EYD

Dear bloggie,

I think I'm suffering from EYD. Wat is EYD? According to BakaUpedia, EYD is short for "End Year Depression" sickness. It's a seasonal disease that often affects losers that wasted 1 whole year doing nothing but slack at the month of December.

Common signs of EYD is lack of energy, low self esteem, no motivation, no sex drive, laziness, [too lazy to think of other signs, use ur imagination here], etc... Researchers have debated the various causes of EYD but till today is unable to prove the exact cause of this illness. One popular theory on the cause of this sickness is that EYD is an allergic reaction to a genetic "FATSO25DEC" strand apparently is encoded on Santa Claus's DNA, hence on the month of December when Santa is coming to town, this allergic reaction triggers. Another theory is that the word "Merry" and "Happy" actually has a sound effect that serves to disrupt a loser's ear drum, causing disruption to their body function such as hormone inbalance, lower oxygen intake for red blood cells, weakness in brain neurons which results in EYD. Researchers in a case study have proven that losers that hear the word "Merry" and "Happy" more often tend to be ALOT more depressed than those who don't. There is still however no proven evidence on the "Merry" and "Happy" word triggering a disruption in a loser's body. The most absurd theory on the cause of EYD however belongs to self proclaimed monk which is famous for the outburst "WTF!? Niaseng! Kanineh! F*ck a bus! Baka!". This self proclaimed monk claimed that EYD is actually an illusion developed by loser that are already depressed to hide the fact they are depressed all the time to just at the end of the year. What a absurd theory! Why would anyone depressed even bother to do such a thing is beyond my comprehension. Clearly, I mean clearly this self proclaimed monk has never experience depression before...

While most losers dread the EYD, some twisted up f*ck has proclaimed that this illness may not be such a bad thing after all. There been claims that when one falls under EYD, one would suffer depression but at the same time have a burst of creativity. These claim have been ridiculed by many top scientist as "Depressingly stupid excuse to color one's depression as something good". There however has been a study on creative people which revealed that some of the most creative innovation has been done when they are suffering from EYD. For instance, the retrenched clown Ronald McDonald was suffering from EYD when he suddenly came up with the bright idea he could open a fast food restaurant which cons kids into eating his ridiculously unhealthy crap by giving away lame@$$ recycled toys in a the form of a "Happy" Meal. Even Leonardo Da Vinci which also suffers from EYD was said to be jerkin off in the toilet when he came up with the innovative idea that he could paint out his sex fantasy so he can do his business without burdening his brain to create his fantasy in his imagination every time. This particular painting is now one of the most renown and decorated paintings in the world, "Mona Lisa".

As for cure for EYD, most doctors often prescribe "Just wait till Happy New Year la". Other types of modern science cure for EYD are "Happy Pills", "LSD", "Pot" and any type of estacy pills. Eastern medicine meanwhile offers an alternative solution for those suffering from EYD.

"Western medicine no good, what problem also call pop drugs. We in eastern medicine believe in utilizing one's inner chi and energy flow to recover.".

So what does Eastern medicine recommend for those suffering from EYD?

Sex.

"When we having sex, we unconsciously activate all our inner chi-kung and our immune system. Also our heart rate evaluated to around cardio level, hence is good exercise for body. When we exercise, our brain release endorphin, our body's natural happy pill. Natural is best, like when drink milk, best drink from mother milk mah! Besides tat, we will sweat alot also which is good coz it help flush out one's depression."

This treatment however has said to be "contradict" as when one suffers from EYD, one typically has a weak sex drive.

"Aiyo, never heard Viagra one meh? Either that or find more BETTER sinseh la".

I end this entry with a song tat matches my mood now...