I've come to b*tch to you again,
Because a depression softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the depression that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...
Dear bloggie,
After almost 2 weeks hiatus, I'm back again. Very very hard to not blog as it seems tis sh*thole is the only real place I can vent out my emotions deep inside of me.
Suffice to say, tis 2 week been quite a up and down roller-coaster ride for me (mostly down).
Work wise, I completed my work in time but since my work is quite trivial one. I have to say I learn a lot of things this 2 sprints, JAXB, SOAP, Mock Object, Timer Task, Log4J (Still learning tis)... But I still feel like useless crap seeing how lacking my skill is compared to my other college, even the newest member to my team has Spring knowledge to boost, while I practically have nothing special to flaunt. And while I enjoy slacking after completing my task, I do find slacking while my other team members slog like sh*t can demoralized one's spirit. Call it peer influence/pressure...
Also, in a desperate attempt to try to fix my balding spot, I enrolled for Yun Nam Hair Care. They say my bald spot problem is caused my extremely bad dandruff problem and claim they can fix it for 3 months of treatment at the price of RM5K. I stupidly enrolled for it... Only to learn via the internet, there is ALOT of complaints on Yun Nam treatments. And on my 1st day of treatment, they make a u-turn claim and stated I need extra treatment too fix another cause of my hair loss which would require another additional 1.4K. Since I was already alarmed by their approach, I say NO THANKS, and contacted someone from NCCC on my Consumer Right for a f*ckin refund, as I seriously now doubt their treatment creditability. According to NCCC, I have a right to demand a refund on treatment and products that I have yet to take from them. Better be bald then be bald and poorer by 5K.
As for running... Yea, will be running the Penang 1/2 Marathon. Enrolled last second last month. Managed to train 2 weeks for this run (Badly disrupted by recently rainfall), I seriously have big ??? on my ability to survive this 20K. I'm quite confident of finish a 15K, but the extra 5K... I really dunno will my gut and will power be sufficient to pull me through it. Will be heading to Penang tis Saturday with Rukawa and his co. Looking desperately for a place to get a special haircut for this run (Anyone know where can get side cut with pattern one?). But my heart is a bit weighted down by another matter....
Last, my greatest joy and sorrow. My heart is still bleeding from the rejection. As MFR said, "first gal u try to really impress n kena reject". She seem to forget my stupid stunt already, but I somehow still doing really REALLY stupid things... My mind say let go, but my heart just refuses to let go... *Sigh*, no wonder Buddhism claim this kinda love is the path of suffering la... I'm trying my best to just convey my feelings to her unconditionally, with no expectation. That was my belief before this occurred and I will try my best to hold on to it. But somehow I think my ego taken a huge hit because of this, as one of my ex-college claims that nerd gals like tis are quite easy to fish one, 2-3 tries catch... Easy catch also I can't catch... Really demoralizing...
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