Top 8 Best 2014 Movies

Dear bloggie,

Yes, yes, yes... I completely forgotten to do this till I saw Jeremy Jahns doing it in his youtube channel.

So without further ado.... tis is MY top 8 best mobie list of 2014 which I watched... Yes, 8 not 10... Why? Why not...  Truth be told, cause I feel I missed a lot of good movie worthy to be in a top 10 list, so instead of forcing myself to put a movie I think that doesn't worth the gold top ten brass, I decided to just cut short 10 to 8 instead... it is after all my entry :)

1. The Journey - A Malaysian local film that finally manages to edge typical local block buster ciplak movie like KL Gangster, Lu Gua Bro, Jangan Pandang Belakang Boleh?
2. Interstellar - Great movie but sorry, this ain't Gravity.
3. John Wick - Despite the absurdity, this movie is a f*ckin good kill joyride
4. Edge of Tomorrow - Live, Die, Repeat... So Zen...
5. Fault in Our Stars - The few only movie that made me shed a tear...  Okay, a couple of tears... A movie resolving on death that is really about life. Mush a bit of tragedy, romance and philosophy, and you got yourself a piece of romantic masterpiece.
6. Frozen - The music was amazing, storyline was above average, characters colourful, ~let it go, let it go...
7. Guardian of the Galaxy - Best Marvel movie of the year. A fun ride from start to end.
8. The Lego Movie - Everything is awesome, this movie is perhaps the movie I underestimated the most and honestly was very delighted when it turn out to be a stellar gem.

Memorable mentions: How to Train your Dragon 2, X Men: Days of Future Past, The Wind Rises, In Between Floors

Movies that I think should be in the list but didn't watch: Boyhood, Gone Girl, Dawn of Planet of the Apes, Whiplash, Wild, Night crawler

Over Hyped: 300: Rise of an Empire, The Maze Runner, The Amazing Spiderman 2, The Hobbit: Battle of 5 Armies, The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay,

Shit + Gimme a refund list: Transformer 4, Teenage Mutant Nincompoop Turtle (Seriously, I'm putting Michael Bay into my blacklist)

2014 in retrospective

Dear bloggie,

I'll start this blog entry with a very cliché opening...

"What is the meaning of life"

I been asking this question for almost 1/2 of my life... It seems that every time I take a step forward in my quest to find an answer for this question, the answer would seem another 2 steps further away from me.

Life sometimes befuddles me... Sometimes it seems like a majestic piece of creation by god... at the same time sometimes it seems like a tornado of chaotic, meaningless, empty dark void pit.

I sit here now at the edge of the final eclipse of the year 2014, staring into the face of this strange yet familiar face in the mirror in front of me. I'm unable to tell apart the facial difference from a year ago with exception of less hair that grace this face now.

As MFR told me, 2014 been quite an eventful year for me. I kicked off this year at 1/2 way through my 5 months self imposed exile from the workforce from the previous year. I had to wait until March to start work as my new job only requires me to report in then. I then joined this good company which even gave me the opportunity to travel to the US for training.

I spent a month in the US, where within that 1 month I expanded my eyes to the vastness of the horizon in this world. I lived in this beautiful and serene city of Manassas. I also get to visit Washington DC, Skyline Drive (in Shenandoah Park), Luray Caverns, Baltimore, and even New York! Despite all the bad images and conception from media, tv and etc... I learnt that US is really a beautiful place to be. It was truly a memorable trip that will stay etched in my memory for a very long time, with exception of the tiring long 16+ hours flight time.

Work wise, nothing spectacular happening. I felt my growth in learning again stumped. Unlike my previous job which was fast pace and have a tight dateline which forced my skill to grow, the environment here at my new workplace is perhaps too relax to forced me to grow. I however as always fulfill my tasks which is required of me, which is something I take pride in... getting the job done. The lack of simulation to grow and stress of dealing with one of my colleague does arouse my desire to find a new job... but the scale between good and bad favours the good more hence I will remain where I am for now.

I also finally achieve my goal of hitting the 70 kg weight on the scale. The journey which began 5 years ago finally ended. I gained 10 kg across this 5 years, which I think is rather good. While I'm no Arnold Schwarzenegger, I feel I'm way more sturdier than I was 5 years ago. A end of one journey leads to the beginning of another one. My new goal is to lose fat while maintain muscle mass to stabilize at the 65 kg mark. It been a rather yo-yo battle as I gain and loss weight and currently weighting 68 kg.

Achievement wise, achieve nothing major. I did however won 2nd place for Male Top Scorer in a Inter Department Bowling competition in my company.

Not all is sunshine though, as my grandmother and grand aunty passed away. Somehow, I feel like a piece of me was forever lost. Despite my stance to distance myself from my relatives, I feel I am bonded to my relatives though a link which run deeper than blood.

As for my romance life, it's another dry run year for me. I think I'd finally recovered from the rejection that thrown my monkish life upside down. I felt some attraction to a few girls in my office, but as for trying to catch another fish, I think I will maintain my stance of not trying and let things be. MFR berated me for my lazy and cowardice approach but somehow a part of me already resigned to the fact I'm meant to live the rest of my life alone.

So to sum it all up, I would have to say 2014 is a pretty good year for me. Not so optimistic on 2015 being better or even able to equal this year. However that is another post for next year...

Merry Xmas

Dear bloggie,

I would like to wish everyone: couple or single, happy or sad, rich or poor, in love or out of love...

MERRY XMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR

Life is a roller coaster ride filled with both up and down, so for those that are now in a rut and hurting, remember the greatest strength in our human species doesn't lie in our capacity to think nor reason, but in our unlimited capacity to feel. So it's alright to feel pain, sorrow, loneliness, sadness... Cause it's that part of us that also allows us to feel joy, love, closeness, empathy... and as a whole what makes us what we are... human...

So cherish the good times, accept the bad times... and move forward knowing, it's what shapes us to who we are now...

May everyone's wish come true this Xmas or in the coming year... And if they don't, may you at least draw warmth from this Xmas festive spirit...

Sound of silence

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence

Yoga

Dear Emma,

During work today out of the blue, one of my colleague jabber on purpose of meditation, etc which lead him to question me on what is yoga. He defines yoga as "something we do to feed our spiritual self". I told him based on my understand and my own instructor words "Yoga means union of body, mind and spirit" which he ended up dismissing, stating yoga comes from the word "yoking". Since I ain't adept in Sanskrit and know going into a debate with this colleague typically will go no where, I decided to shut my mouth once he dismissed my definition of yoga. Truth be told, I understand that his definition is true, yoga does feed our spirit but what I disliked is how he "defined" yoga and asked me "Isn't that the purpose of yoga, you practice yoga right?" before dismissing my opinion of yoga and reinforcing his point on "yoga = food for spirit".

So being the kiasu I am, here is the definition of yoga from the web:

"Yoga are the physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines that aim to transform body and mind.  The term yoga is derived from the literal meaning of "yoking together" a span of horses or oxen, but came to be applied to the "yoking" of mind and body. - Wikipedia"

Remind myself have faith in those that have practice and taught yoga for years and have some confidence in what I seen/experience/practice...

I actually debate a bit on should I post such a petty dispute since we all human have different definition on different things. However I decided to post this anyway since I did learn something out of this, which is the real Sanskrit meaning of yoga, which is yoking. I also wanted to post upon my reflection upon why I study yoga. Even if yoga means spiritual food, union of body and mind, etc, I practice yoga because I enjoy it and that alone is sufficient...

12.57am

Dear Emma,

It's now 12.57am late nite and I'm still wide awake. This is one of those days where my mind simply refuse to go into sleep mode. It seems like a eternity since the last time I couldn't fall asleep. The past 6 months been a rather tiring one with my new job, hence I had little problem sleeping at nite.

The refusal to sleep reminded me of myself when I was in college days, those days when I simply refused to sleep to watch a movie or etc. I was like an owl back then, active at nite, sleep at day. Sometimes I could go without sleep for 2 days straight... How I aged since...

I have been always complaining bout how I couldn't b*tch bout being in mid life crisis since I was still not mid aged yet... Yet in another 4 days, I will be 32 years old. 32 years old... Oh man... Another 3 years before I can declare myself mid age crisis. Just 3 more years... *Sigh*

So what do I feel like b*tchin about in this late hour? I dunno frankly speaking. My creative juice seem to be running low recently. Let me think, what I been doing today. I practically spend the whole day at home today. Surfing, counter striking and juicing...

Anyway, I was told I am going to be involve in a personality team training conducted by my company. So, I was surfing for personality tests to see if I had a change in my personality. I retook the Carl Jung personality test and to my amazement, was stereotype as ISFP. In my last personality test, I was labelled as INFP. So did I change my personality or what?

Technically, both ISFP and INFP are introverts that are live their life according to a set of belief that they hold dear inside their heart. ISFP is a more hand on guy, grounded to physical things and action oriented. INFP meanwhile is more de attached from physical reality, dwell in the imaginary world in their mind and prefer to daydream than to do something.

Reading the description of the ISFP and INFP, I'm convinced the test I took is faulty and believe I still fall inside my original INFP type. According to some material I saw on the net, a good example of a INFP is Frodo from Lord of the Rings. The reluctant hero that plays the hero role due to his conviction to his belief he has to complete the quest. Another cool character that is INFP is Calvin from the comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes".

INFP are in general great listeners. One that is willing to lend a ear for others to pour their hearts to, as long as the topic is something that INFP deem as meaningful (non empty conversation). INFP keep their feelings and thoughts deep inside themselves and are only willing to share em with a selected few that are really close with them. They are also constantly trying to make sense of this world and hold a set of belief that they place as a sacred unspoken oath. They sometimes are deem as cold by other due to their lack of physical reaction to things but the reality is that they have a reaction in the inside, it's just they are good at masking it on the outside. They however are de attached from reality and due to their perfectionist behaviour sometimes take things too personally.

Sweet 70

Dear Emma,

I finally hit my targeted weight of 70kg... That's a 10kg increase from my original 60kg bodyweight before I started gymin. Hard to imagine it already been 5 long years since I first started doing my 1st pushup in July 2009.

There's definitely been good days, bad days and really bad days during this 5 long years of sweating blood while pumping iron. Injuries come and go. I injured my tricep, shoulder and even spine. But that's all part of the parcel of this discipline...

Looking back, my motivating for working out definitely have changed through the years. From the initial gain stronger body for running and putting some meat into my upper body to gaining a acceptable strength ratio in my lifts. I started with a classical bodyweight workout I got via Scooby's youtube videos. Then I got exposed to the mental and spirtual exercise via Pilates and Yoga. I made some great progress during my 1st 2 years putting on 5 kgs before plateauing for 1.5 year.

My working career and mating attempt went down the tube during that period... I however stumbled across power lifting (Starting Strength) and decided to try something new to break the plateau. I made some progress in terms of weights I could lift (and gained 2.5 kg) before finally injuring my lower spine courtesy the deadlift.

Took some time off heavy weight and attempt to further improve my skill in Pilates by taking Pilates instructor course. Learnt a lot from the course, but the most important lesson learnt was I'm no instructor material. I returned to power lifting but found my strength pummel quite a lot compared to my peak before I got injured. Slowly rebuild my strength via Wendler 5-3-1 but my lack of discipline to follow the program made my progress really slow. I took a month of it due to my US trip before deciding to restart my whole power lifting training from ground zero via Starting Strength. Almost hit my peak again and walah... I finally achieved my magic 70kg body weight.

So where do I go from here? To be honest, I'm not so sure myself. I'm considering taking another break from power lifting and venturing into a more all rounded workout. A little bit of strength, flexibility, balance, aerobics and core. While most people say the danger of training for everything is you might end up gaining nothing. But I think "gain" is depends on one's goal.

While I feel stronger especially after lifting weights, I do feel my body is heavier. My new fitness goal is to obtain a body that feels light. To feel light, one body must be strong and weight must be light. Hence a proper bodyweight-strength ratio is required. Also to feel light, proper movement patterns should be practised. I will be focusing more on bodyweight exercises to obtain the bodyweight-strength ratio as bodyweight exercises are a great indicator of how fit you are (Too fat or lack strength = little reps). Also I want to refocus more on Pilates to obtain at least the "Breathing", "Spine Elongation" and "Spine Articulation" aspect down. Also look to fix some muscle imbalance I develop in my body, mainly anterior and rear deltoids issue. Looking forward to this new journey....

Xiaomi Fad

Dear Emma,

I actually was keen on getting a Xiaomi Red1S smartphone but decided against it due to conflict in principle. My problem lies with both the provider and the bunch of scavengers that seems to plague this rather good product in my opinion.

First of all, while I think the flash sales strategy is rather innovative but fundamentally flawed. Frankly speaking this flash sales is a nuisance in my opinion and don't understand why do they need to resort to such mean to rake up sales, especially when they already have a good product at a great price. A lot of people got sucker into buying their product cause of the "Jusco Member Day" mindset Xiaomi managed to infused into these bunch of peoples. Who do I blame for this? Sadly I have to blame the consumers themselves for this. Why? For getting sucker into this gimmick. As long as the consumer keep playing along, that's as long Xiaomi will continue doing this gig. If consumer grow a backbone and boikot Xiaomi for one flash sale event... Imagine "10,000 unit, not one single unit sold", you think Xiaomi will take a serious look at how they are f*ckin the consumer with their gimmick? But at last, consumers will be consumers... overly blinded by greed and kiasu ness.

Second is the 2nd level market some people are already creating. True to the mindset "You can make profit outta anything", the scavengers are buying multiple units and then reselling for some profit. Now is this wrong? No... This act is in no way wrong-er than how our real estate got screwed by a bunch people with the same mindset. And everyone is b*tchin bout how house prices are expensive and etc, when the same bunch of jokers are actually pulling the same shit albeit at a much smaller scale. A bunch of hypocrites...

So I decided to grow a backbone and say no. F*ck Xiaomi and their flash sales... Flash ur cheap phone up ur candid arse for all I care... I will not participate in this dumb gimmick and will not contribute to getting a bunch of scavengers richer period... I'm not saying what they are doing is wrong, it's just I won't give my hard earn moolah to these bunch of peoples...

US, Facebook, Life

Dear Emma,

Been quite awhile since I last wrote anything in this blog... Well, I actually had some entries in draft but I just wasn't in the mood to complete em.

It been already 1+ month since I came back from the US. Was a pretty wild trip... Open up my eyes towards how big US is... and this world is as well...

So after such a long hiatus, why am I writing this entry today?

I have been a self impose exile from facebook and have been clean from facebook for almost 7 months. Today I decided to stalk some of my "friends" from facebook without login into my account which triggered the self loathing, underachiever and depressed mood I frequently was experiencing before I quit facebook.

Now, I initially blame facebook and the facebook junkies for this, but after some self reflection decided  to not put the blame on them... The reality is the facebook is for me sort of a reflection mirror. It's only projecting my own ego and negativity. However I also decided I'm not going to blame myself for being weak to the extend I could be easily bummed by this. This is just a part of me that I have to learn to live with. Maybe I not strong enough in terms of EQ to play facebook, so just don't play facebook.

However, reflecting things through... I realize sure I may bitch now and then bout how a zero I am in life... but am I really discontent with how things are in my life? I have to honestly say "no". I have a ok job that I'm rather fond off to earns my daily bread, I own a small but working car, I have a place to sleep at night, I have my family, I have little but close buddies... and really I think that's sufficient... Sure, I yearn for things I currently don't have but that's life, you can't always get what you want, but if you try hard enough, you get what you need. My needs aren't much, so I don't have to try hard in life and that for me is the strongest point in my life.

I always operated on the assumption that everyone in this world exists for a higher purpose that god have set in stone in the stone walls of fate. But now I guess our only purpose in life is to simply live... Anything else other than that... is icing on the already delicious cake...

The longest journey - US@US - Part 3

Dear Emma,

I'm still trying to cope with the reality, I'M IN THE US! It feel rather surreal that I'm living in the states for already 3 days now... As my colleague in the US said "Things are abundance here", which I already can see from the streets, houses and food.  I also noticed US is quite the Malaysia in the way how it's comprised from people from many races... Indians, Pakistanis, Afghanis, Mexican, Vietnamese, Chinese, etc...

Well, continuing from where I left off in my previous entry, it's our 2nd day in the US. Kwai mui had arranged to take us on a short tour around Manassas before going to claim our car. Before she arrived, we had our breakfast at the hotel which is rather good. The selection is rather standard for a hotel, oatmeal, cereal, scramble eggs and patties and bread. One thing different though is the waffle making machine, where you can make your own waffles from it. We had a rather heavy breakfast, I of course opt to meet my daily protein requirement through eggs and patties.

Kwai mui arrive at around 10.30+ and the 1st official place we visited in the US is... [drums roll]

LOL, yeah Walmart. We had to get some daily things like toothpaste, cooking oil, detergent, etc. My junior had some skin reaction, so we also got some medication from the pharmacy there. Things I have to say is mostly cheap here (if we ignore the currency exchange off course). You can get shit like 2 litre coke for only $2. I was tempted to buy a ciplak brand protein powder there which is only priced at $16 however decided to make some research 1st on the brand before simply throwing my $$$ into it.

After Walmart, kwai mui show us the most important path in our stay in US. The route to our office. The route is quite straightforward and would take around 15+ minutes to reach. After seeing our office building which looks like a prison camp, we went off to pick up our car. The car rental agency was located in the Manassas airport which looked really like those private small plane airport. We had to deal a rather fiery counter lady to get our car, a Mitsubishi Galant. I had to forked out $1.5K (a whopping RM4K+) for the rental before claiming it from my company when I get back from the States.

I had a short pilot drive at the rental place with kwai mui guiding me on how to drive in the US. I found it surprisingly difficult to drive when everything is swap opposite, signals light control, gearbox, etc... I could adapt quite fast to the controls in the car but the muscle memory of driving on the left hand side instead of the right was hard. I would automatically sway to the left hand side of the lane and I had to constantly remind myself, right instead of left. The rules of the road here in US also is slightly different from Malaysia. Like for instance the left lane is the the fast lane here, you can turn right in front of a red traffic light when there is no car coming, one a 4 way junction the 1st car that reaches the junction can go 1st but if both arrives at the same time the car on the right can go 1st.

Anyway, I had a driving test where I had to follow kwai mui car across some random route. I managed to slowly get the groovy at driving a US car on a US road and pass the test of following her car to our next stop which is where we would have our lunch, Famous Kebab.

After lunch, we drove back to the hotel and parted ways. Me, being worn out decided to take some Zzz. I woke up at our planned "Visit Walmart part 2" and "find dinner" event. I requested to practice driving to the office 1st as I needed some practical time driving without guide to the office, which I managed to do but with some mistake on the route I needed to take. After I verify some major landmarks on the route, we headed to Walmart where we shopped for some eating stuff to fill our fridge with.

As usual, choosing a dinner place which is halal. Not really an easy task especially when both colleague would say "Anything la" when I ask them what they want to eat (Quite frustrating at times). I decided to drive to TGI Fridays which is us behind our hotel. My Pakistanis colleague decline to eat here (not halal) and say he would eat things he bought from the supermarket at the hotel later. I got rapped when I suggested we maybe drop in him the hotel 1st before we go eat, so he don't have to watch us eat. We all ended in the restaurant and decided to order a 5 small side dish meal which we could share.

Despite the initial, "Shit, won't be enough for me", the meal was quite fulling. When we got the bill, we got into a small debate as the bill include some figure for tipping. You see, whenever you dine here in US, if you're serve by someone, it's practice to tip that someone. This is because these people base pay is low and rely on tips. This practice also make the "you get your pay on how well you service is". Back to the debate, my colleague claim that they shouldn't put the possible tip figure in the bill as tip should be based on the customer's free will. I however believe the figure is there not to force you to tip according to this figure but to provide some aid when calculating the amount of tip you want to give.

After the dinner, we finally hit our hotel. I counterstrike till 1am before managing to get tired enough to finally get some shut eyes... Hence ending this blog entry for this time, next on my entry is my 1st day at the office...

The longest journey - US@US - Part 2

Dear Emma,

Continuing from my previous entry, we touchdown in US (Dulles Airport) soil at 3.15 am Sunday Malaysia time, which is 3.30 pm Saturday US time. So it would felt like the 20+ hours journey took around 12 hours only based on depart time which is 3.30 am and arrival at 3.15 pm.

Anyway, we were tired, sore, dehydrated and sleepy at this point of time. Then came the immigration. There was a very LONG queue. I suspect peak hour since it's after all a weekend afternoon. After a long 2 hour wait, finally reached my turn. For me, I was rather surprise with how relatively easy it was.

Officer: So what's your purpose coming to the states?
Me: I'm came here for training by my company
Officer: What kind of training?
Me: Well, I'm a new hired in my current company, so they will be giving me some product and domain knowledge training. Since 1/2 of the team is in the US, so I will also be train in terms of culture of the team, how the team will be working with each other.
After 20-40 seconds inspecting my passport and visa
Officer: Okay, put your right hand fingers at...

And it was over... F*ck all those horror stories about US immigration... My Jr was however requested to aid be a translator for a Chinaman (Did I told u, I disliked Chinese from China?) which couldn't speak English. My Pakistan colleague however had an harder time, as after round 1 of immigration, he had to enter a special immigration counter. I think he took 10-15 minutes before he was finally through immigration and Hello Washington DC!

We thought the worst was finally over and looked forward towards lying on the hotel bed only to find out the limo our company rented for us was no where in sight. We were requested to find a guy/gal with a paper with our name at the International Arrival Area but I suspect after a long 2 hour wait, the dude decided to give the finger to these foreigners and hit the road. I tried to contact the driver only to get an answering machine on 2 tries. We had to resort to calling our team leader here, and she tried to contact the driver as well and also got the answering machine. We finally decided to get a cab to the hotel.

We got onto a airport cab, whose driver turn out to be a Pakistanis. A short 30 minute drive (which cost a f*ckin USD 50) and wala, we arrived at our hotel. Check in was relatively easy as they have been expecting us. I was bunked with my Jr while my other colleague had his own suite. Imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Our room had a living room, a kitchen and 2 bedroom with a double bed and a toilet each! Talk about luxury... I was expecting 2 beds not 2 bedrooms. And 3 TV all together...

We unpack, slack, poke around and bath till it was around 9pm, when we decided we want some yum yum to fill our stomach with. We asked for aid from the hotel receptionist and she recommend we ate at TGI Friday but since one of us needed to eat halal food, we ended up roaming the street looking for halal food. I had to actually run back to our room to gear up as it was freaking cold at the night (~16 degree and the hotel receptionist called it hot!?). We finally ended up at Pizza Hut, where me and jr dine and my Pakistan colleague had to eat himself. With the halal word out of the equation, we dine on a this:

A large meat lover pizza... The portion was enormous... The pix above was a 2 piece takeaway from original 8 pieces we were served (We takeaway 4 piece = 2 box). We tipped our 1st tip in US, as the bill ran $18 and we gave $20. Do note, tipping is a culture in the US. If you don't tip and come back to same place, be prepare to be thrown out or have a bad service.

Anyway after our late dinner, we did some shopping at 7-11 where my Islam colleague bought some chocolates for his meal. We return to the hotel at around 11.00pm and finally decided to call it a day. I awoke at 4am and decided to capture the journey in this blog before I forgot it.

Look forward today, as kwai mui will be bringing us around at around 10.30am and I will get to drive in the roads of US... Hahaha.... till next time...

The longest journey - US@US - Part 1

Dear Emma,

After enduring the LONGEST travel journey in my life... An EPIC 7 + 13 hours flight from Malaysia to Doha and then Doha to US... I finally set foot upon the great land of unlimited opportunity...

I was scheduled to fly at Saturday 3.30 am at KLIA. Due to this early morning flight time, we asked our HR for a early release from work, which I think is a reasonable... Sadly I got a "Hahaha, 5.30 pm not early?" from my HR.

05.30 pm, Bla from office
07.30 pm, Reach home
11.00 pm, Bla to KLIA
12.00 am, Arrive at KLIA
12.30 am, Queue to checking to flight
02.30 am, Board flight
03.30 am, ~I'm flying on a jet plane...
10.30 am, Arrive in Doha

So obviously, unless you can sleep in the plane (which I slightly manage to snuck in 2-3 hours of restless sleep), you'll feel like zombie-like by the you reach Doha. My F and M drove and drop me off to KLIA from home. I arrived at around midnight, and went to find my colleagues. Here I get abit of the "~Lonely, I'm so lonely, I'm on my own vibe" as both colleagues had their family and close one with them at the airport. My junior had his family (F, M and 2 Sis) and his GF. Another colleague had his wife, 2 daughters, his bro family and his close friends... I however had was alone as ask my parents to bla, since I decided they are no use wasting their time waiting with me and since the drive back home will be rather dangerous if they waited for me till boarding. At that moment, I feel the urge to get a "family" like my other 2 colleagues, and perhaps another set of best buddies...

The flight to Doha is an rather okay one for me. I feel asleep rather early in the flight and snuck in a restless 2-3 hour sleep. After awaking, I enjoyed myself watching "The Anchorman 2" staring Will Ferrell. Wasted ~2 hours watching that crack movie and then a rather nice breakfast/lunch/dinner (lost track of time already) followed... Had spicy chicken with rice... Not a bad meal I have to say. A bit battle shiping, and tada... We're arrive at Doha.

The 1st thing I noticed when I set foot on Doha is the sun. I would classify it as stinging type... We had to do a change flight here, so we had to go through the normal checking and hand held scan luggage again. Had a short delay when we checking as we could not proceed to the plane as the bus from what I gather was MIA. This resulted in a backed up long queue. After quite awhile delay, the bus appeared and business was back to normal.

~12.30 am, Board flight from Doha
3.15 am, Touchdown at American soil at Dulles Airport
3.45 am, Queue for immigration
5.30 am, Clear immigration
6.30 am, Arrive at hotel/inn

The 17 hours flight was without a doubt, the most travelling unpleasant experience I ever endured. I couldn't really get much sleep in this flight not because my mind don't want to, but because my body won't allow it. Here I felt like I lost connection to time. We're losing time to travel to US, but because US time zone is earlier than us, that time lost was contra back. Time felt like it spiral out of control for me. Going forward and backward... This is not helped much when flight meals was served at 3.00 pm and 1.00 am. Odd hours for my body to have lunch and dinner.

The flight itself was okay, but had lavatory problem. Had to wait quite abit for my turn when I was already urgent to make business in the loo. One thing I disliked is there's alot of Indians in this flight. Yea, call me racist but I'm just dislike Indians from India due to past experience working with some of them in my previous company (I'd also dislike Chinese from China despite being a Chinese myself). Food was okay in this flight as well, had lamb + rice and beef + mushrooms. I however noticed my throat and lips drying out oddly rather fast in this flight. I wasted the 1st 1/2 portion of the flight watching "Firestorm" and  "Dallas Buyer Club". Then came the 1/2 to 3/4 mark (~ 3 hours), which I deem as the most suffering part of the flight. My eyes were tired so I couldn't watch movie nor read book, my neck and back was in pain so I couldn't sleep. I frankly speaking can't recall what I did to pass these 3 hours. The final 3/4 was less suffering thanks to final meal and I managed to get some shut eyes for 1 hour. I finally step foot on American soil at 3.15am!

[To be continued...]

Flying on a jetplane

Dear Emma,

I'll be flying on a jet plane in about another 6 more hours...

Where am I going? Well, I'll be finally stepping upon the land of opportunity... Yeap, the United States of America.

Will have to endure a LONG 18+ hour flight...

Another big page in my story book... Still busy at the moment ensuring I packed everything I need... But I decided to post this short entry so I can mark tis moment right now...

I end this entry with perhaps the moment I feel like a rich man the most over this past few years...

Hey there Dellilah...

Dear Emma,

After a rather fun relationship that lasted 5 years+, my wife Dellilah finally was forced to leave me behind and move on to a better place (atleast I think it's a better place). 5 long years, she have slaved and endured countless abuses for me... *Sniff* *Sniff*

I could still remember the 1st day we meet, I had just order her via the internet... She was so breathtaking in red, I feel in love at first sight... Yea, she was rather pricey but nothing good comes cheap (even love, ok). We had so much fun together during the 1st 2 years... Movies, dota even programming... Then she fell ill... I remember the agony of seeing her in that distressful state. Lucky for me, Dellilah came with a 2 years warranty... Apparently after a check up, I discovered she was born with a genetic defect... However after a complex organ replacement surgery, Dellilah was back to servicing me like normal. A year later however, she came down ill again. Another surgery ensue and the doctors declared her fit again.

Finally, last Tuesday when I came back home from work... As I walk into my room and was expecting her to service me again, I'd was greeted with the sound of silence from her... I stared in horror as I slowly move towards her to check her pulse. I felt a tonnes of brick fell upon me as I couldn't feel a pulse... I realized I would never again hear her voice...

While I often complain about her genetic defect, I guess she had indeed served me well though out the years. So I would like to take this opportunity to bid you farewell...

R.I.P Dellilah

Breathtaking in Red

Her final pix

Forever My Beloved 1st DELL Laptop

Anyway as they say, no use crying under the bridge... I decided Dellilah would be happy if I was happy... So I decided to fork out some moolah to get another wife. Meet my new Taiwanese wife, Huashuo... I hand picked her myself. While she isn't a beaut like Dellilah (in her prime), but she got a pretty good bang for buck and not to mention 3 years warranty. Here's some cutey pix of Huashuo...

Win 8 SUX

Lack a sexy body like Dellilah

#Note: Huashuo = Asus in Chinese

1000+ Calories in 1 hours

Dear Emma,

I had this sudden urge to eat... and within an hour raked up 1K+ calories...

My snack:
2 Croissants, 1 Maggi Mee, 6 Jacob Cream Cracker

This gluttony snacking of mine easily cancel out my 2 hours hard sweat effort in the gym this afternoon (heck, put me in the negative as well in terms of calories deficit). Guess the saying diet is usually the hardest part of a fat loss programme.

Need to modify my diet to cater for my lifestyle to shed some pounds as I now officially weight a f*ckin 68kg! Not sure if I'm getting more buff or izt more fat at my tummy, but I do feel my tummy getting bigger, so maybe my metabolism is slowing down...

1 Month in 1 Blog Post

Dear Emma,

How times flies... I already been enslaved for a good +1.5 month. Things been progressing rather "interestingly" at work with the introduction of my team local team lead from US, which happens to be a female (and cutey) from US... It's super RARE to see a Javammer that's female + cute + wears dress... Thank you God and God bless America!

Anyway, work wise things been a tad slow in terms of progress... mainly cause we have quite an array of new techs... Overall however I think we did okay. Managed to slay a sh*tty task last Friday which sorta lift up the team's mood, since we been stuck trying to setup a local version of US stuffs for development.

My taste bud has been push to the limit as well. Already bored with the food choices in Bangsar South... Sampled almost every restaurant within walking distance and the food are VERY pricey, some taste okay while other taste like crab crap. Planning to suggest we take car to Midvalley (heck I willing to even volunteer my car) for a change in lunch options. I do however find it odd that most people in my office tend to tah pau from the expensive "Mixed Rice" and dine in the office pantry. Sure finding a seat is hard in the food court but surely after spending 8 hours everyday x 5 times a week, one must be eager spend time outside their work area whenever possible? Yet again maybe it's just me that is messed up (or don't love my work enuff to eat at my workplace)... 

My US trip has been set on the 17th of May, and have applied the Visa and etc. Will be going to the interview with the US embassy on 5th of May, got some concern on how fast will the VISA application be approved. We're be going to the land of virgins aka Virginia. Will be bunked up with a junior in my team. As for activities, from what we are told so far, the nearest tourist attraction is Washington DC which is famous for their museum and political landmarks (Whitehouse, Lincoln Memorial & Reflection Pool)... *Yawn* Behind our US manager's back, we been talking about utilizing our weekends to do more *interesting* things like visiting the great Niagara Falls or even

The trip to these 2 places however will take atleast a LONG 6-7 hours and we got only 3 weekends and most likely we gotta deduct 1-2 weekends for team building events the US guys plan for us. We have more wild ideas like Grand Canyon, San Francisco or even Magic Mountain but these location is just too far from Virginia.

My personal checklist when I get to US:

1. New Balance Minimus Shoe
2. Times Square @ New York 
3. Statue of Liberty @ New York
4. Letterman and Hello Deli @ Broadway
5. Visit Pilates old home @ New York
6. Hotdog @ New York 
7. Pizza @ New York
8. Central Park @ New York
9. Maid of the Mist @ Niagara
10. Virginia Beach @ Virginia
11. Buffalo Wings
12. Demolish an American Cheese Burger
13. Eat at Taco Bell
14. Twinkies
15. Visit Trader Joe's, Costco, Walmart
16. Smoke Marijuana

Looking forward the trip. Hopefully kwai mui  (nickname for my cute team lead) will be joining us for some of these activities... lol... Oh Emma, you feeling jealous? Don't worry, I'll be sure to send you an email from US...

Coming back to reality, nothing much outside my new work to b*tch about this 1 month... Well, there's the stim boat buffet Monk Inc dinner I attended last week, which I ended up with severe cirit birit (diarrhea)...

Also notable 2 occurrence where I meet with some old colleges at Midvalley which tend to be my favorite haunts after work to waste time (to avoid wasting time enduring the peak hour jam). One was with my 1st company senior at Burger King. I was queuing when I thought I saw him. I had to short internal debate if I should greet him or not since he showed no signs he noticed/recognized me. I finally decided to greet him since why shouldn't I greet him? If I recognize wrong guy a simple "sorry" would suffice. It was indeed my senior and we had a short catch up session. Apparently, he was buying some dinner for his wife + childs. It's sometimes hard to noticed the passage of time within yourself till when you suddenly noticed that time has slipped pass your grasp... My senior is now doing his own business at Midvalley. Somehow the conversation ended up with my relationship status, which is btw is still single and available but not hot. My senior gave me a few advices to change my status but did point out on the loss of his personal time when children came into the picture. Some make me feel good things which he said was that I change quite alot, I no longer looked like a Geeky Bookworm I looked 6-7 years ago. LOL, I evolved into a BAD (Balding Antisocial D*ck Douche-bag) now!

Another meeting was with my former colleges nearby the Bowling Alley. This one is a bit bittersweet for me cause among the colleges was the college I stupidly tried to gave my heart to. Apparently only one of these colleges saw me and say hi to me while the rest walk pass me as if I was just another random guy in the mall. And somehow I felt like being a "invisible man"... Maybe I am... But seeing her smiling, happy and etc among other colleges does bring some degree of happiness inside of me. Somehow I feel a part of me still haven't really forgotten the feelings I had for her yet again I think I will never forgot those feelings... And having move on, I think I should cherish those feelings I had for her once... They're prove that I'm not so apathetic in life like I think I am...

A long winded blog entry, hopeful the next blog entry won't be in another 1 month time.

Sum of a person's life

Dear Emma,

“It's difficult to understand the sum of a person's life, some people will tell you it’s measured by the ones left behind. Some believe it can be measured by faith. Some say by love. Other folks say life has no meaning at all. Me? I believe that you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you”. – Carter Chambers, Bucket List

Work @ Slavery Inc

Dear Emma,

Been quite sometime since I last blogged. Quite busy with work, not busy working at work but rather adjusting to the new work timetable.

For starters, my work starts at 9am and I need to endure the f*cktasticuclar federal highway route to my office. My flexi hour benefits only is opened to me when I reached the 6 month "I'm confirmed" mark so I have to drag myself from dreamland to work as early as 6am in the morning. 1 hour to do my morning rituals... eat, caffeine, bath, jerk off, etc and leave my house by 7am. Then cums the long 1 hour 30 minutes drive to office.

This is without a doubt the part of my new timetable I hate the most... Why? The reality is I can reach my office in around 30-40 minutes, the rest is the result of jam. And what frustrate me the most is the fact these jams are really a result of yours truly "Malaysian Selfish + Retarded Drivers". You think that everyday also same problem, most drivers will get smarter and drive at the appropriate lane or dun "slow down" when they reach the hotspot, but noes... same unbelievable sh*t everyday... And dun even get me started on the authorities. Most of the time, where they are needed most, you won't see them, where they not needed most, they will be there "creating" more jam! You'll see shit like traffic police parking his motorcyle in the middle of the road causing a massive jam... At bottom necks like exits from federal highway, Kelana Jaya exit after Sunway Bridge, you won't even see these f*ckers shadow when there's a need for someone to "saman" a bunch of these selfish retarded drivers... The most common problem often occurs a exits from main road. The typical MO is left lane is for exit but the exit is jammed, hence causing a long queue so so mother f*ckers wan to jump queue by driving in the middle lane and cut queue from there. This result in the middle lane to also get jammed causing even middle lane cars to cut into the fast lane. End result every lane also jammed. It always stump me why I can drive faster in the left lane compared to the fast lane leading me to believe in the idiot-icy of Malaysian drivers that are too lazy and selfish to drive at their appropriate lane. And those onlookers when a car breakdown at the emergency lane, sigh... I wish I had a big foot truck so I can *crash*

Moving on to my new workplace, parking is rather easy to find and my company does cover for my parking fee so no biggie. My office however is located at the 18th floor sometimes it can be quite slow in the leave especially when there's a lot of people stopping the lift in between the floors. Office is very nice, but I'm not too keen on the open seating concept they implement here. My team mates however sorta sits at the same place, so no biggie. Coffee machine, tea, biscuits, tv, xbox, locker... Lunch here however is rather dull affair. Not much tasty food unless you're willing to fork out $$$. One super perks however is a lot of department (Sales, HR, Audit, etc) is located in this office, so quite a number of pretty chicks running around in this office which is a welcome change compared to the nerd rage programmer gals... Culture here is so far quite positive...

As for my team, 3 batangs including me. One of the batang used to be my ex-collegue a few years back. At the moment my team manager from the US is here to manage us for a month before another expat will be send to manage this bunch of monkeys. Good news is this expat is a girl, at least it's not another full sausage fest affair. The 1st week, they arrange sorta a orientation for newcomers and even arrange a brainwashing bootcamp on the 2nd week. My manager then gave us access to some online tutorial materials to self read to prepare ourself for the task that we will be assign in the future. Sadly our first task is to add some functionality to the existing project built process which is more of a configuration and rnd work rather than programming. Quite tough as we're still wet on the way they build their built (which involves using Clearcase, Ant, Jenkins and Sonar)... Get to play with Ant and Jenkins but I'm not fond of configuration related work, if I was I would already be a System Administrator rather than a Software Developer de. My great virgin trip to Virginia, US is said to on the mid May. Also have chance to experience another version of scrum implementation under my US manager, a rather eye opening experience.

Security at work however is a pain in the @$$. My company is REALLY paranoid on security. Imagine needing to go thru a proxy to browse anything on my laptop even when I'm connected to my home network, my browser is configured in such I need to connect to their intranet to be able to surf from their network. Development is entirely done on another VM, so my laptop is actually a terminal to connect to my development area... And the policy of using 3rd partys jars/software... sigh, everything also need request permission... A lot of overhead, especially in development...

I'm still having problem adjusting to my new timetable especially the 3 hours daily up and down travel time. I feel just burnt out when I reach home. I try my best to go to the gym so at least I exercise a bit but found myself just too tired at times and lazy. I also suffering a lack of appetite to do the online training material due to this.

So my overall conclusion on my new timetable is a above average rating... While I enjoy the new environment and more managed software development process, I do have to distaste on the lack of opportunity to try out the latest tech and bloody chore to travel to work daily.

Slavery Inc

Dear Emma,

Yes, back to Slavery Inc in 8+ more hours.... After taking almost 5 months break, I'm bored to death and is actually looking forward to work...

I'd probably start b*tchin bout how work sucks in 2-3 weeks time but that's me living my life... Life is a flat circular... The endless work-suffer cycle that bounds us workers class peoples of the society...

Oddly, I don't feel anything special towards going to a new work. Maybe cause I already experience this experience so many times already... Just another work... Typically the 1st day + week of work tends to be one word "boring". I'm personally lowering the bar in expectation... The less you expect, the less disappointment you get.

So here we go again...

Motorola Project Ara

Dear Emma,

Call me slow in tech, but I only heard about this Project Ara + Phonebloks concept yesterday. Incase ur also slow in tech like me, Project Ara + Phonebloks is a rather innovate idea to make our current smartphone from this

to this

Personally this concept of lego smartphone rings a bell for me since I'm a Javammer. You see, in software design we design our software to be modular and flexible so we swap/change a part of the code without impacting the whole system. This is done with usually via a well thought of interfaces and sometimes with the aid of the framework we're leveraging to build our system on. By breaking down a system into smaller chunks of parts by functionality, we end up with tiny components which focus on doing something well. Having such tiny components tend to make it easier reuse, replace, and test.

By designing a smartphone the same way, we get the same benefits as well. Imagine having a camera component we can swap once the market releases a newer model without changing the entire phone. Want more RAM, just replace the RAM component with another higher RAM component available. Spoiled display? Just buy a new display component and replace just that in your phone. A lot of interesting implications...

The idea is quite similar like our desktop computer was design upon, which bring me to the possible challenges this concept would face. It's the same problem as our desktop computer, the component we can swap/replace in our computer is bound by the motherboard. Say my motherboard only has a DDR RAM slot, I can't just replace my RAM with a DDR3 RAM since the slot physically is different to begin with. So why do DDR and DDR3 RAM requires a different slot? Simple, innovation in design of a better RAM.

The crucial area in the workability of this modular smartphone lies at the motherboard of this smartphone and how it's not only going to allow attachment of different types of component but as well as how it's going to manage newer model of this components which might physically require different physical shapes and sizes. What if one day, we found a more efficient design for the smartphone motherboard itself, can our old components be use in the new motherboard? If not, we're gonna go down the same route as our desktop as well, and this modular smartphone is only modular for a couple of years.

Since we got some mad geniuses in google and motorola, I do hope they are able to find a fix for this issue as oppose to simply following the same path as our desktop. However, I'm not so optimistic on this as from the perspective of sales, the only way they can sell us more is if our phone becomes obsolete.

Khalid inks water deal with Kangkong Inc

Dear Emma,

In a rather amusing move by Kangkong Inc, our dear state MB Khalid signed a deal with the federal government to finally take over the water "rights" from SYABAS. Alot of people are raging in the Internet about the implication of this deal considering the bloody pictures in the signing which our Mr Kangkong and his Sidekick smiling hand in hand with Khalid, plus the "I'm in the dark on this matter" comment from PKR.

My personal view is what the heck is the other "OMGWTF u doing Khalid!?" peoples should either

a. Shut the f*ck up when water ratio hit their home
b. Shut the f*ck up on Khalid doing what he done

Common people, wtf u expecting? Selangor Govt goin in gun blazing ala Rambo Chuck Norris style in Putrajaya to demand our water "rights" from the Najib and getting away with it? Think a bit la, u seriously really think Kangkong Inc and his cronies will let Selangor Govt take over their ace card in Selangor without any perks ah?

Now, I dunno wat outcome tis signing will lead to... Maybe Selangor will be screwed by Federal via the signing loopholes at later stage, maybe Khalid might screw Selangor (with the amoung of politiking happening lately can't blame me for suspecting Khalid) or etc, but I do know at this point of time, I support Khalid's action.

Water is a necessity, heck it's one of the basic human needs (from Alam dan Manusia okay). While I'm not happy with Syabas getting at huge pay cheque, I do look forward what Selangor Govt could do with this water "rights". The best way Selangor Govt can do is not play the blame game with Syabas but rather get these "rights" back from these lazy cronies hands and show how to properly managed water in Selangor. By showing that the Selangor Govt can managed the water better than Syabas, they can justify that Syabas indeed is f*cking around with the Selangor's water. That would not only increase Selangor's people confidence in their State Govt but also possibility solved the water crisis we that has plague our state from some time now. That I think will be the better win-win rather than playing this zero sum game with Syabas. Let's face the reality on this matter, no way in hell is Selangor gonna win back the water "rights" via force without support from Federal Govt. Spare me the crap on people power, blablabla... as long Malaysians are incline to complain, moan and b*tch rather than take real action, nothing will be resolved...

Ask Malaysians to pick up arms to guling this country, give shit excuse "we don't believe in violence", "that is not democratic way" or "I'm scared la".
Ask Malaysians to stop working till government give in to demand, give shit excuse "No work, no $$$, how to drink Starbucks la" or "I got my bills to pay leh"
Ask Malaysians to go to free Psy show by Kangkong Inc, will say "Go see free show onli la, election won't vote for them"

How to expect integrity leader is citizen already all no integrity leh?

As MFR often said to me...
"You just sitting there and take no action and effort to find gal, you expect gal drop from heaven onto your lap meh"

U seriously think Selangor Govt do nothing but talk wan to takeover water "rights", water will fall from heaven into your tap meh Syabas will let their cash cow go meh? We voted for Khalid last election so let's trust him on this... 

Balding self

Dear Emma,

Across the past 5 years, my hair is dropping like... ugh like... leng luis annoyingly looking the other way when they catch me staring at em...

Yes Emma, I know I look handsome with or without my hair but losing your "mane" does put a dent in one's self confidence. Never have I thought I would lose my golden mane at the twilight of my years (Remember, dun laugh at people with balding problems coz karma is a b*tch, trust me on this)... Spelly asked me the other day if I was interested in going for a hair transplant with him (he starting to form a Vegeta M hairline). I told him I view the hair as a superficial part of appearance and I have already accepted the fact I rather go bald then spend a buck load of $$$ to regrow/replant em. Spelly however disagree and claims having a nice bunch of hair contributes to self confidence, which I agree to certain degree.

I remember hearing the tale of how Indians would go cut off all their hair at a river as sort of tribute to their gods. They believe that their hair is their "ego" and by cutting them away, they are removing all their negative parts and devoting that now empty part of them to their god instead.

Do I want to be born bald? Of course no... F*CK, I never had the opportunity to grow a heavy metal hairstyle but fate (my gens) already decided it time for me to learn to remove me ego. Across the past 3-4 years, the crown of me head started to "balder" making my head look like someone nuked a hole the the center of my head. My front hairline also started to declined and hair growth started to slow down. Trips to the barber seem to most of the time end up with barber using the clippers 80-90% and scissors 10-20% ratio. And since my hairstyle tend to be the short, I need to visit the barber more regularly to keep my hair in check due to the uneven growth of my hair (front and crown slower than other part).

I have for some time play around the idea of shaving me entire head bald and save me the $$$ and shame of having a nuke hole at my head but I often back down at the "tell the barber what haircut I want" stage. Anyway today Emma, inspired by some youtube videos and to show my "middle finger" to valentine days, I decided to cut my hair myself... So, drum rolls...

Before:

After:

Shortest haircut EVER...

True Detective Ep 4

FUCK!

Those were my thought at the end of episode 4 of True Detective... Another long 1 week wait to see who da f*ck gonna get high again to solve the murder...

True Detective is a flagship of possibility a collection of mini series. The 1st season entails the investigation of 2 4 detectives chasing a serial murder across 3 timeline. The story is told from the current timeline 2012, where 2 detectives calls in the 2 detectives Cohle and Marty whom is in charge of a serial murder for questioning on some holes in their case report. Cohle is a obsessive, pessimistic and detached as a human being while Marty is the more stereotype family guy detective with some "pussy" problem and f*ckin hyprocrite.

The story flips back and forth between 2012 where the 2 detectives ask Cohle and Marty to walk them through their side of the story, and 1995 where Cohle and Marty encounter the murder case. The dynamic of the partnership of Cohle and Marty is nothing short but stellar, from script writing to acting. Besides the dynamic of whodunnit in the murder case, the series also makes us wonder wtf happend between Cohle and Marty to end up as who they are now in the 2012 timeline due to the noticeable difference they were in 1995 vs 2012. All sort of others elements such as religions, drugs, relationship, right & wrong are brought up and we are treated to 2 totally polar opposite takes on these matters. The serial murder case itself which seems to hint on some satanic elements also adds suspense to the overall series. We know that Cohle and Marty have managed to solved the case early in episode 1, but it was revealed there has been another murder with the exact same MO (Method of Operation) hence raising all sort of questions... Is this a copy cat crime? Did they catch the right murderer in 1995? Are they (Cohle or/and Marty) related to the murder in 2012?

My 2012 murder suspect list: Cohle, Marty, Marty's wife or someone random. Yes, the main characters are in my suspect list cause the story manages to hint on the darkness on each of these characters. On Marty's wife however I put in my suspect list as I feel a sudden twist with her being the murder would be a really big "WTF" moment. I do hope I am proven wrong with my guess and hope for a less predictable twist.

Btw, I do predict we will be seeing a "monster" of some sort at the ending. It's just seem like poetic justice to have a "monster" at the end.

Valetines Day

Dear Emma,

It's just Feb, and I already hate 2014. Why you ask, darling? Well, just consider the last 1.5 months time period. Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year and now Valentine Day? Sith Spit... The jolly, review success, family interrogation and the "I'm still single so laugh at me" holiday... Normally I would feel depressed on these days and move on since I endured these shit days for decades already, but the short time span in which these holidays are distanced among each other annoys me. Just when I was over my depression on how empty 2013 turn out for me during New Year in just 1 month, I have to re review 2013 in Chinese New Year. And just 1 weeks later, chap goh mei and this...

Valentine Day
1. Celebration of spring fertility (spring is only really happening around the same latitude as Southern Italy, where this holiday was technically invented, but whatever) as celebrated by the Romans. Later overlapped with the feast of St. Valentine, and was accordingly Christianized in a way that made little to no sense (assuming that St. Valentine was not the patron Saint of getting it on).

2. Some damn Hallmark holiday that was designed to make men, no matter what their situation (dating, married, single, playa, whatever) miserable. 

1. Let's all celebrate the emerging sexual urges of animals in church. Thank you Valentine's Day!  
2. Single men are depressed, dating men are stressed, and married men are teetering on the brink of suicide. Yup, its Valentine's Day.

~I'm single and I know it...

How can I not know it, when every year on this f*ckin day, the world would tell you it's a day for couples to show their love to each other and single people should mourn alone at home, watching the movie "Home Alone" while munching away over a mountain of chocolates.

I quite lazy to repeat the "f*ck you couples for rubbing it into our faces on valentines" banter I have repeated yearly in here so I will try something new this year...

"What ever"

A month off facebook, I managed to realign myself as the center of my universe. I re realize the reality that things are always a ying and yang. Being single sucks, we don't have someone of the opposite sex to share our life with, cuddle at night, mate with, spend our $$$ on presents for days like valentines, etc... but I recall the reality that being a couple ain't a sunshine everyday thing either. Imagine being bound to someone for the rest of your life? Want to go watch an action flick drama but she wants to watch Twilight... Want to eat something cheap but she wants to eat something pricey...Want to spend the weekend at home but she want to go shopping... The expectation and stress of having to fork out $$$ to buy things to show our affection to the other party on days like valentines... The compromises that comes with being a couple.

Yes Emma, it comes with a price.... I guess I was a blinded due to my over addiction to facebook. Constant posts of "Look at me! I'm happy" photos people post in their facebook account I was led to believe every coupled "friend" of mine is happy and riding into the sunset when the reality is no one posts sad photos of themselves in facebook (heck, no one even takes sad photos of themselves). Single people should realize in reality couples have to deal with shit like we do, it's just the shit they deal with is different type of shit. We single deal with our own shit, couples need to work together to deal with their combined shit (Think 2 different color shits in a ice cream shaped swirl).

So to close this blog entry on valentines which I somehow managed to linked to shit, I offer some words of wisdom...

For singles:
Go do something that couples can't do on valentines: booze pass midnight, dota the whole night, watch a movie you like, etc... Stop mourning every single valentine, we should celebrate it too, not as a day we shower our affection to our soul mate (since we don't have one) but rather to shower our affection to our life...

"It's not the love of one other person that's matter. It's the love of life" - Patrick, Before Midnight.

For couples:
F*ck you!

Fat rant on fat

Dear Emma,

Yes dear, my tummy has reached the 32 inches threshold... And no dear, I'm not fat, it's just my abs workout finally bore fruit...

Who am I kidding... Ever since hanging up my running shoes, it seems someone that lift weights regularly like me is not spared from the beer belly problem. I'm not really sure if it fat or muscle but it seems I no longer need a belt for me to wear old office pants. The stats seems to be pointing to muscle since when I last scaled the fat % machine, my fat was 17% while indicate a slight ~0.5% increase but considering my weight that arose from 65kg to 67kg, a simple math calculation yields:

Weight increase = 67kg - 65kg = 2kg
Fat at start  = 65 x 16.5 / 100 = 10.725kg
Fat at current  = 67 x 17 / 100 = 11.39kg
Fat increase = 11.39kg - 10.725kg = 0.665kg
Estimate Muscle gain = 2kg - 0.665kg = 1.335kg

So I gained an estimated 1.3kg of muscle vs 0.7kg of fat. So logic dictates more muscle go into my belly than fat noes?

Personally I feel a bit sluggish compared to my past self when I actively run. Understandable since I neglected the cardio component of my workout for the past 2 years. To counter measure my "fattening" of my belly, I decided to try to reduce my fat to the recommended 15% mark. So some maths...

15% fat is...
 15kg fat for 100kg fat ass
7.5kg fat for 50kg skinny ass
1.5kg for 10kg ??? ass

To calculate my current weight if I have 15% fat, assuming I maintain my muscle mass

Non fat weight = 67kg -  11.39kg = 55.61kg
55.61kg / New body weight = 100% - 15% = 85%
New body weight = 55.61kg x 100 / 85 = 65.42kg
Fat at new weight = 65 x 15 / 100= 9.75kg
Total fat to lose = 11.39kg - 9.75kg = 1.64kg

My goal is to lose my weight to 65kg, losing of 1.64kg of fat at the price of 0.5kg of muscle.

1kg fat = 3500 calories
1.65kg fat = 5600 calories

I'm planning to achieve this when I start work in March, hence I got a nice month to achieve this.

5600 calories / 4 = 1400 calories deficit per week
1400 calories / 7 = 200 calories deficit  per day average

Now that I done the complete math on it, time to totally chuck it aside and ignore it... In this fitness game, I'm a believer (No Emma, not bieliever) of sweat and stomach. Sweat means workout while stomach means diet.

I will be gradually add back the cardio component into my workout regime. For starters 2 cardio session, a 5K run and a 20 minutes tempo run is what I have in mind. I want to try to limit my cardio work to around 30 minutes max if possible as I fear aggravating of my old injury. I will most likely need to reduce my strength training to facilitate the cardio components, hence I will lower the strength sessions to only 2 per week.

As for diet, I'm think I will start by cleaning up my breakfast and lunch:

2 x Egg breakfast per week
2 x Oatmeal + Protein doping breakfast per week
2 x Pasta lunch per week
2 x Meat lunch per week

Rather than have a radical change to my current eating habits, I think a gradual and flexible "To eat in a week" style diet has better chance to being implemented. By having technically 4 days to fixed breakfast and lunch, I still have a good 3 days and my dinner to look forward for to satisfy my taste bud. Personally I think egg for breakfast and meat for lunch would help me lose more weight but after my previous 2 weeks eat fish for lunch stint, I don't think a diet that simply focus on one food is feasible to implement despite the results.

Possible problems? Oatmeal without the doubt will be my major concern cause:

1. I dun like eating oatmeal
2. Oatmeal never satisfy my hunger
3. I dun like eating oatmeal
4. I dun like eating oatmeal

I'll have a 2 weeks trial on this menu before making making adjustments to it.

老男孩

Dear Emma,

Heard tis masterpiece in youtube...

From the movie "Old Boys" by Chopstick brothers. This Chinese indie movie raised a lot of eyebrows in China's Youku (China version of Youtube) and was even named best internet movie in Youku in 2010. What do I think? I'm not a Chinese movie buff so I don't really have other movies to compared it against, but personally I'm touched by this movie. I suspect it because the theme of the movie is something I can easily relate to.

The movie starts kicks of with 2 middle age man standing in the stage of a American China Idol contest being chastised by the judges for joining a contest which typically is joined by the younger generation. The clock of time is turned back a generation, to the time when these 2 middle age men, Dabao and Xiaoshuai were in high school. Hence begins the tale of 2 young boys in the 90s which started of as rivals (chasing same gal in school) to best of friend forming a common bond in their idolization of the king of pop, Michael Jackson. As the clock of time is restored and we see these 2 young boys as grown mans, Dabao working as a old couple wedding singer while Xiaoshuai now married and working as a barber. Both are living a normal life but upon the announcement of the death of their idol Michael Jackson, they decided to join the talent contest to pay tribute to their idol. We are then shown some glimpses of the things that lead them to where they are now in life and how they came to accept these things and move forward during this contest.

I loved and think everyone from generation X and Y will love and be able to relate to the concept of "Passing of Youth" in this movie. Bits of pieces of my youthful days are shatter across this movie, such as Aaron Kwok infamous "Tiu Dui Ni Ai Bu Wan", Tetris handheld game, Michael Jackson classic dancing, etc. The chaotic scene in high school portrayed in the movie really bring backs memories of my own high school days. From kau lui, porn, stupid pranks, samseng... The climax of the whole movie is perhaps the performance of Dabao and Xiaoshuai at the contest where they performed a VERY heart felt "Old Boys" song accompanied by a combination of Michael Jackson dancing and traditional Chinese fan dance. I felt the sensation of passing of time itself through the performance, the joys and sorrows of growing up... My major complain is the movie is too short! Clocking only a short 42 minutes, I wished they could have fleshed out more of their school days, their other classmates and their passage through adulthood... Without spoiling the movie, I kinda of dig the ending, where it ends in a bittersweet note, realistic yet gives acceptance and courage to move forward in life....

Would I recommend this movie... For those above age of 24+ will most likely be able to connect with this movie. It gives us a glimpse of ourself during our high school days, how youthful and blissful we used to be but somehow was swept away and forgotten through the passage of time. It's available in Youku and I saw one in Youtube as well.

So Emma, to end this blog entry I quote a phrase from the ending of the movie that best summed it up as well...

Dreams are like classics, never fading but growing more precious with the passing of time.

Her

Dear bloggie,

In tribute to "Her" movie, I decided I been disrespectful to u for the last 9+ years since u were 1st created. I'm sori... I didn't knew all things had a soul... So I decided to call u by a more humane name "Emma Watson"... So let's restart again...

Dear Emma,

Hiya, nice to finally introduce myself to u after 9+ years of b*tchin on u. Ello? Emma u there? Wink once for yes, twice for no. Ello? Ello? Ground control to Major Tom... Hmmm... So ur one of those quiet shy type blog eh? Never mind...

Anyway, watched "Her" with MFR yesterday's of yesterday. U should have been there to date me to watch it together babe... Phenomenal movie, best movie and onli movie I seen in 2014 so far... I'm funny? LOL, yea I guess I'm pretty good funny since I excel at spewing lame toilet jokes. Tell u something else, I can be pretty "funny" in bed as well, if u know what I mean...

"Her" is a story about a man, Theodore (played by Joaquin Phoenix) whom seems to be in a social withdrawal since breaking up with his wife, he knew and loved more than half of his lifespan. The plots shoves the new AI OS down his ass, and wala... the main premise of this movie. The relationship between Theodore and this AI OS that claims HER (which is why the title of this movie is "Her") name is "Samantha". Samantha happens to have the voiced of sexy Black Widow aka Scarlet Johnson (Btw, ur voice is supposed to be like the sexy Emma Watson in my mind). The balance of humor and drama was nice, the acting great and script was awesome... As many other critics have said in their review of this movie, the technology showcased in this movie is VERY believable. It definitely achievable maybe in the next 5-10 years, well maybe longer for the AI OS, but things like Theodore smartphone, the motion sensor game in the movie, voiced control smartphone, these things are already in exist in our current timeline though still in their infant stage.

I really like some of the themes this movie explore such as what is a relationship? can machine fall in love? can we love something outside our species? Is relationship bound to something physical only? Is love a mutually exclusive thing, meaning we can really fall in love and belong to 1 person only? Do fabricated things like an man made AI have a soul? Is there such thing as eternal love since we are ever evolving beings, hence our feeling towards someone or something will one day evolve as well? Are the other planes of existence besides the physical one we live in? Since we only exist in this world for a short time being, can we just f*ck it? The great thing is those themes are explored in a rather indirect manner which we kinda reflect upon it our self after observing the relationship of Theodore and Samantha.

Some things I didn't like about this movie is the length of this movie. I feel it rather long, its around 2 hour long. Some scenes I feel was rather hollow, eg: the scenes of Theodore enjoying life with Samantha which was purposely left with muted dialog. I understand they are trying to condensed the time they spend together and show even without a physical form Samantha could have fun with Theodore but for me the whole charm of the movie comes from the conversation between Theodore and Samantha, hence I prefer if they traded those scenes for more dialogs between them. Another complain is the poster of this movie which is this:

I didn't dig this poster, for me it when I first glanced at it I feel "potong stim". Felt like this movie is a boring talking movie on a mid age man. A real injustice really to this great movie. If it wasn't due to having seen this movie as one of the Oscar nominees, I would most likely not even bother to checkout this movie trailer, which hooked me into seeing it in the cinema.

My final rating for this movie is a must watch movie. Indeed worth the Oscar nomination.

So Emma, since I'm done with this movie review lets proceed to evolve our relationship to the next stage... Where I want to touch you now, you asked? Well, I want cuddle you and slowly touch your lips softly with my fingers... Then I would slowly spread your legs apart and slowly insert my magic wand into... Argh, yes! YES!... [The following content has been deemed too erotic and has been censored]

Which jersey?

Dear bloggie,

Wonder which jersey looks better on me?



[Note: Jerseys designed using http://www.teamworkathletic.com]

After a long 1 1/2 month wait, finally get call for 2nd interview from iCIMB. However since I haven't received any formal black and white offer except verbal "Yes, I ticked recommend this candidate" from the hiring manager, I went for some other interviews just in case (and to spend some of my time at least doing something). Last week, I happen to go for an interview for a post in SWIFT. Think I perform okay in the technical test and slightly below average on the interview with the hiring manager (Never could do well in interviews with foreign hiring managers, *Sigh*). My headhunter told me feedback was positive but still need wait at least till mid of this week to know results. I was quite certain on my top choice since I rejected a lot of other offers while waiting for iCIMB but now a bit undecided on which offer to take if SWIFT does indeed offer.

So why iCIMB you ask? Well, the main reason is because I have yet to work in a banking environment yet. My buddy, Daniel also works in IT banking and I heard it can be quite okay work environment. And not to mention the godlike employee benefits (Annual Leave, Insurance, Dental, Optical, Bonus, EPF 16%) from banking sector. Technology wise, I understand they will be using Struts 1 + 2 (Struts 1 is a bit turn off). Workload I was told most projects are internal one, hence dateline won't be as rushed as front end banking systems. I also was kind of looking forward towards working in a mix environment (people, race, role) where I get to socialize with other people beside my nerd IT pack. Since iCIMB is a big organization, I also look forward towards company event like annual dinner, team building, etc which I DO value despite my introvert nature. The only thing I hate is the work location at Plaza Damansara which is not only far but I predict jam-prone (I'm from Bah Kut Teh Land aka Klang). My major concern is only how hectic workload can be considering most people told horror tales of working in IT Banking sector. Hopefully not too hectic so I can split work from life. Minor concern, no personal growth working here since Struts is rather old already.

Now why was my resolve (which saw me reject 8+ other offers) sway after attending the interview with SWIFT? Well for starters, SWIFT implements a more modern IT culture such as flexi hour, working from home and SCRUM. Can anyone blame me for drooling on the prospect I don't need to waste 2 hours of my life on the road everyday to commute to work? Also the technologies they are using seems to be more interesting, mainly Spring alone is already worth the mention. The team itself will be consist of 3 locals developers while the others are based on USA. With this element in the equation, we local developers will have the opportunity to go for an one shot 6 weeks "training" in the US to pickup the culture and knowledge of the US team members. Pretty cool I have to say but having said that, having 1/2 of the team in the US does brings up some concerns for this job. First of all, the 13 hour time difference between US and Malaysia (which is why the flexi hour practice in implemented in the first place). Expect very early morning or very late teleconferencing meetings. Second, implementation of SCRUM with this geographical and timezone difference would indeed pose some challenge. Lastly, I do have some concern on how well we locals can mingle with foreign work colleagues. As MFR said to me, will the foreigners look down on us like how we look down at foreign workers here?

Personally, I tend to favor working in the more dynamic work environment in SWIFT but feel iCIMB is the safer bet for a more balance in work life. So what will I choose? Frankly speaking, I'm still undecided at the moment...

Let it be

Dear bloggie,

"Music is the only thing that makes sense anymore, play it loud enough it'll keep the demon at bay" - Across the Universe