US, Facebook, Life

Dear Emma,

Been quite awhile since I last wrote anything in this blog... Well, I actually had some entries in draft but I just wasn't in the mood to complete em.

It been already 1+ month since I came back from the US. Was a pretty wild trip... Open up my eyes towards how big US is... and this world is as well...

So after such a long hiatus, why am I writing this entry today?

I have been a self impose exile from facebook and have been clean from facebook for almost 7 months. Today I decided to stalk some of my "friends" from facebook without login into my account which triggered the self loathing, underachiever and depressed mood I frequently was experiencing before I quit facebook.

Now, I initially blame facebook and the facebook junkies for this, but after some self reflection decided  to not put the blame on them... The reality is the facebook is for me sort of a reflection mirror. It's only projecting my own ego and negativity. However I also decided I'm not going to blame myself for being weak to the extend I could be easily bummed by this. This is just a part of me that I have to learn to live with. Maybe I not strong enough in terms of EQ to play facebook, so just don't play facebook.

However, reflecting things through... I realize sure I may bitch now and then bout how a zero I am in life... but am I really discontent with how things are in my life? I have to honestly say "no". I have a ok job that I'm rather fond off to earns my daily bread, I own a small but working car, I have a place to sleep at night, I have my family, I have little but close buddies... and really I think that's sufficient... Sure, I yearn for things I currently don't have but that's life, you can't always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get what you need. My needs aren't much, so I don't have to try hard in life and that for me is the strongest point in my life.

I always operated on the assumption that everyone in this world exists for a higher purpose that god have set in stone in the stone walls of fate. But now I guess our only purpose in life is to simply live... Anything else other than that... is icing on the already delicious cake...