Hypocrite

I hereby admit I'm a f*ckin hypocrite. Despite swearing never to get involve in any MLM software business anymore, I took up a MLM webapp freelance project from one of my senior. I even fear I maybe gone overboard in taking this project as I'm expected to even write bonus calculation program which I have no experience doing before (Hard to believe ya, 2 years yet no experience calculating bonus). The last 2 week been a very stressful period for me as I had to juggle time to handle my work responsibilities as well as this freelance project. The funny thing though is that in terms of priority, I seem to put this freelance project on the higher "Need to finish" ladder than my normal work tasks. Why? Probably becoz if I screw up this freelance job, my senior is gonna end up taking the rap due to me. I dun really mind taking the rap due to screwing up a task assign to me (Ok, maybe I will get depress), but I really think it's a no-no for someone else to take the rap due to my mistake.

My new work really is starting to make me more and more depress. I'm really struggling to cope with IBM portal technology. I mean, why don't IBM just prepare a proper manual of the functions in IBM portal instead having info center that just have brief explanation on the function? While it's good to have simple example to demonstrate the usage of these functions, it's rarely the scenario in real project you can use the functions like the examples. What if I wanna use a different look for my page pagination instead of the quick and easy provided one? Any suggested answers in the info center? Nope... How bout the community? The module I'm working on (aka IBM Portal WCM) in my opinion have a very scarce community. Spent more time finding how to use the provided functions than doing the configuration itself...