Gotta sign em all!

Dear bloggie,

Pokemon theme song

I wanna be the very best  

Like no one ever was 

To catch them is my real test 

To train them is my cause
 

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide 

Each Pokemon to understand  

The power that's inside
 

Pokemon, its you and me 

I know it’s my destiny  

Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend  

In a world we must defend  

Pokemon, a heart so true 

Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you  

Pokemon, gotta catch 'em all
Every challenge along the way 

With courage I will face I will battle every day 

To claim my rightful place
 

Come with me, the time is right There's no better team 

Arm in arm we'll win the fight It's always been our dream

Hahaha... I added the Pokemon song on top cause that's the first thing that pop into my mind when my instructor sign me off for 2 of M1 exercises (Super easy exercise: supine breathing and mermaid for demo)... Actually got chance to sign 3 exercise one, but one more exercise she say I still lack practice...

Still got (28 x 2) - 2 = 54 to go... Gotta sign em all... 

Pi La Tes, I choose u!

Weekend with a blast

Dear bloggie,

I can't remember the last time I felt so much fun. Sure I REALLY (capital letter, bolded n commented after to really highlight) struggle my verbal and tactile cueing, but I never experience such a sense of accomplishment since god knows when. Thinking about it now, perhaps it's the same feeling I had for Mathematics during my High School days.

It took me quite a long time to "click" with Maths. Never took maths seriously until form 1, where I got a REAL grilling for not completing my homework (The "Laziness" in strong in me since kid, Wahahahaha). That event really turn things around for me. My feeling to redeem myself turned into discipline which turned evolve into skill, pride and passion. 2-3 year later, Maths brought me confidence of being something or someone, rather than being a boring normal nobody. I probably had my best years of my life within that period of chasing Maths. Sure I closed my eyes to other things (other subject and "gals") from my life, but I was pretty contend chasing Maths. I would tingle during Math exam, the sensation of putting one's prided skill to the test. Back then I was looking forward, where Math would lead my life to... Fast forward, +10 years... I ponder where I went wrong. What the heck happened in between the way that had lead me here. Fate perhaps? Or bad career choice?

Anyway, pushing aside the top self reflection grumble (which I enjoy to do) above, I like to refocus my rant on how AWESOME tis weekend has been which is why I'm sitting here with a sore lumbar (due to sitting too much) in this early wee morning infront of my computer instead of cozying in my tempting bed sheets behind me right now. When I arrive at the studio for my 1st day course, I already was counting my blessing when I was introduced to the pretty chun babe trainer (Hallelujah!). Despite what people b*tch or say, it's really helpful to one's learning if your trainer is something "pleasant" to look at (Well, at least for me, lol).  So, we started off with a mat class by the trainer as sorta intro to the exercises we are about to learn on that day. The class was "great" (probably cause it's just the simple and intermediate exercises which will be taught in this course).

So during the course of these 2 days, I was taught how to organize a class (flow of exercises), how to do the exercises properly, how to teach the exercise (emphasis, faults, watch list, cue, modifications, who shouldn't do), and some hands on. I find the theory part edible but my hands on SUX to the MAX. My mind tend to freeze whenever I was given the instructing task, whenever I see the word "Inhale" (Starting phrases for the exercise) from the manual, my mind go blank and coupled with my verbal issue... -_-' I probably seriously question my ability to be an instructor. Yet again I learned so much from this course, how/what/why/when to cue, correct, look for faults... I seriously wished I could video tape the whole experience down so I can rewatch it again (and again and again...), cause I doubt I could catch all the knowlege that has been given due to my slow learning ability which tend to comprehend rather than memorize first (terrible short terms memory). I always am a believer of the best way to learn a skill is perhaps to watch as much time as possible someone that has master that skill do it. Also, 6-7 hour of nothing but pilates is really intoxicating... It's really feel like it's purging out all my negative feelings towards my normal dull life.

However I do have to some complain on the short period of time. While intense, I would think splitting this 2 days to perhaps 3-4 days would be better as the information provided is perhaps "too much" to be absorb in a 2 day period. And it's also abit taxing on the physical side as well. I been probably doing around equivalent to a 3 hour pilates class for 2 days and while I feel rejuvenated, my mind and body is perhaps stretch to the limit (Not to mention, I need to work today).

Finally, I got to drive the pretty trainer back to the hotel... Hahaha, been quite sometime since a girl graced her presence in my car... Cross my finger the final course will be this trainer as well. I personally think female are better teachers than male.

Life of 3.1428571

Dear bloggie,

Watched Perks of being a wallflower, Rise of the guardians and last 2 days ago, Life of Pi. My opinion? Life of Pi is without a doubt the best hands down.

The sheer amount of breathtaking scenes warrant a must watch. My personal favorite scene is perhaps the scene where both Pi and Peter Parker (the tiger) shipwrecked in the life boat in the middle of the ocean, was waking up the rising sunrise. The warm orange light reflecting on the ocean while the ocean seem like a mirror reflecting the blueish and orange skies... Phenomenal really... Something just feel spiritual about that scene for me.

I however do feel the "find god" theme of this movie a bit lacking. Do god exists or not? What are the odds of someone getting stuck in the middle of the ocean with a tiger? Not to mention surviving 200+ days with the tiger? I do find the realism of god quite real, Pi getting thrown trials after trials. There's anger, questions, doubt, faith and finally acceptance to god... Yet like always, never a confirmation of god... It could be god or just coincidence...

A recommended watch... Planning to rewatch it in 3D...

Starting Strength

Dear bloggie,

Just wanted to rant about my latest workout routine which I a couple of weeks ago implemented. It's the "Starting Strength" by Mark Riptose. What's the major difference of this routine? Well, for starters it's "strength" routine instead of "body building" routine. What this means is it's for building strength as in how much you can lift instead of how big ur muscle is. So how does the workout look like? Like tis:

Workout A
Squat 5x3
Overhead Press 5x3
Barbell Row 5x3

Workout B
Squat 5x3
Deadlift 5x1
Bench Press 5x3

Just do 3 session each week, repeat Workout A, then Workout B then Workout A again for 1st week. Next week, Workout B, Workout A and Workout B... Repeat and rinse. I sorta dig the simplicity of this workout, not to mention the time. In case if ur wondering what does 5x3 here means? Well 5 is the reps and 3 is the sets.

While it's just 3 exercises per session, let me assure you these compound exercises will stress ur body. Some probably be thinking, so little exercises where enuff for pump and build muscle in balance? Well, the concept of this exercise is to make strength gains, the best way is to do it as often as possible.

Hence the 2 workout split... We workout our full body thru these 5 big compounds exercises. A very different concept in strength training is that we stress out our CNS (Central Neural System) as opposed to "the pump". Hence each set is done with around 2-3 minutes rest, as we need to be at maximum recovery when we lift for 5 reps with heavy weights.

Personally, I find the workout more intense then my normal body building routine but it lacks the pump sensation as well as worn out feeling which I normally feel after doing around 3 exercises for a muscle group. My muscle also typically recover within 1 day or 2 which so far, with exception of the deadlift and squat day, where I had to sometimes take extra day off for my lower back to recover. Adopting this new routine, I introduce Squat,  Deadlift and even Overhead Press which I never done before into my routine. The squats are also killing me. Squats are actually performed every workout. While I feel my squats really haven't reached the weights to tax my quads yet, I find myself sweating and panting like crazy after performing these every session. As for deadlift, I still am unable to perform it with proper form as my lower back would still sometimes arc at the lowering phrase which put it at a high risk for disc herniation, so I really haven't rake up the weights for this exercise yet. And incase some of u are wondering where's the arms and abs work in this routine, the beauty of this compound exercises is that they indirectly workout the arms and abs. Try doing a overhead press and feel your core working to brace you body upright as u stabilize and push the weight on top of ur head.

Results... Well, nothing dramatic as I made some gains in bench, row and as well for overhead press. However my leg feels quite worn after doing this routine for some time as I suspect the accumulated wear and tear of doing squats every session stacks up. Oddly, I feel my legs are stronger as if there's a it's brimming with energy... Maybe it's just my mind trick... I also feel stronger around my lower back thanks to the squat and deadlift which targets the posterior chain muscle which include my lower back. My lower back is a neglected muscle which I rarely exercise in the past, hence when I did my 1st deadlift, I really feel this part sore.

Perks of owning a blog

Dear bloggie,

"We accept the love we think we deserve - Charlie, Perks of Being a Wallflower"

After a super depressing day a work today, I decided to let some steam off by watching a movie. Planned to watch the "Rise of the Guardian" but when I saw "Perks of Being a Wallflower' at the same time slot I had a intense struggle to either watch Santa Claus, Bugs Bunny, Jack and the Beanstalk and co. beat the crap out of someone or watch some teenage angst... After a LONG 1 second juggling my thoughts, I decided to ffk my plan to watch this movie with MFR and watch it alone now instead (after all, I can bet my shoes he will ffk me for a gal anytime).

The movie begins with,

"Dear friend..."

Hmmm... Sounds f*ckin familiar... Personally, I find the movie a bit disturbing. In the sense, I actually feel a kinship with Charlie. Being a wallflower myself, I can perhaps understand the emotional hardship he is going thru. Most people tend to think introvert want to be left alone but the truth is introverts still do crave for human interaction (talk, dance, look at each other, etc), it's just introverts find these activities very exhausting, hence their need to go in their hermit's cave to recharge. Anyway, back to the movie... Overall I feel it's a good movie but sorta get the feeling of lack flow to it, sorta like the "Zap", suddenly they best frens. "Zap", he has a girlfren... "Zap" he's groping hermoine emma watson's boobs... The movie does remind me of American Beauty in the array of elements the movie tries to display as American culture. While not as sarcastic funny like American Beauty, it does convey a rather darker tone in the story. I like the description "Coming to age" movie of a teenager to life. Main problem I feel for this movie is a lot of the themes such as love, self appreciation, being different, etc which is the core of the story is perhaps better suited to be read instead of seen. When u read, u can stop and ponder about it but when ur watching, it like a non stop stream of things go thru ur brain non stop and u don't have time to properly process it. Still I highly recommend this movie, or better still go instead buy the damn book, it's available at MPH or Borders at RM35.

So dear friend, while this most certainly is not the last blog entry of mine, I would like end this entry with another quote from the movie/book...

Emo @ Work

Dear bloggie,

The last few weeks been a f*cking hard week. Why? Mostly work issue... Having thrown my letter to management, a few days later, due to the number of people doing the same as well, the big boss of this department came down to try to come up with a win-win situation. After some interview and discussion with the all parties a compromise was reached... A few days later, a staff meeting was held with good news that they will compensate for the no bonus this year due to s/w sales no meeting it's mark by a salary increase adjustment to market price (Wat ever market price is).  A day later, 70-80% people retracted their resignation letter, word is management "shown" them their "adjustment". I however wasn't even offer such proposition (Well, it's not like I would retract even if they offer me it, but it sorta stabs a hole in my self confidence for my contributions to this company, not to mention my dumb thinking of accepting a below market price salary when I worked here).

Well, to make matters worst, I seem to come under the firing range of my superior lately as well. Call it f*ck luck, a bug of mine which I was fixing really made me tear my hair (yea, still got some hair left) due to some framework changes. To fix my bug, I had to comply with the changes in framework which resulted in a f*ckin mess. By complying to the framework "fix", I practically had 2 same bugs that show different outcome due to the older solution become backward incompatible due to the "fix". Today, they announce, they fixed the framework and we need to revert all the "fix". God knows, wat kinda behavior my 2 bugs are gonna display now.

Team planning, was put in cold storage... Fine with me, doing small story and fix bugs... Then got criticize for my bug which was a behavior not covered in my user story acceptance criteria. I recall getting this bug and a brief talk with the bug logger and my team lead gave me the behavior for that scenario. Explaining the fix to the team, my team lead "question" why the fix behave such way. I felt like giving a tie slap, but part of my mistake as I didn't cover my ass by adding a remark "Team lead confirmed behavior XXX" in the bug. Some of my colleague sympathized on my predicament came to my aid to defend my argument on my fix, but to no avail.

Then moving on to another bug, which they try to generate something and the system just ended the task without generating anything but no display any error message (Due to null pointer exception). I easily pint point the problem as the 2 peoples that "engineered" the whole process didn't even bother to assigning some values required for the generation. I felt like banging my head to the wall when I got rap for not having adding any validation to the generation. Some of u may probably think, "Yea, why didn't u add any validation". Call me to obsess with "whose responsibility" , but if u want something added in does it make sense to tell me you want it in to begin with especially when there's like a f*ckin prerequisite that states I can assume the damn user assign those values in the story. I recall being told validation not required when I did the code. Yes, yes... Stupid stupid me not to documenting down what was verbally told to me. Yet, again I foresee myself still getting rap even if I document it down as by "code ownership" argument, I should raise this lack of validation issue. Yes, we "own code"  here...

I get my arse f*cked during appraisal for being a damn code monkey, writing code based on acceptance criteria. Never thinking myself if the criteria make sense of not. Always expecting to be feed a IN and OUT scenario to validate my work, never thinking of my own scenario. So recently I log a bug (Yes, we developers are currently doubling as QAs as well) for a scenario that not covered in the acceptance criteria, I get the simple "that scenario not cover".

My morale is super low at the moment... Just hope to complete my remaining time in peace here.

PP

Dear bloggie,

Attended my PP class today. Man, oh man... I starting to doubt if I can be a instructor de...

My mind suddenly went blank during my turn to cue people to perform the exercise. The master instructor cue sounded so easy to say when he said it. But when my turn to cue, my instructors all jumble up each other. When to inhale, when to exhale, shoulder alignment, neck alignment, rib and ASIC connection... OMG WTF!!! Screw up 2/3 of my lab work which involve practice teaching.

Lucky, my instructor was there to guide me a bit on how to teach coz she know I have 0 experience in teaching. Main problem I feel is I hit the panic button when my turn to teach. If I kept my cool, I would probably have not done so bad.

Other than cueing, my brain is perhaps overloaded by the amount of theory information taught during today's class. I'm amazed by the theory part, as it seem the fundamentals are really deep. They build upon studies and basic behavior of our body and tie em up to build a strong argument on the 6 base principles that we should look out for when performing any pilates exercises.

Blown my brain off... I believe the only way I can improve my cue is to find some white rat to experiment on. Practice make perfect. Anyway, tis is all for this entry as I really tired due to almost 8 hour grind my brain and body today. Tomorrow got another 8 hour for this course, then a month before my Mat level 1 class. Ciao

Dear bloggie,

You know how much I missed saying the words "Dear bloggie"?

Anyway, been quite sometime since I last blog (Okok, it been almost 1 month +). Having the uninteresting, dull and boring life I have, a few small things occur during this small time period. Let's see...

Ended another chapter in "The Hobbit Loserrit"

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

My countdown officially started today yesterday. Decided it time to move on. Company is currently in a pretty big mess... But I already thought of leaving quite a long time ago de... Only 1 thing held me back... but guess it's time to let go of that one thing...

Lost of apple my eye
What can I say... with my "charisma" and "bright" personality, doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. I try to forget it, but a part of me refuses to do so... Stupid, immature, retarded? Lead me down the dark side of the force, it has... Maybe contributed to the above event... Or maybe prolonged the inevitable end of the chapter... I imagine it's like losing an eye. Hurts and you will always be reminded of the missing eye... It's up to one really how chooses to moan, grunt and agonize upon the lost eye or use the other eye to look forward.

Crouching swan, hidden rocker
Bad analogy I know, so sue me... Yes! Finally so much confusion on which "chew pai" (style/school/etc) I wanna waste my $$$ on, I finally settled on Wing Chun a school. Practiced a month+ at the studio and liked it better than the previous one, so I signup for the course. After a LONG 2 months wait, tada... Tis Saturday, my journey down the way of wuxia jedi @$$clown pilates begins... [Play Star Wars Empire theme here]

Running blues
My last run was the Centro run, which I had drag myself 1/2 way to the finish line. With the knee injury, have been taking a LONG break from running. Still run on the treadmill but for light cardio only, around 10-15 minutes only. Probably lost all my accumulated stamina... Not joining any runs this year anymore. Planning to return to running? Unsure... With all the weights and pilates training I been doing lately, I find it hard to slot in these runs without burning myself down. Probably start small with a 5K run which puts less stress on my leg and require less time in training.

Hulk up
I finally lifted my ban on 2 exercises that most deemed as "king of exercise", the deadlift n squats... I done body weight squat before but never deadlift but I avoid these 2 barbell version of these exercises cause I deem them too dangerous to do without a spotter. I understand these 2 exercises are GREAT exercises but only if done with correct form. Do wrongly and SNAP ur gonna break something... Anyway, I find barbell back squat pretty intense. I find myself quite "chuan" (exerted) after doing only 3 sets of these. And for deadlift, my 1st few sessions of deadlift reveal my weakness in lower back as it would round when performing this exercise (due to insufficient lower back strength and technique). So I drop the deadlift for a few session to focus on lower back exercises like back extension and good morning for technique. To my amazement, I was able to perform a decent light weight deadlift after that... Still a long way before I can really start piling up the weights for these 2 exercises.

So that's all I have to grunt about for this entry... Hopefully it won't be another 1 month+ for the next entry...

Right or Wrong?

Dear bloggie,

"Your task can't be consider complete since there are some gaps to it. Your delay will result in the team schedule to be late and the whole team will susah".

These words make me "snapped" today...

If one's s/w requirement is incomplete or missing some loose ends, whose fault izt when ur final product doesn't include this feature? The developer? The person who defines the requirements? Or the team?

Or maybe it's just me... I dunno anymore... I just don't feel like doing it anymore. No longer know how to do programming anymore. Let me be the 1st to admit my flaws: lone ranger, don't talk much, slacker, not interested in bombastic business flows (why do u even think I go into IT instead of business for?), not interested in geek gadgets, not interested in if Netbean is way better than Eclipse or vice versa. My interest in IT, let me say it straight and plainly, IS DEAD. I doing it as a job to earn my bread and butter, not cause I enjoy doing it. I have long stopped enjoying it...

But I always prided myself as the programmer that can get things done at the promise time, tell me u want input A and output B, I may not be able to give u the best solution but I will come up with a working one within the timeline.... but when ur superior ignores ur effort by saying the whole thing is not working (it's not not working, just need do a workaround to work) because of a gap, I start to ponder... Izt me or the other side that is wrong. A constant problem I been having with my superior is where is the line drawn for a feature? I favor the black and white way cause I think it's the only sane way to draw a line on what should be delivered and what shouldn't. When people use words like "expect u to know", I'm often find it hard to gauge the level of coverage these people "expect u to know". I can write a simple requirement for u to write a webpage that count 2 numbers the user inputted, can I use the word "expect u to know" to justified that the UI should look like a calculator, uses https, be color friendly to color blind people, etc when evaluating the webpage?

Imagine a single working sample of how to generate the content of the table as your acceptance criteria. So who should I go to clarify where goes to where in the table for other scenarios? Is it my responsibilities to document these scenarios? And to think of negative test cases when in fact during planning, all that was discuss was the happy scenarios? And do I have to correct the wrong stated outputs for the scenarios? When I bark, I get shot saying it's a team effort, so why am I so particular about whose responsibilities izt to do these things? Why can't I bark when I'm getting barked at on this to begin with?

The thing that I probably can't tolerate the most is the part "my gap is causing the whole team to fall behind the schedule." A feature that probably takes 2-3 days that was totally missed out by the PO, team lead, programmer (me) and QA is resulting in the whole schedule to fall behind so much? When things like requirement changes to add feature "A" in, removing it after a few sprints later and after another few sprints adding it back again, is happening over and over again makes it hard for me to comprehend. Anyway, isn't scrum an iterative process? ie: Missed something? No worries, next sprint add it. Is that not the reason why scum sprints are short in nature? Cause it recognize one is bound to missed something or have a gap?

Probably the funniest part which I do admit I'm guilty off, is my facebook gaming in office. Yea, I tetris battle during 12-2pm. I know it's my fault, but I find it rather funny and amusing that some people can play wii or pool within the same period and yet have no one complain about it.

Fun weekend

Dear bloggie,

Been quite a fun weekend tis week...

Let's see, 1st I had my co. dinner on Friday nite. Was held at Sunway hotel n spa. The dinner was pretty good I have to say. Also the main entertainment for the co. dinner was the stupid gangnam dance. Everyone was invited to dance in front of the dance floor. Was hoping to be lucky the 3rd time, but sadly won nothing at the lucky draw. Said something I shouldn't have said during the dinner also, really regret it now.

Next morning drag my @rse up early morning to go to Bangsar for my pilates class. Another class where I totally felt like a n00b cause the instructor would keep correcting my alignment. I thought I was pretty good but now I dunno if I got what it takes to be a pilates instructor. I mean, really... it's an eye opening experience. I thought as long as u get the exercise to look same as the instructor form consider doing it correct de, but there's so much more to it, the alignment, the muscle firing, which part should remain stagnant, etc...

After the class, went to 1U to catch the japanese film festival by GSC. Sadly the earliest show was at 5pm. I was there at 10am, so damn tiu. Eat subway then bla. Spend the remaining of the day paying my sleep debt and watching the old jdrama "Boss".

Woke up on sunday morning with happy mood since Monday is after all another rest day. Also cause I signup for a free pilates class. Decided to watch my "Boss" marathon till the next thing I knew, already 12.45pm O_O'. The class starts at 1.30pm, so I did an amazing car fly from Klang to Jayaone in under 30 minutes record time! Rush into the studio at 1.35pm, lucky still not yet start coz some student still not yet arrive... Was expecting my prev instructor to teach the class one, mana tau is boss of the studio teach. Sadly I'm the onli male in the class, and sadder is all boh leng lui one. I think since most students are new to pilates, the instructor decided to teach more basics pilates exercises, which was awesome even to someone like me that been practicing pilates for 2-3 years de. I receive quite alot correction from the instructor. In reality it's a good thing to be corrected, as that's the only was you can learn from u mistake (If ur pilates instructor isn't touching n correcting u, consider finding another instructor, with exception for huge group pilates class) but I feel more lacking then ever in terms of ability to be a pilates instructor. My wounded ego aside, I really enjoy this class even thought there isn't any BIG fancy pilates exercise as the instructor did a well job in cueing and correcting the students. Learn alot and have the urge to actually signup for this instructor class already but didn't due to war fund issue. Fitness 1st was already costing me a gud RM180 + RM140 from bangsar pilates studio. :(

Anyway, after the free class went to 1U again to try to catch a japanese film festival movie. Was lucky this time as managed to get it this time (Alot of ppl due to cheap ticket price, RM5 onli). However my seat was 2nd fronts rows seat... Watched the "Good Husband" and got a good soul cleaning. Almost paip bocor twice in the movie. Managed somehow to restrict myself from breaking down in tears. Before u call me a sissy, I heard quite a few guys sniffing too... Overall a good movie, got it's flaw but got some really great emotional scenes. If I haven't seen a bit of the spoiler, quite certain I will break down and cry de. Yea, it's that emotional... Yet again, I'm a sucker when it comes to sad movies...

Truth hurts

Dear bloggie,

Bloody company dinner was one I rather forget. Didn't win anything and sorta regret didn't skipping it.

Heaven under 1 workout

Dear bloggie,

Having endured some resistance workouts such as full body, 3 days split, 5 day split, upper and lower body split, etc... I come to tis point in my gyming career where I have to make a decision on what kinda body built I want to so I can adjust my workout to match my goals. When I started, I just wanted to pack some muscle to my boney body. Fast forward 3 years, I have gained a good 5kg weight gain and reduced my fat % by around 4%. Tis year, my gain plateau (0 gain) so it lead to me to reevaluate my workout. One factor that lead to my plateau I suspect is my social life "distraction". Other possible factor I can think is my no longer usage of protein powder. I might need to go back on my steroids, but we will see. Another possible cause is my training regime.

Quite recently, I been a fan of full body workout. Means, each session I workout my whole body. I would do my big 3 compounds: bench press, chin up and leg press then compliment it with others exercises. I suspect this full body workout doesn't stimulate my body enuff as compared to a split where I would focus on certain muscle group in a workout instead of the full body. So after some reading and thinking, I decided to come up with my own workout that incorporates my knowledge in resistance training. My ultimate goal is a workout that is "Jack of all trades, but master of none". I want to improve my muscle strength, mass and endurance. Now, training for strength, mass and endurance is slightly different in terms of reps we do each set. For strength 1-6 reps, mass 6+ to 12 and endurance 13+. I also hope to created a good ratio between muscles, meaning the opposing muscle are balanced or don't have a overpowering strength difference (ie: like tricep strength = bicep strength). Cardio is another element I hope to include in my workout.

So many elements, yet the question is how I can combine all this things into a workout? Typically, most people just bulk and cut (1 period gain muscle, another period cut fat) but I reject such approach as I'm not a fan of this approach. So, I decided to spend the next 3 months experimenting with my own designed workout to see if such feat is possible. Can I design a workout that gives me the best of 4 worlds? Heck is such thing even possible?

The Gift

Dear bloggie,

Another great one from the amazing Glen Hansard...



Awesome song, but the song lyrics abit too uplifting for me... "Strong enuff", "Don't give up", "Just try to understand"...

Anyway side note, today walked into a pilates class where the students were doing the teaching... Actually these students are preparing for their certification exam, hence the instructor gave them a chance to practice for the exam and I ended up as a guinea pig for them. Gives me a great insight of what to expect if I signup for the certification end of this year as well. Quite a eye opening experience since most of the time I'm used to seeing instructors giving cues in consistent, easy to understand and "almost" perfect manner in classes, I take it for granted it's a easy thing to do... Trust me, it ain't. The order of the cues, the on the spot adjustments, how to present it in a easy to understand manner visually & verbally... I already doubt if I can do it... And to think these batch probably have train for almost a year for this exam, sorta make me feel motivated... I mean, that what mastery of a specific skill is about. Slowly but with unwavering desire to improve one's skill. Some say "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." yet I argue how is one able to aim for the acme of one's skill if one is no willing to immersed one self in such insanity to begin with?

Work meanwhile is getting harder and harder to do. The moment I step foot into the office, the 1st thing in my mind is the 6 o'clock "sau kong" moment of the day. Even with tasks in my hand, I find it more and more difficult to pass time in my office. Dunno how long I can work in this field anymore... I'm ain't really team lead material, my skill ain't really "great" and my working experience already hit 5+ years landmark... Quite hard to land a job with as code monkey anymore.

As for social life, nothing significant happen cause I choose to. A ex work colleague tried to intro someone to me, but I decided to shun it and shove it away in a rather rude manner. My fren say my qualification so char yet so cheng... At reflection level, I realize what I'm doing is similar to how I was treated... Hence I'm conflicted...

My only sanctuary for comfort is the gym. When I burn, tear and break myself physically till all that occupies my mind is the the thought of how many reps I need to do left. Sorta like getting drunk feeling... Push abit too much I fear, as signs of overuse appearing... Wrists, ankles, shoulders feel like they might actually break into 2 pieces. I ponder wat kinda worst state I would be in if even gym is taken away from me one day... :(

Blade Runner

Dear bloggie,

"What does it mean to be human?"

That's the question that plays around my mind after watching tis ancient 80's movie staring Harrison Ford. Tis movie, is directed by the same dude that directed Alien and Prometheus. For a 80's film, the special effect is nothing short but amazing. While u dun get the same feel as Avatar world, but u definitely is transported into an futuristic urban planet earth. The worlds is vibrant, brought to live not by high tech cutting edge CGI but by amazing lightin, props and whacky costumed backdrop actors.

So what's the movie about? Here's the problem... What happens when we humans created another being that looks like us, thinks like us and can feel like us? How do we differentiate between us and them? Would "humanity" be something exclusive to us then?

Deckard(Harrison Ford) is a retired Blade Runner. A Blade runner is sorta of a special policeman that specializes in tracking and retiring Replicants. Replicants are man made robots that have the face of a human, thinking of human but lack the emotions of a human. Deckard been assigned the task to hunt a group of rogue Replicants. But how can one find these rogues replicants when it's so hard to differentiate between one and a normal human? Further complicating things, Deckard finds himself having affection for a pretty chick Replicant. The setting of the movie is noir style... low lighting and unbalanced composition (according to wiki) sorta like old skool detective storytelling style. One ponders about if humanity is about emotions, then should the Replicants that is potrayed throughout the movie with such strong emotions compared to the emotionally cold Deckard, can they considered as human? It is the climax near the near however that steals the show for me... When a Replicant that have killed so many and is about to Deckard but decides to save Deckards instead, if a being is capable to regret his action and attone for his past sin, is that not "humanity"?

The ending ends with a rather controversial note that fueled debates for decades. Is Deckard the Blade Runner that hunts and retire Replicant, a replicant himself? Amazing stuff really... This movie has actually achieved cult status and I'm not surprise really considering the extraordinary plot, awesome special effects, great cast of actors... Phenomenal...

Expendables 2

Dear bloggie,

Tata the Avengers... Hello to Expendables 2...

Went to watch tis movie with da monks. What I think about it?

Back in the days when movie heroes dun need gamma mutation, iron suit, super soldier serum, toy hammer to k*ck @$$... Heck, these "classics" just need "PLOT HOLE".

Trained soldiers armed with sub machine guns missing their aim, rockets keep hitting a few meters from their mark, evil baddies that prefer to rant their mouth on and on and on rather than killing their foes when it's a clear kill scenario, multiple heat shots... Welcome, ol skool action movies.

Actually, if I went to see this with expectation of today's modern action movie, I would probably use words like "Garbage", "WTF!?", "GODLIKE"... but I went in with the mindset of this movie being a parody to the 80/90's action movies. Hence ridiculously GODLIKE scene that if I would bash turn out quite funny as a parody. I mean take for instance the crazy assault scene, when 5-6 ah pek storm into the enemy base in their jeep. They like got invisible shield, coz so many ppl shooting at them yet no shot hit and all their shot head shots...

A nice mixture of action and humor but do note it's 18SG, ALOT of violent scenes... We practically have the whole gang of ah pek: Stallone, Jason Statham, Lundgren (Dunno who is tis classic), Jet Li, CHUCK NORRIS, Arnold, Bruce Willis... and even Van Damme as the baddie. The action scene are really way way ridiculous, like crash landing an airplane into enemy base, but not a scratch on any of the classics... -_-'

Overall a enjoyable movie if u treat it not a serious action movie but rather a tribute to old skool action movie. I however think even if treated as a serious modern action movie, it's still WAY more enjoyable than "Clash of Titan". A recommended watch.

Sueper Bro 69000

Dear bloggie,



Godlike lines:

Yeah. Yeah. No, Yeah!

It' will add 12 inches to ur d*ck. If ur gay, it will make u straight. If ur straight, it will make u into a rapist.

Buy 5, u get 1 Free... And if you buy 1, you get 5 free

Sushi Mushi Movie

Dear bloggie,

I decided to lighten up perhaps my blog post after the rather depressing flavor of my last post. So here's something light and more cherrier...

I seen alot of shit in japo movies... nohkan (Okiburito), train attendant (Railways), teacher (GTO), Grim Reaper (Accuracy of Death), Samurai (7 Samurai, Musashi, Love and Honour), running (Feel the wind), food (Shinya Shokudo, Chef of north pole), monster (Godzilla), ghosts (Ring), students killing each other (Battle Royale), detective (Mr Brain, BOSS, Galileo), mecha (Gundam, Macross), sentai (Kamen Riders, Super Sentai series, Gavan), Go (Hikaru No Go) and the list goes on...

But when I saw tis, I was totally blown away...



A movie on Sushi!!??? WTF!!??? Actually it's a documentary since Jiro and his hidden restaurant actually exists...



Amazing really... Some people dedicating their life to pursue "perfection" in something some simple (in terms of goal, I dun mean sushi making is easy k)... Hungry for some sushi de just by looking at the marinated sushi in vids, looks damn nice the shiny skin of sushi...

Self Reflection

Bloggie, bloggie on da web...

Who da heck is tis f*ckin bastard b*tchin in tis blog?

It strike me today, while I was driving home in my car a strange thought... Who really am I?

I ponder about the reality of being a human being living in the 21st century...

I ponder about the mask I have to wear...

I ponder about the real person tat is behind this mask...

It been so long since I forgotten Buddhism 8 path teachings,

Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration... Wow, How I fallen...

1. View
Do I have Xray vision to see behind a clothes? Nope.
Do I have the wisdom of Gandalf the Grey? Nope.
Do I sing like Bilbo Baggins? Nope. Ooppss this probably belong in Speech category
Do I view this world in binary codes like Neo? Nope.
Do I know to view a pretty chick when I see one? Uhhh, yes...
Do I know life is suffering? yes.
Do I know things is impermanent? Yes.
Do I understand life? No...

2. Intention
To rate something, one need to understand wtf is something 1st. So what is good intention?
Resistance to the pull of desire
Resistance to feelings of anger and aversion
Not to think or act cruelly, violently, or aggressively, and to develop compassion.
Hahaha... I guess if bad is the total opposite of good, I'm definitely can be consider to have bad intention.

3. Speech
Do I lie, yes.
Do chiung sui (sing bad @ backstab or gossip) people, yes.
Do I hurt people with words, yes.
Do I talk speak the truth, friendly, warm and gentle only when I'm forced to, yes...
I ponder how someone that prefers to keep my golden mouth shut can fail so miserably here.

4. Action
Sometimes I harm others, sometimes I taken what is not given to me, sometimes I have sexual misconducts (Common, U think I'm gay meh!?)...
Sometimes I have been kind to others, sometimes I respect other belongings, sometimes I keep sexual relationship harmless to others...
Sometimes I wonder what being sometimes in all these things put me in a karma meter?

5. Livelihood
Do I earn my bread and butter by sinning to others? I dunno. Yes and no? Am I bringing misfortune to someone else by writing my sh*tty piece of code? Yes. My MLM freelance job, I can probably be consider as a firearm dealer, providing a means for MLM companies to bring misfortune to someone. But really, who doesn't harm others to survive? A monk? Does a monk need to eat too? True, a monk eat vegetables, but isn't a plant a living being too? Hell, even if it isn't, is not a plant home to other small insects and etc. U harvest the plant, u destroy the home of these living being noes? Bring misfortunes to other noes in a way? I guess it depends on how deep u wanna traverse the cause and effect tree.

6. Effort
Have I done any effort to promote/practice the teaching above? Definitely no.

7. Mindfulness
Is my mind present, open, quiet, and alert, contemplating the present event? No, my f*ckin mind is f*ckin LOST somewhere. In the past? In the future? In the fantasy world? I dunno...

8. Concentration
Can I focus, unified and direct my mind to a single object/objective? No, my train of thoughts is often scattered here and there. Heck, u just need read tis blog entry to know how far my original intention to b*tch bout how f*ckin f*cked up I am which somehow degenerated into a reflection of myself from the angle of 8 Miracle Steps of Buddha.

Amazing really how I forgotten about these Buddhism sh*t due to the passage of time. I mean, it's just been a f*ckin 5 years. 5 years and honestly I can't believe I'm actually way worst off from back then. Sure, I'm no where near good in all 8 paths back then, but I had emptiness and detachment sorta prevents me from doing some of the many sins in the list above. I guess the "distractions" pass these few years have changed me... Maybe not for the better but I'm perhaps happy somehow, I'm not a rock stuck in a river, moving nowhere.

Batman: Arkham City

Dear bloggie,



The ending credits for Batman Arkham City, Joker singing "Only You" to Batman. Needless to say, this sick demented creepy version of this song sums up the game entirely... "EPIC"

"Arkham City" is a hybrid action + some RPG elements game. Overall, probably the best game I played in a very very long time. Arkham City takes place after the events of Arkham Asylum. Arkham Asylum having been reduced to a chaotic mess by the Joker leads to the creation of Arkham City, a small confined city within Gotham which serves as a prison for criminals. The story starts with Bruce Wayne holding a press conference to rally his cause to shut down Arkham City. Thing quickly turn into chaos when a Tyger (Sorta like guns for hire that guard Arkham City) squad crash the party and kidnaps Bruce. We then are introduce to the guy in charge of this prison, Dr Hugo Strange. A bit of blackmail, pickpocket and Bruce ends up thrown into Arkham City. We then have this c00l scene where Bruce kick's Penguin + Grunts @$$ before donning the cowl and cape...

Battle system is cool. Batman really have some slick fighting moves, combined that with the array of gadgets that he can utilizes during a fight (Batarang, Batclaw, Freeze bomb, etc...), one has to marvel at the fight scenes. However a problem I feel on the battle system is can feel quite repetitive after some time. Typically, a normal grunts hardly can pose a threat even when they outnumber you 20 to 1. But later in the game, these thugs are powered up by knifes, sub machine guns and sniper guns which can be lethal if you don't take out these weaponized thugs as fast as possible. As for boss fights, most of them can be beaten only by a specific way (take out generator, shoot em using electric gun, etc). The game also has some RPG elements, where when you level up, u can unlock some upgrades for Batman and Catwoman. Things like armour, special gadget moves, special combat moves...

As for playable characters, you actually get to play 2 characters... Batman and Catwoman. U get to play Catwoman in 3-4 stages, which is nice since it provides a short time out from the cliff hanger stage endings. Catwoman playing style is also different from Batman, as she is more agile but has less HP + armour and have a different set of gadgets + skills. To add dimension to the game, Batman has this detective mode that grants you x ray vision to see enemies in the dark and behind walls. This mode is essential especially after the thugs gains powerful weapons upgrades which can be suicidal to try to take em out by brute force. Instead, u have a better chance by doing backstab special moves which take these enemies down with 1 blow and without alerting other enemies of ur presence. This vision also allows you to identify the weopon you enemy is carrying and heart rate (alert level).

The whole city is actually you play area with is quite huge. The feeling of gliding down a building as Batman is awesomely portray in this game. Most of the game's main quest stages take place in specific building but there are some sub quest splatter across the city. Most notable subquest is the Riddler's subquest where this nutcase put "?" trophy across the city and you need to collect enuff of them to receive a riddle which would lead you to some twisted game against the Riddler with the lives of some hostages at stake.

Besides Batman and Catwoman, we also have tons of famous villains like 2 Face, Penguin, Joker, Dr Freeze, Bane, Ivy, Ras Alghul, Deadshot... The dynamics of the characters are also awesome as a struggle of power is going on between 2 Face, Penguin and Joker for turf control in Arkham City. Each fraction is trying to screw the other. The best part of the game is without a doubt the dynamics between Batman and Joker. Unstoppable object collides with unmovable object.

While the Dark Knight movie, Joker is portray as a agent of chaos, the Joker here is portray on a another angle. A criminal maniac that intelligence is between the thin line of genius and insane nutcase. The Joker outsmart and outwit the World's Greatest Detective for most of the game. At a part of the game, Batman gains access of The Joker's contact. From here on, the Joker would send miscalls with some really hilarious + sickening messages like the one on the video above. Batman meanwhile is portray as a character with unbreakable willpower. Serving and taking beating against an array of powerful villains. His costume that at the start of the game was brand new but was in patches really gives u a rough idea of the amount of beating he endured through the game.

The shortcoming of this game is perhaps the relatively short main quest. Also some game stopper bugs which IS REALLY FRUSTRATING. Some fix requires shoving down the game graphic setting to need manually delete from movie files so the game to proceed. I ponder how these bugs got pass their QAs.

Anyway, I'll end this rant with a short and simple ending rant: Great game, get up ur arse n go play it!

Bread healthy?

Dear bloggie,

HAHAHAHA...



Shuryuken... Diu...

Unregretabble Regret

Dear bloggie,

After some word of wisdom from some of my gym's pilates instructors, I decided do a more proper research. Trying other brands of pilates before committing to one. Of course that means skipping the course next week that I been looking so forward to. I was teetering back and forth on what I should do, skip it and do a proper research or jump in head first. I was so tempted to do the latter, but having done some bad decisions in life because I applied a "tak kisah, cincai la" attitude, I choose the former. Hard decision, especially from all the contradicting advises I got from my frens. Some say to do the nike thingy "Just do it", others say "Try to do the 1st time right". In the end of the day it comes down to "getting a taste of other brands" that lead me to my decision. I don't want to regret of not trying out other brands before committing especially when I have the option to do so. Hence my decision... All the excitement and happy feeling all vanish yesterday, the moment I clicked the "send" button to notify I won't be signing up for the course this time around.

Anyway, today I decided to make good of the time I gained at the expense of all the self-disappointment. Tried out a other brand class at bangsar. After that class, I think I did the right decision. I was fortunate enuff to jumped into a class where the students are instructors in training. So the class is actually a prep class for them to do their exam early next year. Got a nice taste of what to expect if I join their course. My conception of a good instructor is one that utilizes the 3 sense of the students which are see, listen and touch. Verbal(give keyword to activate muscle or etc) and visual(demo exercise) cues are quite commonly use. Today I have a taste of extensive use of touch cue. I struggle at a intermediate basic level class. The instructor had to correct me alot of times to get the alignment correct. Very very picky, won't let me escape with some minor wrong alignments. After class, did the customer relationship thingy, try to give me as much info. on their course. I'm seriously considering their course as a valid option based on their information but will tryout more classes before deciding.

Will continue my hunt for other available brands and get a taste of their flavor. Too long have I been cinca la... Tis 1 time, I will raise from my grave of apathy to do tis one thing...

Money, Dreams, Failure and Depression

Dear bloggie,

Got rapped by my "elders" when they discovered I'm spending 5K for pilates instructor course... Not unexpected really... Always talk c0ck to other bout when "money get de, if not spend is do wat with it", but when I spend my dough kena tembak... 5K!!! Wat kinda gym need so much $$$!!!? Tis not aided by the some quite old debts and investments tat still no returns...

Really overspend last month... Tried to do too much things in one month. Pilates class at 2 studios, SG trip and pre requisite pilates instructor course... Really bad timing... *Sigh* Suddenly the whole idea of getting myself certified seems like a folly idea. Chasing a dream? If I fail, it will be like dumping the $$$ into the sea.

I ponder how those that took the certification feel when they forked up that amount to take the chance to chase a dream? No pain, no gain... But life isn't a fairy tale... Not everyone will achieve their dreams... Some people are just destined to fall (like tis monk)... I like to believe that I come to tis junction, this choice, this point in life by fate... Should I take this leap of faith? Why do I already see myself failing the exam before I even taken the course? Yet if I don't do this tis time, I feel like I might not have the chance to do it again.

Some will call me a "loser", cause I'm so afraid of losing that I don't even try... But being burnt so many times for trying to achieve something, I have to say sometimes it's better to have no dream at all then to see your dreams crash and burnt in spectacular fireworks manner...

This year haven't been the best for me, no bonus, no gal, no muscle gain, depressed work environment, broken self principle, injured leg, weakened shoulder, high blood problem... Sort of makes me wonder, what disaster awaits me in this so called bad year for "Doggies" like me. I'm probably at my lowest point in morale this whole year around. I thought I hit rock bottom last year when my idiotic attempts to find a mate ends with me getting road kill in a one way road... Hahaha... Didn't knew that seeing someone you like with someone else is worst.

Already a walking pile of failure, depression and gloom, rarely is there something that makes me feel alive anymore now days and I'm thankful that I have pilates to counter some of the negative thing inside of me. But should I fail, I fear my passion for it would turn into hatred and sadness, hence I might end up going for pilates anymore. Desire = Suffering they say. I really dunno if I can pick myself up again if I fall chasing this dream. Or maybe it's just me... A spineless and low EQ loser...

"Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up" - Alfred, Batman Begins

An August

Dear bloggie,

Gonna be quite a "busy" month...

Attended my 1st prerequisite class for pilates instructor course today.

Feel so old when I step into tis class. Why? It been almost YEARS since I last attended any learning class or etc (with exception of IBM's WCM which might I add IBM WCM SUX!). Wat workshop I attended? "Review of the Human anatomy" Funny noes? The IT Nerd learning not about cool computer gadget but the human body? Kinda ironic from my point of view... Yet again life is one big contradiction.

Anyway, quite small workshop with just 4 students (including me) and 1 instructor (+1 chick to demo the exercise). Sadly all gal except me, sorta make me wonder why so little men do pilates. Actually I feel compare to yoga, even less men willing to join pilates. Dunno why, I mean if one were to compare "pilates" to "yoga", the word pilates sounds more "manly" no? So why men willing more to join yoga then pilates is beyond my understanding. If compare exercise wise, I feel pilates is more "strength" in most exercises than yoga. Should be easier for men noes since men is typically strength while women is flexibility?

Cummin back from my stray rant... Yea, I was overwhelm by the information shoved in my mouth (and ears) in this workshop. You can say I have some basic muscle (pec, bicep, tricep, etc) knowledge having done resistance training but today workshop is another whole different level. Bones, Joints, Muscle... The scientific names alone is a handful for an absent minded klutz like me, then the theory of how these elements come together to make a movement... HOLY SH*T!!!! But as the saying "To shut of a pain at wound at a body part, inflict a even greater wound at another body part." Having endured some of the "complicated" workflow at work a few weeks ago, this is nothing much la. At least tis is something that everyone has and won't change after a few months (or weeks). Course Workshop mates: 1 from Philippines and 2 others from Sabah (If I didn't hear wrong la).

The joints and muscles information are explain using the bone, so the 1st thing we learn is the fundamental of the human bones (Actually 2nd thing, since 1st we learn how to view human body from "3D" angles and which is sagittal, transverse & coronal planes -_-' Yea, I know, barely started but sweating already). So we learn the grouping of bones, and the components of those grouping. And then followed by a in depth discussion on the component(or bones) itself. It's location, shape n why so oddly shaped the way it is one?

The bone lecture can say focus more on functional parts like ribcage, shoulder n etc which we used when making movements. I try my best to jot down interesting information that the instructor told (like our rib got 2 "floating" ribs bones (T11 and T12) that are useless where we can break em with no effect except the pain of breaking em) that usually I feel won't be so obviously written in document describing these bones. Very informative I feel the lecture but a bit too much for me to cramp in the short period of time. I hope I am able to capture the format of understanding then slowly relearn those bones in the similar format in the near future. After bones, it's the joints. The joints scientific names are quite funny in the sense it a combination of the bones name where it's located. Like for instance "Glenohumeral" joint is the joint between the glenoid fossa (shoulder socket) and humerus (bone where bicep n tricep is). And if ur wondering, ya I have to refer to my notes and google to write the last scientific fact above.

After all those boney lecture, then we learn on terminology of the movement of bone. Abduction, adduction, pronation, supination, blablabla... is wat... -_-". Next up is if I recall correctly is the muscles terminology. Wat is ago and anta, stabilizier and mobilizer. After that we learn the concept of isotonic, isometric, concentric and essentric.

Then came the most interesting part in my opinion for the whole workshop. Applying everything we learn from the start of the "LONG" lecture in the form of executing a few pilates exercises. I can see clearly now why it's advantageous to know the things from the lecture as the exercise description list out all the muscle involved, stabilizer, mobilizer and bones. From what I understand, we are suppose to focus on stabilizer muscles 1st to get a strong starting form before we use our mobilizer muscles to init the movement. Knowing what muscle is where helps as it's easier for us "consciously" to activate it when we do the exercise to achieve proper form.

Overall I feel I have learn something interesting from this workshop. But I feel I barely could remember 50% (exact info) of what I learnt today, which I think is ok since I think the purpose for this workshop (for me) is to get my hands dirty on human anatomy and as well as grab a rough structure on what I need to learn for the next 1-2 week before taking my course. I feel workshops should not be a conclusive kinda thing, but rather should serve as a guideline instead for us to know roughly what we need to brush up on after the workshop.

Tml, another exciting day. Another different workshop on "Postural Analysis". Heard of it but never seen how it's done before. Will be a very interesting cause I heard we will be touching each other (or ourself) to identify shortcomings in our body structure and posture. Wonder if I get to "touch" a chick tml (for educational purposes, Wahahaha)?

Share post: Here are some random pix of my day, today...

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Dear bloggie,

Here's the story in short:

1. Salmon fish need cold water to live
2. Yemen is Arab country
3. Arab countries have harsh weather and little water
4. Rich tycoon "Shiekh" from Yemen like salmon fishing
5. "Shiekh" want to introduce salmon fishing to his country.
6. "Shiekh" hires the aid of Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi Ewan Mcgregor

At 1st look, just by the title itself, it's easy to jump to the assumption that this movie is about "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen"... Well, it is about tat. But behind the story of another filthy rich "Shiekh" that decides to dump his unlimited moolah into something else beside buying a football club which is to introduce salmon fishing to his country... Lies a rather big fish tail... To believe... To go against the current... To take a leap of faith...

My comments are the tale itself has alot of potential. Especially the analogies hidden within the simple tale of one man effort to spread something he likes to his own people. Sadly, despite the rather great chemistry between Obi Wan and Emily Blunt, the movie's direction is perhaps abit lacking... which is such a pity, cause some scene really sparks some really awesome food for thoughts such as tis:



So what are my recommendation for this movie. Not the best movie, but a solid movie overall... Go catch this fishy tale on fishing!



#PS: I sorta gain a slight insight on why f*ckin filthy rich peoples like to buy football clubs. I mean, they already got the whole $$$ they ever need for their lifetime, so why buy a football club? Well, it's because of faith. They believe they can create a miracle, such as even a football club of the likes of Chelsea (HAHAHA!) can win the European cup kinda miracle.

Fear

Dear bloggie,

Do I have wat it takes to be a pilates instructor? Sometimes I feel confident, sometimes I feel so lacking, sometimes I feel so motivated... A complex flux of emotions coursing thru my mind...

My self confidence stems from my almost 2 years of practicing pilates... U do something long, u got some confidence. But lately, having been exposed to other parts of pilates especially exercises which uses props... I'm starting to have doubt. I been doing it for quite sometime, but doing it frequently doesn't mean I'm good at doing it. I fear I lack the level required to even enroll to be an instructor. A good teacher as they say is someone that knows what one is gonna teach, and a little bit more on what one is gonna teach. How can one teach something that I can't do to begin with? And there the soft skill part of being a instructor as well. The ability to "communicate" with clients. Not only instruction to do the exercise, but normal chit-chat with clients to market oneself as an instructor. Do I have these skills within me? I doubt it... Can I give instruction, Yes... Can I chit chat with strangers, as an introvert I dunno...

I realized my lackings to be an instructor but the real question perhaps that torment me is can I overcome this lackings. Someone once said to me "If you want to only start when your ready, then you will never start cause you can never be ready till you start". I'm trying to convince myself to take the 1st step... to start it... Only by starting it can I improve myself... But I fear the fall which looms within this path... Cause if I fall, I would have loss one of the few things which I deeply am passionate about...

Cheap bulkin

Dear bloggie,

How to eat to bulk up cheap...



Hahaha... I like his last advice...

~Feel

Dear bloggie,

"I sit and talk to god
And he just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language, I don't understand"

"I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either"



"There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand"

My feel right now...

Roll u tightness...

Dear bloggie,

I learn something new again in today's pilates class... Having taken pilates for almost 2+ years now, I thought I seen it all... Today I learn, one can never seen it all...

Today's class, our instructor decided to abandon our normal reformer class and do some foam roller exercises to correct some of our structural problems. So far, I always heard pilates can fix postural problem, but it seems some problem of our body is not cause by posture but rather by the structure of our body.

What's the difference of postural and structure? I also dunno... But here's my guess... Posture is how me move our body while structure is how our body is currently shaped. Eg: Posture = how we walk, how we stand, how we sit... how we use our current body I think is posture. Structure meanwhile I think is like how men have smaller hips than women's. Anyway, I need probably ask my instructor again on this to clarify this.

Back to main topic, our instructor seeing us doing the leg series of reformer with some odd behaviour on how we extend our knee (Some when extend, knee go out, knee go in, etc), decided to loosen up our lower body muscle with the aid of foam roller. What's a foam roller? Ini kat bawah is the toy:



I read before from somewhere that this foam roller is equivalent to a personal massager. U can do exercises on it that will have the effect of a massage. We done quite alot of massage on this roller, massage our IT band, quad (from 3 angles), hamstring and calf. Massaging using this roller was a PAINFUL experience especially for my quad and IT band. It's said we will feel more pain when rolling on this roller on muscles that we overwork. The effect of this roller is quite amazing, really... For me, I noticed less tension on my quads... My instructor said rolling my quads on this will help me to overcome a common men problem, to sit 90 degrees on the floor with leg straight. I tried it out, and can feel less tension on my quads. As for hamstring and calf, not much pain as the instructor say, we often stretch those muscle in yoga so no problem. However in yoga, we don't stretch our IT band and quad enuff... I think we can use this roller to massage almost "any" part of our body, Hahahaha...

On a side note, I probably over exercise this weekend. Monday yoga, Wednesday pilates, Friday weights, Saturday Pilates and Sunday Pilates + Yoga. Feel really worn out... CB Monday is tml somemore... Sux! I however plan to imitate tis week, muscle burning schedule but Wed no pilates, so maybe I will go for Tues pilates at Puchong. It's really hard to fit weights and running into this schedule... If I do weights, my body will suffer a loss of strength when doing pilates... Add another cardio, I think my body will collapse.

Also another side note, had to meet up with the studio co-ordinator for my pre pilates workshop as she need me to sign some $$$ contract. 1 words 2 words: sibeh chun... Was blindsided for the moment, dunno wtf I sign also... >_<' Maybe tis is the studio strategy, send a leng lui to get ur sign so when horny old perverts like me see the leng lui, cincai sign without seeing/reading contract (eyes to busy seeing other thing). OMG, hope I didn't sign anything besides my workshop thingy...

Cold feet

Dear bloggie,

As I inquire/rnd more and more information on pilates certification (not to mention, signup for workshop on a moment of wimp of a maniac), the doubt in myself grows...

What if I just not gud enuff? Can I actually open my gold mouth to instruct!? Do I have enuff willpower to see tis to the end? Can I can resist "correcting" when teaching a babelicious chick?

It's hard to make a definite decision if I wan to do the course or not... Do I jump in head 1st or wait it out 3 months to built up confidence before sinking my teeth into it? >_<

Anyway, attended my 1st pilates class at the studio where I'll be doing my certification (if I decide to do it)... Quite small studio, is modify from shop lot one. Basic things are there... Washroom, shower room, locker, changing room, pantry... 1st class, 3 students onli (Including me), 2 batang & 1 lubang... The instructor did a 1/2 normal mat + 1/2 fitball in class today. Incase u wondering wtf is a fitball, this below is da fitball:



Do note it's fitball and not fitballs

So, my thoughts after my 1st class here...

Pros:
1. Class ok la. Instruction, cues, correction are there.

Cons:
1. 1 gal student onli, DIIIIIIUUUUUUUUU!!!
2. Abs still got gas in da tank
3. Quite normal class compared to my sifu's class (Lack distinct flavor my think, if tat make any sense. Sorta like a "special" thing in this class tat will make u remember tis class)
4. Parking RM4 for 1 hour+!!! Niaseng WTF!?
5. Very little people feel compared to gym

5 - 1... Hopefully next week some of cons will turn to pros... Mainly I not so like when too little people come workout. Too much also no fun, but 3 people really not so motivating (exception if 2 are f*ckin hot babes)... Since 1st class and 2 are newcomer (including me) so instructor didn't really push yet, next week or following hopefully start cracking the whip..

Badman

Dear bloggie,

Wunda chair

Dear bloggie,

Harry Potter have the sorting hat to tell which house he belong to,
Snow White's wicked step mother have the magic mirror to tell who's the prettiest,
Neo had the Oracle to tell him he's NOT the choose one,
I had a wunda chair to tell me where my muscle imbalance was...

Went to my 2nd reformer class today... Sadly, onli 2 ppl (including me) today.

So the instructor asked if wanna play other pilates toy today... Seems like can sometimes swap equipment to play one instead of play the reformer everytime. 2 people can play wunda chair or ladder barrel, 4 people can play Cadillac... Tis time, we get to play the Wunda chair...

To be frank, the wunda chair is perhaps the pilates equipment that I' most curious on. Why? Cause I wondering how a damn chair can be used to do pilates exercises. I was thinking maybe something like tis:



Hahaha... Sadly not like the vid exercise one :(

But how does a "real" wunda chair look like u ask? Like tis loh:



Tis toy actually was originally made from a chair by Joseph Pilates (Founder/Inventor of Pilates) and can actually double duty as a pilates equipment and a real chair. Anyway, what so c00l about tis chair? Well, for starters it allows us to do the same exercise done in the reformer. The only difference is it allows you to also find some imbalance that you normally can't see so clearly on a reformer.

What I mean? Well, for instance the leg extend exercise (Extends leg then bring back leg so hip 90 degrees to floor), when I do on reformer, I could do with no problem but when I do on the chair, it seems I have problem with the concentric part of the movement (ie: The bring back leg part). Also the leg pedal which gives spring resistance when you extend you leg for the chair can be separated. This means, instead of pushing one pedal with 2 legs, you're pushing 2 pedals with a leg on each. It's like bench press vs dumbbell press. What da difference you ask? Well, if you do bench, one common problem is one usually compensate strength with their more dominant arm. Say I bench press 40kg but in reality, my right hand is actually doing maybe 22.5kg while my left onli doing 17.5kg (Usually can see by when someone press the bar up, if got imbalance one side will go up first one). But if you do with dumbbell, since your right hand can't help you left hand, both are doing the same weight. So understand the logic here? Since I can't really sync both legs when I do the concentric part of the exercise hence got muscle imbalance.

Also another exercise, dips on the chair reveal another problem for me. My dips was like my leg, can't sync. Then the instructor told us to do child pose on the chair, which he saw from afar my middle back muscle was unbalance. He told me that my left middle back muscle was stronger (Wish I could see how to tell from look which muscle is stronger, bigger bulge maybe?) which result in me having more balance in exercises which uses my right arm. Not this is a rather odd thing since how come middle left muscle stronger but when do right arm exercise more stable, shouldn't it be left arm more balance meh? So, the instructor told me (well, from what I interpret la) the back muscle when used to balance will fire in a cross pattern one. Means if I use right arm, my left lower back will link to my right shoulder to fire one. So my right lower back weaker than my left, so when link to my left shoulder results in my left arm exercise not so stable. Interesting noes? The human anatomy...

Anyway, today class was more interesting than last weeks cause 2 people onli... Common pay for group but get duet class, damn tai mah... Got tis urge to get the wunda chair to play at home but from the price I checked f*ckin expensive sh*t... Probably 3K above... CB, one chair also so expensive... Tiu...

Side note, I went to checkout the other pilates center where I will be doing my prerequisite workshop (Decided to do workshop 1st then do course in November)... At Jalan Batai in Damansara Heights. F*ckin hard to find without GPS. I found Jalan Batai quite easily but couldn't find the studio cause all I see is housing area onli. Tiu, after rounding and rounding in the housing area... tulan de went exit onli saw a few shop lots inside a parking lot area (WTF! The shop lot IS inside the parking lot)... Went in, saw the sign... I think around 20 minutes drive from Midvalley, just use Jalan maarof till see Bukit Damansara then follow the damn sign boards. Parking Rm 1 after 6pm, but traffic dunno how cause need pass Bangsar area... Still undecided if wanna go mat class there to train.

Decisions decisions...

Dear bloggie,

Yikes... I initially wanted to go for certification for pilates but it seems the path to a damn cert is not so straight forward... :(

I was advised to go for the IMP (Intense Mat Plus) certification 1st, but since I pretty much have 0 experience in teaching any fitness/movement, I need to meet some prerequisite for this course. Have to attend 2 workshop to learn some theory thingy, I suspect is to learn biology (human body, muscle, etc) and posture stuff. Another requirement is 30+ hours of pilates class, I probably attended 2 years = 2 x 4 x 12 = 90+ classes. But was advise to perhaps go for some classes at the center as the center instructor are have this cert so can roughly know what to expect (Not to mention, probably to assess my skill cukup makan to get the cert).

Problem is, I already signup for reformer classes in another pilates studio. Plus my fitness first gym membership, I dun think I can afford to signup for this as well. Besides this studio is in Bukit Damansara... :(

So I have to make some decisions... If I want to do this, I must be really committed to see it go thru. Won't be a easy process I predict, traveling up and down to the studio, studying for the workshop/course and $$$ (really need to monk up to save expenses)...

The workshop is on 3-4 August, and the course is on the 21-24 and 27-30 August. Probably need to fork out around 6K... >_< My plan for the moment is probably to take the workshop and do the classes 1st. The certification probably I need to take the next one, which I think is on November. I think I need to build some confidence before going for the big one... As for cost, probably need to stop my current pilates studio after it's finish to fund attending the class there instead...

Damn fag mafan... Even my collegue degree not tis complicated...

But as usual, the 1st step is always the hardest...

The Lonely man

Dear bloggie,

A searching on how to spell "Jekyll" for my last blog entry lead me to wiki where it linked to "The Hulk" where it lead to this...



Yea, the ending theme song for the tv series The Incredible Hulk in the 80's. I can still remember this song cause of the sad and lonely feel it conveys... Recall watching this sh*t with my aunty when I was VERY young, I think there was some crossover which feature Thor and the Daredevil with da hulk... Probably scene that I recall most was the death of the hulk where the hulk fell from a aeroplane in the sky and actually died!? The last conversation that banner mutter to a chick was like:

Chick: We could blablabla be together blablabla and free...
Banner: I'm free... [karput]
[Depressing music starts playing. The whole scene is dark nite with exception of a helicopter light flashing on the fragile body/corpse of Banner, while the camera slowly zooms away]

Sort left an impression on me that scene...



Just skip to 1:44... Quite bad vid but can't find any other in youtube.

The Amazingly Annoying Amazing Review on The Amazing Spiderman

Dear bloggie,

Ok, forked up an AMAZING Rm17 to watch this on 3D... AMAZING Mixed bag of emotions on this movie...

Here are my AMAZING thoughts on it. (I do con 1st then pro since most people do the opposite which can be so AMAZING boring)

Cons:

• The Lizard/Dr Connor/Cicakman is too 2D. Lack motivation and conviction (Unless u count want to achieve perfection as one). I would have prefer they stick to the original character bio, where it was more like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde kind of persona, while would be less original but at least the character will have different angle to flesh. Wouldn't hurt to bring in the Dr Connor's wife and son into the picture as well (but yet again it might confuse the whole plot). And the lizard head just can't accept la... Really look's like lizard with a d*ckhead.
• Story flow not smooth. Probably just me, but I feel some transition of scenes abit akward. Especially the scene where Uncle Ben gets offed. Feel's a bit too forced that scene.
• Spider suit. The mask's neck part too loose? Looks so not spiderman when he was sitting atop a high building and looking down with a big bulge in the neck.
• Parker the genius? Yeah, yeah, they put scene where he could understand the decay formulae and he make the web slinger... But did they make him look like a science genius in school? Nay...
• F*ckin injury near final fight scene. I wished they would just allow Spidey to go full strength against the lizard for the epic battle instead of a limping Spidey that leg injury suddenly healed while fighting the lizard. Epic battle = both sides at full strength!

Pros:

• Fight scene way way better than Spiderman 3. Love some scene where lizard and spidey fought crawling up and down. Also Spidey utilizes his web shots and brains more, which is usually how the comic Spidey fights.
• Darker story feel. No "Aunt May, is she an angel?" crapz.
• Decent acting from Andrew and Emma. Yes! Sorry, Tobey looks too much like Jay Chou, and Kirsten's too fat as MJ...
• Spidey makes joke. Ok, this is a hit and miss afair. Some jokes are ok, while other are lame.
• Spider suit. Ok, I know I b*tch bout tis being a con, but not all thing are black or white noes? I like how they revamp it to the less bulky built to the more long and slimmer built.

Overall, ok movie... I sorta feel it's similar like Batman begins. A ok reboot, but not AMAZING... The fight scene are great/AMAZING but the movie mainly suffers from the lack of decent/AMAZING villain. If I were to compare, I would say this movie beats Spiderman 1 and 3 but falls short to Spiderman 2 (mainly due to the solid/AMAZING performance of Dr Oct). The Amazing Spiderman 2, will I go see it in a few more year time? Yes... but will I pay for 3D... Nay

Did I AMAZINGly annoyed you with the overusage of AMAZING in this AMAZING review on The AMAZING Spiderman? I sure hope the answer is an AMAZING Yes... LOL

Lost Lamb

Dear bloggie,



One of my favourite's "Gundam" song... Love the violin and haunting vocals. Give u a feel of sorrow, helplessness, empathy, hopefulness, missing someone and walking away from everything... Or maybe I'm just echoing what I feel inside into this song...

Bewarn: Super emo post from here one, stop reading if u dun wanna risk to be infected by my emo, depressed, nihilistic ranting...

I can't believe I'm actually taking an EL just to blog... But I feel drained, unable to operate as my brain just can't boot up from safe mode (Yet again maybe I can... cause I operate without my brain to begin with).

It's hard, really hard... This rot/disease/decay in my body, mind and soul... The thought of suicide actually flashed across my mind, to take a blind leap of faith from the ledge of a mall into the cold icy earth a couple of days ago... To put an end to this pathetic excuse of what I call meaningless life. But as usual, fear and rational + logic keep me (and most people) at bay. I lost count of how many times this has occur, and frankly speaking am afraid one day, my other self... the maniacal Mr Hype [Insert darth vader laughing here] would suddenly popup at the wrong time and I would jump in head first like I'd done in somethings.

I like to fabricate this fake belief that if I was meant to kick the bucket, I would have been cremated a couple of year back already. Yet, the thought having being spared from dead for a meaning sort of losses it appeal or significance... Maybe I was spare not for something good but perhaps for something bad. Maybe in my previous life, I accumulated ALOT of bad karma... Hence I can't kick the bucket until I suffer enuff to clear this karma debt first. And there's always the belief that even if I die, I can't really escape this meaningless suffering, I would be reborn and suffer all over again (I'm a believer of reincarnation ok).

Most people would probably deem me as either mentally retarded @$$clown with nothing better to think or someone with a really loose screw up there... Personally, I view myself so too... I did this online Rorschach test, and the result was quite surprising...

Sickness Quotient: 69%
Hmmm, your "Sickness Quotient" of 69% is a little worriesome.

Interpersonal Insights
You never give up and refuse to settle for less than the best. In other words, you're impossible to please and you never shutup. You have delusions of adequacy which are completely unfounded. You couldn't pour tea out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.

Job Performance & Attitude
Your work is of so little value they should just put a shredder in place of your Out basket You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone.

Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "If you can’t make them think, make them wonder." Trust us- you've succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.

Now that I read this diagnosis, I think quite true cept the Personality Insight thingy which I have no f*ckin idea meaning is wat... So after a google:

"If you can’t make them think, make them wonder."
rephrased is
"If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullsh*t.
which is soooo "me"

Anyway, I think I ranted enuff to get some of this load of my chest/back/heart/etc... So here I am, sitting alone blogging as my onli means to express myself, wondering and b*tchin why my life sux so hard and yet the worst part is perhaps is despite knowing all that, I'm not lifting a finger to change any of that... I'm just here, like a stone... Remaining motionless/lifeless/stuck in this flowing river...

Physical Limit

Dear bloggie,

Tis morning, wake up at 5.30am+, then rush to Centro Klang to collect my bib and vest. At around 7am, start my 12K run. Arrive at finish line at 8am+... Decided to skip lucky draw and rush home to bath and prepare for my long journey. Around 9.30am, drove the whole way to Jaya One for my 1st Pilates Reformer class. Reach there at 10.30am... Too early due to no jam in Federal. *Sigh*

Went to the studio, door sign was "Open" but door was locked and no people in reception. So I wait awhile, then 2 gals also appear. They also like me, peek into the glass door see inside got people or not.. Then they press door bell at a side of the door tat I didn't see >_<. Then as I guessed, this class instructor is my 1st Pilates sifu appear from inside the back of the studio to open door. A class is in session it seems. He recognize me (Amazingly, since it been almost 1 year and u have to consider how many other students faces one will need to see)... He gave us a form to fill up and rushed back to his class. I fill the form and look around the receptionist area. Then sienz de seeing things like class schedule, price list, etc... Go sit beside the 2 gals. From slight chat, found out that these 2 gals also like me, 1st timer to this class. Class ended, and my sifu come to give us a crash course on the studio. Where locker, toilet, classroom... blablabla... Also shower, locker and changing room is unisex one... Toilet didn't go, but the changing room is no solid door one, just a curtain style one. The most interesting part of the studio however is open area, where got alot of pilates machine. Got a cadillac, 6 reformers (2 with extension parts to convert into a cadillac), 1 wunda chair, ??? ladder n barrel and alot of small pilates props on a huge cupboard (small fitball, cables, etc). Also got a huge machine, I dunno wat izt at the end of the room... My perception of this studio is quite small but cozy and equipped with alot of pilates equipments... Anyway, another 2 gal arrive and it seems tis session got only 5 students including me (well, got 6 reformers onli after all)... Since 1st class for 3 of us, the instructor give us a 101 on reformer... The adjustment to do before exercise and etc. I onli put into memory the 2 essential things of the reformer, the adjustment for the height and how to load/unload the spring cable. So start 1st class... Didn't do really a lot of exercises as still new to the reformer, so quite a lot of time spent on learning how to use it properly. Quite short, I feel since did not much exercise compared by Pilates class I normally attend. But I'm really have to say the machine really is to a great tool to perfect the exercises. It really make it easier to execute the exercise correctly (Note: Most exercises done on the machine can be done without it on a mat). Hence it really helps the exercise to isolate the part of the body it is meant to focus on. Do I enjoy the class... Of course! And with onli 5 students, the instructor was always walking around examining and correcting us on the spot so we correctly perform the exercise. I think I did most exercise ok, but my sifu told me I was wearing quite baggy clothes, hence it's hard for him to check if my posture is correct especially the spine, hips and etc. Class over, have to clean up the reformer with spray and cloth. Then sifu do his PR thing with the other 2 gals, talk bout the benefits of Pilates, etc...

So after class, I drive the way back to Klang since 2 other monk don't wanna go out lepak. Almost home, I decided to go for yoga class. Today class was "Hip Opener"... At the end of the class, while doing savasana... I actually dozed off... I only recall I heard the 1st bell (instructor will ring the bell 3 times as indicator for student to bring back awareness back into ur body) then the next thing I remember, was I wake up and see everyone already finish doing the bow to sifu. Dun think anyone noticed my sleeping... But the instructor said, hip opening are great for relaxing the body... and advisable to do before sleep as it will help u fall into sleep easier. So not really my fault I fall asleep...

So there u have it... I pushed my limit physically and mentally today. Quite depressing in some sense my Sunday is spend like tis but hey... beats slacking infront of the bloody computer surfing p0rn or etc...

Centro Run 2012

Dear bloggie,

Clocked 1 hour 10 mins... Hahaha, same time as my result 2010 :(

Dunno should feel happy or sad... Sad, cause lousy time, no improvement in 2 years... Happy, cause I managed to still clock tis time despite having a sh*tty knee pain after running for 20 minutes. Dun think tis is a common sore injury or etc, been having tis problem since last year EPIC Penang marathon. After 20 minutes, left knee will feel weak at one area... Then after 40+ minutes, the front knee also will have the gesar feel. Almost trip, when I landed on my left leg, but knee boh lat... Lucky, I managed to land my right leg fast enuff.

I'm quite happy with my 1st 4K time, around 21 minutes... Average 5+ minutes perKM, quite within my goal to achieve 5 min perKM pace. But when the knee suddenly went weak, I know I won't be able to sustain the pace. Change goal to finish in 1 hour minute, but EPIC failure... :(

[Will update later]

Cycle of life

Dear bloggie,

I have tis belief tat our life's journey goes in a circle... We will ultimately end at the start...

I signed up for Pilates reformer class last week... My 1st class will be tis Sunday, and it seems "cyclic", my instructor is my 1st Pilates instructor... Been almost 1 year since I last attended his class (which was cancel due to inconsistent no. of students)...

My fault

Dear bloggie,

I ponder, If I just blindly do a task by following the specified instructions... When the instructions are wrong... Izt the people who issue the instruction or my blind approach at fault?

It seems to keep happening to me. I won't deny, I have some fault in it due to my blind follow instruction approach... but the latest one... I emailed my question on the instruction to everyone and everyone even got the reply email on the issue... Yet in the end of the day, I'm singled out and blamed for blindly following the instruction...

I just can't take it anymore, I don't want to take it anymore... Why am I adding acceptance criteria for the user story as comments when it's the PO's job to do this in the first place. Why is my auto generation code blamed due to duplicate name object created when it's stated in the acceptance criteria validation checking is ommited and it's prerequisite for the user to setup a "clean" folder for this auto generation. Why am I dumped a last minute enhancement to change the wizard successful page into a status page when it's stated in the acceptance criteria, the wizard is to remain as it is? Why am I blamed for producing the output specified by the PO, even though the PO's output is wrong?