Xmas Depression...

The following blog entry contains depression and religion sensitive rants which may upset those that are currently in a jolly good mood and those hardcore religion pagans. If you can't take this kind of content, get the f*ck out ASAP. Therapist and priest supervision is advised.

Dear bloggie,

~I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
~I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
~Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord

Yea, the season of so-called joy and merry has arrived again... I'm feeling quite depressed... How in hell can I be depressed in such jovial holiday? Well, I happen to read a very interesting read that I think explain this phenomena.


Excerpt from "Hitchhiker Guide to Single Loserhood" page 10:

LSD short for Lonely/Loser, Single & Depressed refers to a collection of people which are doomed to live their pathetic life alone without a soul mate. This collection of people find it hard to attract the opposite sex for a variety of reason, ranging from:

• Physical disabilities (eg: born ugly, born short, born bald, born infertile, etc)
• Status disabilities (eg: born poor, born not as anak Datuk, etc)
• Exhibits ab "normal" society behavior (eg: dreamer, lack materialism, lack ambition, don't like K-pop, etc)
• Mentally disarranged (eg: ~I'm a creep ~I'm a weirdo) 
• Lack 'attractive' behavior desired by opposite sex (eg: not jerk, not player, not wild, too nice, etc)

Shunned by all people of their opposite sex, LSD is forced to either be themselves but be single or attempt to pretend they're not who they really are to stand a chance to con someone of their opposite sex to consider them as soul mate candidate.

The natural nemesis of LSD (which they hate passionately) are the Smiley peoples. Smiley people are in simple English, happy and optimistic in life peoples. A common misconception is that Smiley people are mutually exclusive from the LSD peoples, which is a huge area of debate as "happiness is a state of mind rather then consequence of the state you are in". Hence one can be in reality is a LSD but due to the power of mind, create the illusion one is happy hence fulfilling the requirement to be categorized as a Smiley people. This argument has lead LSD hardcore people to fondly and sarcastically call the Smiley people as DIBB (DIBB is often purposely mispronounced as Dick) which is abbreviated from Disillusioned Ignorant Blissful Bastard. Smiley people often retaliated to this mockery by happily calling LSD people as "Sour Pussies"


Excerpt from "Hitchhiker Guide to Single Loserhood" page 76:

LSD peoples have a knack to feel depressed or to be more exact more depressed than usual during the following holidays:

• Valentine Day
• Christmas
• New Year
• Easter
• S.A.D (Single Awareness Day)

Bakau Kor, controversial and maverick activist of the "Stop being a DIBB" movement and also a LSD himself claimed these holidays is a classical self-deceiving propaganda created by DIBB to fool themselves into thinking they are happy. "Personally I don't really care if these dick wanna pretend/act/disillusion to be happy but this 'I'm happy' holiday shit is affecting LSD as well. These dick would paste shitty fake jovial comments and photos in facebook, twitter and what ever social networking crap they daily use to fabricate a 'happy' life and when LSD people will see this shit, they are unable to create a fake 'happy' mood and fall into even deeper depression. How more selfish can one be? We should include a S for Selfish into DIBB and call them DIBBS instead!"   

On a rather funny side note, one of these jovial holidays has also draw the ire of former famous cartoon character, Bugs Bunny. "Eh... wassup DIBB!?  Why do they need to create the damn Easter holiday? It's bad enough these looney live in a fake world but do they need create a happy bunny that distribute chocolate eggs to children? Do they even know rabbits don't lay eggs, more so CHOCOLATE eggs? A Easter Hen would still be stupid but at least it make more sense. To top it all up, these DIBB really ought to put more effort into their holiday creation thingy, I mean common... just change the happy bunny into a happy fatass, change chocolate eggs to presents... Wala, Christmas... Simply plain f*cking lazy..."

Excerpt from "Hitchhiker Guide to Single Loserhood" page 80:

Christmas, a holiday created to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. While in reality, no one knows the exact date Jesus was born, Christians in general decided it was simply convenient to simply randomly declare 25 December as Jesus Christ's birthday. During the Christmas eve, by tradition family and friend would get together for a turkey dinner. On the Christmas morning, people would exchange presents to show they care for each other. It's a common trend now day to have a countdown event where a bunch of people would gather at a place with a big timer and celebrate the arrival of Christmas together. "A day where we MUST be jovial and nice to others... This stinks of a dick I'm so familiar of" a LSD lady whom refused to have her identity revealed here revealed.

Another point of criticism resolves around the superhero of Christmas himself. The iconic fat man named Santa Claus is believed to be a convenient fabricated fusion of Saint Nicholas, Odin and Father Christmas. Many LSD people have harshly criticized the propaganda of Santa Claus giving presents only to good child, calling for the public to stop discriminating upon children. "It's bad enough we're already have religion, race, skin color crap going on, and now we want to add another category to further split the human race again? Top philosophers have debated what is good for centuries and none have come up with a definite conclusion on what is good... Now we're asking children to be good when no one knows what it is? Truth is we're not asking children to be good, we're just asking them to be follow our fabricated society norm." 


While some points raise by LSD people make sense, others are just plain bullsh*t... I personally think LSD peoples just as disillusioned as DIBB peoples. They're just using their criticisms as a mean to fabricate a "distraction" from being depressed, just like how I'm using writing this garbage blog entry to distract myself from feeling depressed.