an owl back then, active at nite, sleep at day. Sometimes I could go without sleep for 2 days straight... How I aged since...
I have been always complaining bout how I couldn't b*tch bout being in mid life crisis since I was still not mid aged yet... Yet in another 4 days, I will be 32 years old. 32 years old... Oh man... Another 3 years before I can declare myself mid age crisis. Just 3 more years... *Sigh*
So what do I feel like b*tchin about in this late hour? I dunno frankly speaking. My creative juice seem to be running low recently. Let me think, what I been doing today. I practically spend the whole day at home today. Surfing, counter striking and juicing...
Anyway, I was told I am going to be involve in a personality team training conducted by my company. So, I was surfing for personality tests to see if I had a change in my personality. I retook the Carl Jung personality test and to my amazement, was stereotype as ISFP. In my last personality test, I was labelled as INFP. So did I change my personality or what?
Technically, both ISFP and INFP are introverts that are live their life according to a set of belief that they hold dear inside their heart. ISFP is a more hand on guy, grounded to physical things and action oriented. INFP meanwhile is more de attached from physical reality, dwell in the imaginary world in their mind and prefer to daydream than to do something.
Reading the description of the ISFP and INFP, I'm convinced the test I took is faulty and believe I still fall inside my original INFP type. According to some material I saw on the net, a good example of a INFP is Frodo from Lord of the Rings. The reluctant hero that plays the hero role due to his conviction to his belief he has to complete the quest. Another cool character that is INFP is Calvin from the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes".
INFP are in general great listeners. One that is willing to lend a ear for others to pour their hearts to, as long as the topic is something that INFP deem as meaningful (non empty conversation). INFP keep their feelings and thoughts deep inside themselves and are only willing to share em with a selected few that are really close with them. They are also constantly trying to make sense of this world and hold a set of belief that they place as a sacred unspoken oath. They sometimes are deem as cold by other due to their lack of physical reaction to things but the reality is that they have a reaction in the inside, it's just they are good at masking it on the outside. They however are de attached from reality and due to their perfectionist behaviour sometimes take things too personally.
Dear Emma,
I finally hit my targeted weight of 70kg... That's a 10kg increase from my original 60kg bodyweight before I started gymin. Hard to imagine it already been 5 long years since I first started doing my 1st pushup in July 2009.
There's definitely been good days, bad days and really bad days during this 5 long years of sweating blood while pumping iron. Injuries come and go. I injured my tricep, shoulder and even spine. But that's all part of the parcel of this discipline...
Looking back, my motivating for working out definitely have changed through the years. From the initial gain stronger body for running and putting some meat into my upper body to gaining a acceptable strength ratio in my lifts. I started with a classical bodyweight workout I got via Scooby's youtube videos. Then I got exposed to the mental and spirtual exercise via Pilates and Yoga. I made some great progress during my 1st 2 years putting on 5 kgs before plateauing for 1.5 year.
My working career and mating attempt went down the tube during that period... I however stumbled across power lifting (Starting Strength) and decided to try something new to break the plateau. I made some progress in terms of weights I could lift (and gained 2.5 kg) before finally injuring my lower spine courtesy the deadlift.
Took some time off heavy weight and attempt to further improve my skill in Pilates by taking Pilates instructor course. Learnt a lot from the course, but the most important lesson learnt was I'm no instructor material. I returned to power lifting but found my strength pummel quite a lot compared to my peak before I got injured. Slowly rebuild my strength via Wendler 5-3-1 but my lack of discipline to follow the program made my progress really slow. I took a month of it due to my US trip before deciding to restart my whole power lifting training from ground zero via Starting Strength. Almost hit my peak again and walah... I finally achieved my magic 70kg body weight.
So where do I go from here? To be honest, I'm not so sure myself. I'm considering taking another break from power lifting and venturing into a more all rounded workout. A little bit of strength, flexibility, balance, aerobics and core. While most people say the danger of training for everything is you might end up gaining nothing. But I think "gain" is depends on one's goal.
While I feel stronger especially after lifting weights, I do feel my body is heavier. My new fitness goal is to obtain a body that feels light. To feel light, one body must be strong and weight must be light. Hence a proper bodyweight-strength ratio is required. Also to feel light, proper movement patterns should be practised. I will be focusing more on bodyweight exercises to obtain the bodyweight-strength ratio as bodyweight exercises are a great indicator of how fit you are (Too fat or lack strength = little reps). Also I want to refocus more on Pilates to obtain at least the "Breathing", "Spine Elongation" and "Spine Articulation" aspect down. Also look to fix some muscle imbalance I develop in my body, mainly anterior and rear deltoids issue. Looking forward to this new journey....
I finally hit my targeted weight of 70kg... That's a 10kg increase from my original 60kg bodyweight before I started gymin. Hard to imagine it already been 5 long years since I first started doing my 1st pushup in July 2009.
There's definitely been good days, bad days and really bad days during this 5 long years of sweating blood while pumping iron. Injuries come and go. I injured my tricep, shoulder and even spine. But that's all part of the parcel of this discipline...
Looking back, my motivating for working out definitely have changed through the years. From the initial gain stronger body for running and putting some meat into my upper body to gaining a acceptable strength ratio in my lifts. I started with a classical bodyweight workout I got via Scooby's youtube videos. Then I got exposed to the mental and spirtual exercise via Pilates and Yoga. I made some great progress during my 1st 2 years putting on 5 kgs before plateauing for 1.5 year.
My working career and mating attempt went down the tube during that period... I however stumbled across power lifting (Starting Strength) and decided to try something new to break the plateau. I made some progress in terms of weights I could lift (and gained 2.5 kg) before finally injuring my lower spine courtesy the deadlift.
Took some time off heavy weight and attempt to further improve my skill in Pilates by taking Pilates instructor course. Learnt a lot from the course, but the most important lesson learnt was I'm no instructor material. I returned to power lifting but found my strength pummel quite a lot compared to my peak before I got injured. Slowly rebuild my strength via Wendler 5-3-1 but my lack of discipline to follow the program made my progress really slow. I took a month of it due to my US trip before deciding to restart my whole power lifting training from ground zero via Starting Strength. Almost hit my peak again and walah... I finally achieved my magic 70kg body weight.
So where do I go from here? To be honest, I'm not so sure myself. I'm considering taking another break from power lifting and venturing into a more all rounded workout. A little bit of strength, flexibility, balance, aerobics and core. While most people say the danger of training for everything is you might end up gaining nothing. But I think "gain" is depends on one's goal.
While I feel stronger especially after lifting weights, I do feel my body is heavier. My new fitness goal is to obtain a body that feels light. To feel light, one body must be strong and weight must be light. Hence a proper bodyweight-strength ratio is required. Also to feel light, proper movement patterns should be practised. I will be focusing more on bodyweight exercises to obtain the bodyweight-strength ratio as bodyweight exercises are a great indicator of how fit you are (Too fat or lack strength = little reps). Also I want to refocus more on Pilates to obtain at least the "Breathing", "Spine Elongation" and "Spine Articulation" aspect down. Also look to fix some muscle imbalance I develop in my body, mainly anterior and rear deltoids issue. Looking forward to this new journey....
Dear Emma,
I actually was keen on getting a Xiaomi Red1S smartphone but decided against it due to conflict in principle. My problem lies with both the provider and the bunch of scavengers that seems to plague this rather good product in my opinion.
First of all, while I think the flash sales strategy is rather innovative but fundamentally flawed. Frankly speaking this flash sales is a nuisance in my opinion and don't understand why do they need to resort to such mean to rake up sales, especially when they already have a good product at a great price. A lot of people got sucker into buying their product cause of the "Jusco Member Day" mindset Xiaomi managed to infused into these bunch of peoples. Who do I blame for this? Sadly I have to blame the consumers themselves for this. Why? For getting sucker into this gimmick. As long as the consumer keep playing along, that's as long Xiaomi will continue doing this gig. If consumer grow a backbone and boikot Xiaomi for one flash sale event... Imagine "10,000 unit, not one single unit sold", you think Xiaomi will take a serious look at how they are f*ckin the consumer with their gimmick? But at last, consumers will be consumers... overly blinded by greed and kiasu ness.
Second is the 2nd level market some people are already creating. True to the mindset "You can make profit outta anything", the scavengers are buying multiple units and then reselling for some profit. Now is this wrong? No... This act is in no way wrong-er than how our real estate got screwed by a bunch people with the same mindset. And everyone is b*tchin bout how house prices are expensive and etc, when the same bunch of jokers are actually pulling the same shit albeit at a much smaller scale. A bunch of hypocrites...
So I decided to grow a backbone and say no. F*ck Xiaomi and their flash sales... Flash ur cheap phone up ur candid arse for all I care... I will not participate in this dumb gimmick and will not contribute to getting a bunch of scavengers richer period... I'm not saying what they are doing is wrong, it's just I won't give my hard earn moolah to these bunch of peoples...
I actually was keen on getting a Xiaomi Red1S smartphone but decided against it due to conflict in principle. My problem lies with both the provider and the bunch of scavengers that seems to plague this rather good product in my opinion.
First of all, while I think the flash sales strategy is rather innovative but fundamentally flawed. Frankly speaking this flash sales is a nuisance in my opinion and don't understand why do they need to resort to such mean to rake up sales, especially when they already have a good product at a great price. A lot of people got sucker into buying their product cause of the "Jusco Member Day" mindset Xiaomi managed to infused into these bunch of peoples. Who do I blame for this? Sadly I have to blame the consumers themselves for this. Why? For getting sucker into this gimmick. As long as the consumer keep playing along, that's as long Xiaomi will continue doing this gig. If consumer grow a backbone and boikot Xiaomi for one flash sale event... Imagine "10,000 unit, not one single unit sold", you think Xiaomi will take a serious look at how they are f*ckin the consumer with their gimmick? But at last, consumers will be consumers... overly blinded by greed and kiasu ness.
Second is the 2nd level market some people are already creating. True to the mindset "You can make profit outta anything", the scavengers are buying multiple units and then reselling for some profit. Now is this wrong? No... This act is in no way wrong-er than how our real estate got screwed by a bunch people with the same mindset. And everyone is b*tchin bout how house prices are expensive and etc, when the same bunch of jokers are actually pulling the same shit albeit at a much smaller scale. A bunch of hypocrites...
So I decided to grow a backbone and say no. F*ck Xiaomi and their flash sales... Flash ur cheap phone up ur candid arse for all I care... I will not participate in this dumb gimmick and will not contribute to getting a bunch of scavengers richer period... I'm not saying what they are doing is wrong, it's just I won't give my hard earn moolah to these bunch of peoples...
Dear Emma,
Been quite awhile since I last wrote anything in this blog... Well, I actually had some entries in draft but I just wasn't in the mood to complete em.
It been already 1+ month since I came back from the US. Was a pretty wild trip... Open up my eyes towards how big US is... and this world is as well...
So after such a long hiatus, why am I writing this entry today?
I have been a self impose exile from facebook and have been clean from facebook for almost 7 months. Today I decided to stalk some of my "friends" from facebook without login into my account which triggered the self loathing, underachiever and depressed mood I frequently was experiencing before I quit facebook.
Now, I initially blame facebook and the facebook junkies for this, but after some self reflection decided to not put the blame on them... The reality is the facebook is for me sort of a reflection mirror. It's only projecting my own ego and negativity. However I also decided I'm not going to blame myself for being weak to the extend I could be easily bummed by this. This is just a part of me that I have to learn to live with. Maybe I not strong enough in terms of EQ to play facebook, so just don't play facebook.
However, reflecting things through... I realize sure I may bitch now and then bout how a zero I am in life... but am I really discontent with how things are in my life? I have to honestly say "no". I have a ok job that I'm rather fond off to earns my daily bread, I own a small but working car, I have a place to sleep at night, I have my family, I have little but close buddies... and really I think that's sufficient... Sure, I yearn for things I currently don't have but that's life, you can't always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get what you need. My needs aren't much, so I don't have to try hard in life and that for me is the strongest point in my life.
I always operated on the assumption that everyone in this world exists for a higher purpose that god have set in stone in the stone walls of fate. But now I guess our only purpose in life is to simply live... Anything else other than that... is icing on the already delicious cake...
Been quite awhile since I last wrote anything in this blog... Well, I actually had some entries in draft but I just wasn't in the mood to complete em.
It been already 1+ month since I came back from the US. Was a pretty wild trip... Open up my eyes towards how big US is... and this world is as well...
So after such a long hiatus, why am I writing this entry today?
I have been a self impose exile from facebook and have been clean from facebook for almost 7 months. Today I decided to stalk some of my "friends" from facebook without login into my account which triggered the self loathing, underachiever and depressed mood I frequently was experiencing before I quit facebook.
Now, I initially blame facebook and the facebook junkies for this, but after some self reflection decided to not put the blame on them... The reality is the facebook is for me sort of a reflection mirror. It's only projecting my own ego and negativity. However I also decided I'm not going to blame myself for being weak to the extend I could be easily bummed by this. This is just a part of me that I have to learn to live with. Maybe I not strong enough in terms of EQ to play facebook, so just don't play facebook.
However, reflecting things through... I realize sure I may bitch now and then bout how a zero I am in life... but am I really discontent with how things are in my life? I have to honestly say "no". I have a ok job that I'm rather fond off to earns my daily bread, I own a small but working car, I have a place to sleep at night, I have my family, I have little but close buddies... and really I think that's sufficient... Sure, I yearn for things I currently don't have but that's life, you can't always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get what you need. My needs aren't much, so I don't have to try hard in life and that for me is the strongest point in my life.
I always operated on the assumption that everyone in this world exists for a higher purpose that god have set in stone in the stone walls of fate. But now I guess our only purpose in life is to simply live... Anything else other than that... is icing on the already delicious cake...
Dear Emma,
I'm still trying to cope with the reality, I'M IN THE US! It feel rather surreal that I'm living in the states for already 3 days now... As my colleague in the US said "Things are abundance here", which I already can see from the streets, houses and food. I also noticed US is quite the Malaysia in the way how it's comprised from people from many races... Indians, Pakistanis, Afghanis, Mexican, Vietnamese, Chinese, etc...
Well, continuing from where I left off in my previous entry, it's our 2nd day in the US. Kwai mui had arranged to take us on a short tour around Manassas before going to claim our car. Before she arrived, we had our breakfast at the hotel which is rather good. The selection is rather standard for a hotel, oatmeal, cereal, scramble eggs and patties and bread. One thing different though is the waffle making machine, where you can make your own waffles from it. We had a rather heavy breakfast, I of course opt to meet my daily protein requirement through eggs and patties.
Kwai mui arrive at around 10.30+ and the 1st official place we visited in the US is... [drums roll]
LOL, yeah Walmart. We had to get some daily things like toothpaste, cooking oil, detergent, etc. My junior had some skin reaction, so we also got some medication from the pharmacy there. Things I have to say is mostly cheap here (if we ignore the currency exchange off course). You can get shit like 2 litre coke for only $2. I was tempted to buy a ciplak brand protein powder there which is only priced at $16 however decided to make some research 1st on the brand before simply throwing my $$$ into it.
After Walmart, kwai mui show us the most important path in our stay in US. The route to our office. The route is quite straightforward and would take around 15+ minutes to reach. After seeing our office building which looks like a prison camp, we went off to pick up our car. The car rental agency was located in the Manassas airport which looked really like those private small plane airport. We had to deal a rather fiery counter lady to get our car, a Mitsubishi Galant. I had to forked out $1.5K (a whopping RM4K+) for the rental before claiming it from my company when I get back from the States.
I had a short pilot drive at the rental place with kwai mui guiding me on how to drive in the US. I found it surprisingly difficult to drive when everything is swap opposite, signals light control, gearbox, etc... I could adapt quite fast to the controls in the car but the muscle memory of driving on the left hand side instead of the right was hard. I would automatically sway to the left hand side of the lane and I had to constantly remind myself, right instead of left. The rules of the road here in US also is slightly different from Malaysia. Like for instance the left lane is the the fast lane here, you can turn right in front of a red traffic light when there is no car coming, one a 4 way junction the 1st car that reaches the junction can go 1st but if both arrives at the same time the car on the right can go 1st.
Anyway, I had a driving test where I had to follow kwai mui car across some random route. I managed to slowly get the groovy at driving a US car on a US road and pass the test of following her car to our next stop which is where we would have our lunch, Famous Kebab.
After lunch, we drove back to the hotel and parted ways. Me, being worn out decided to take some Zzz. I woke up at our planned "Visit Walmart part 2" and "find dinner" event. I requested to practice driving to the office 1st as I needed some practical time driving without guide to the office, which I managed to do but with some mistake on the route I needed to take. After I verify some major landmarks on the route, we headed to Walmart where we shopped for some eating stuff to fill our fridge with.
As usual, choosing a dinner place which is halal. Not really an easy task especially when both colleague would say "Anything la" when I ask them what they want to eat (Quite frustrating at times). I decided to drive to TGI Fridays which is us behind our hotel. My Pakistanis colleague decline to eat here (not halal) and say he would eat things he bought from the supermarket at the hotel later. I got rapped when I suggested we maybe drop in him the hotel 1st before we go eat, so he don't have to watch us eat. We all ended in the restaurant and decided to order a 5 small side dish meal which we could share.
Despite the initial, "Shit, won't be enough for me", the meal was quite fulling. When we got the bill, we got into a small debate as the bill include some figure for tipping. You see, whenever you dine here in US, if you're serve by someone, it's practice to tip that someone. This is because these people base pay is low and rely on tips. This practice also make the "you get your pay on how well you service is". Back to the debate, my colleague claim that they shouldn't put the possible tip figure in the bill as tip should be based on the customer's free will. I however believe the figure is there not to force you to tip according to this figure but to provide some aid when calculating the amount of tip you want to give.
After the dinner, we finally hit our hotel. I counterstrike till 1am before managing to get tired enough to finally get some shut eyes... Hence ending this blog entry for this time, next on my entry is my 1st day at the office...
I'm still trying to cope with the reality, I'M IN THE US! It feel rather surreal that I'm living in the states for already 3 days now... As my colleague in the US said "Things are abundance here", which I already can see from the streets, houses and food. I also noticed US is quite the Malaysia in the way how it's comprised from people from many races... Indians, Pakistanis, Afghanis, Mexican, Vietnamese, Chinese, etc...
Well, continuing from where I left off in my previous entry, it's our 2nd day in the US. Kwai mui had arranged to take us on a short tour around Manassas before going to claim our car. Before she arrived, we had our breakfast at the hotel which is rather good. The selection is rather standard for a hotel, oatmeal, cereal, scramble eggs and patties and bread. One thing different though is the waffle making machine, where you can make your own waffles from it. We had a rather heavy breakfast, I of course opt to meet my daily protein requirement through eggs and patties.
Kwai mui arrive at around 10.30+ and the 1st official place we visited in the US is... [drums roll]
LOL, yeah Walmart. We had to get some daily things like toothpaste, cooking oil, detergent, etc. My junior had some skin reaction, so we also got some medication from the pharmacy there. Things I have to say is mostly cheap here (if we ignore the currency exchange off course). You can get shit like 2 litre coke for only $2. I was tempted to buy a ciplak brand protein powder there which is only priced at $16 however decided to make some research 1st on the brand before simply throwing my $$$ into it.
After Walmart, kwai mui show us the most important path in our stay in US. The route to our office. The route is quite straightforward and would take around 15+ minutes to reach. After seeing our office building which looks like a prison camp, we went off to pick up our car. The car rental agency was located in the Manassas airport which looked really like those private small plane airport. We had to deal a rather fiery counter lady to get our car, a Mitsubishi Galant. I had to forked out $1.5K (a whopping RM4K+) for the rental before claiming it from my company when I get back from the States.
I had a short pilot drive at the rental place with kwai mui guiding me on how to drive in the US. I found it surprisingly difficult to drive when everything is swap opposite, signals light control, gearbox, etc... I could adapt quite fast to the controls in the car but the muscle memory of driving on the left hand side instead of the right was hard. I would automatically sway to the left hand side of the lane and I had to constantly remind myself, right instead of left. The rules of the road here in US also is slightly different from Malaysia. Like for instance the left lane is the the fast lane here, you can turn right in front of a red traffic light when there is no car coming, one a 4 way junction the 1st car that reaches the junction can go 1st but if both arrives at the same time the car on the right can go 1st.
Anyway, I had a driving test where I had to follow kwai mui car across some random route. I managed to slowly get the groovy at driving a US car on a US road and pass the test of following her car to our next stop which is where we would have our lunch, Famous Kebab.
After lunch, we drove back to the hotel and parted ways. Me, being worn out decided to take some Zzz. I woke up at our planned "Visit Walmart part 2" and "find dinner" event. I requested to practice driving to the office 1st as I needed some practical time driving without guide to the office, which I managed to do but with some mistake on the route I needed to take. After I verify some major landmarks on the route, we headed to Walmart where we shopped for some eating stuff to fill our fridge with.
As usual, choosing a dinner place which is halal. Not really an easy task especially when both colleague would say "Anything la" when I ask them what they want to eat (Quite frustrating at times). I decided to drive to TGI Fridays which is us behind our hotel. My Pakistanis colleague decline to eat here (not halal) and say he would eat things he bought from the supermarket at the hotel later. I got rapped when I suggested we maybe drop in him the hotel 1st before we go eat, so he don't have to watch us eat. We all ended in the restaurant and decided to order a 5 small side dish meal which we could share.
Despite the initial, "Shit, won't be enough for me", the meal was quite fulling. When we got the bill, we got into a small debate as the bill include some figure for tipping. You see, whenever you dine here in US, if you're serve by someone, it's practice to tip that someone. This is because these people base pay is low and rely on tips. This practice also make the "you get your pay on how well you service is". Back to the debate, my colleague claim that they shouldn't put the possible tip figure in the bill as tip should be based on the customer's free will. I however believe the figure is there not to force you to tip according to this figure but to provide some aid when calculating the amount of tip you want to give.
After the dinner, we finally hit our hotel. I counterstrike till 1am before managing to get tired enough to finally get some shut eyes... Hence ending this blog entry for this time, next on my entry is my 1st day at the office...
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