No, I dun love attachments... But I decided to trash my earlier post to pave way for this post.
"Love Attachments"
To unbewilder those that thinking wtf in chihuahua am I b*tchin about, I think I'll go for the jugular... Those bf/gf, hubby/wife, les/gay partners kinda relationship. My conclusion is really this kinda things are really contradicting and f*ckin messy shit that defies logic, reasoning and as well as planet earth's gravity... Heck, what do you expect? It stems from "Love", and we all know how chaotic that anything associated with that element can be.
Ok, this all started from a chat with MFR. A chat on "spanaring" someone that's already attached. That chat never went far since
Most people I find seem to think this "spanaring" act as something bad but for me, as I stated earlier, I personally find this dilemma very contradicting. I find myself unable to actually say if this act is right or wrong. Now before you scream "Stake and burn this witch!!!" or "Send this heretic to the gallows!!!", let me b*tch on the arguments & counter arguments that made me sit on the fence on this issue.
I start with the moral argument on the mind of most people when asked to give their thoughts on this issue. It's unethical to spanar someone attached cause their A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D! B*atch/B*tch, your wrecking someone's home! How do you feel if someone spanar your gf, not happy right, so don't to others what you don't want others do to you! Well, these are a few of the moral arguments against tis act. Most states we should back off someone's property and only go for it once the lovebirds declared their relationship has ended, anything before that is like poking your @rse into the fireplace. There's also the rather absurd opinion that if you managed to spanar someone, what makes you think that someone will remain loyal and won't be spanar by someone else?
Now, personally I probably will be f*ckin pissed off if say I imagine someone imaginary is to spanar away my imaginary gf. I would probably feel like how I would feel had someone took my dinner table at a time slot I reserved a long long time ago. However since I have a rather f*rked up Moral Compass, here's some counter argument I managed to forked up against the moral argument crap. Ultimately, a relationship is really a 2 way thing. It applies to gf/bf and it also applies to this spanar act. It takes 2 to tango, well in this case, 2 to spanar. Besides, that someone you wanna spanar isn't a property (I draw the line at marriage though), it's a person. And there's the saying "All's fair in the game of love".
Moving on from spanar, to the main topic itself, Love Attachments. When you make such attachment or commitment, what happens when the unexpected happens?
What if you suddenly wake up one morning and discover you no longer love your partner or spouse? Do you continue on pretending you still love them in an attempt to honor the commitment or end it? In other words, do you eat your commitment or do you eat yourself? Complicated isn't it? And I haven't even thrown in the "what if there are kids already" into the mix.
Young lovers seek perfection. Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches. What this sentence means is there is no such thing a perfect love (as promoted by the evil Hollywood movies), but rather such relationship is really a give and take thingy. In other words, compromise. Let's face it, a relationship is like a roller coaster ride, there will be ups and downs. If one really isn't ready to compromise, tis roller coaster ride is gonna be a short one indeed.
While compromise is important, where do we draw the line in compromising? Returning to the question earlier "When you wake up one day... blablabla... you no longer love your partner or spouse or etc", is it right to compromise? Maybe tomorrow when I wake up I would love her/him again? Do anyone dare say such thing is impossible? By the high rate of divorce now days, I have to say more and more people don't really think we should draw a long line for compromise. Can I blame them? Not really. I mean, we all want a great life. We deserve to seek a great life. Our partner or spouse deserves a great life. To guise our self into making our partner or spouse we still love them when we don't, I think isn't right.
Having said that, I often ponder upon those Hollywood stars that get married as fast as they get break up. I ponder are these peoples wise sages or stupid fools. Why do I consider them as wise sages? Because they understand relationship isn't permanent. We hook up, we try to make it work and sometimes we just aren't meant for each other, we get bummed and get hurt, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to find the perfect one for us. If it there is someone that is perfect match for you out there, isn't it worth it to take that risk, even if it means going through 100 breakups in the process to find that special someone? Life is short and we shouldn't settle for anything less (Though reality is we can't always get what we want, but tis is about chasing after what you want rather than getting what you want).
I end this VERY long rant with a quote which I think offers some closure on the topic of "Love Attachments":
"I know our marriage has as good of a chance of being wonderful as it does missing the mark. However, I'm banking on our love for each other to weigh a bit heavier on the wonderful side. As Anna says about making a quilt, you have to choose your combination carefully. The right choices will enhance your quilt. The wrong choices will dull the colors, hide their original beauty. There are no rules you can follow. You have to go by your instinct. And you have to be brave." - Finn Dodd, How to Make an American Quilt
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