Saturday, May 29, 2010 0 b*tchin

Running Blues...

Dear bloggie,

Yea, 2nd run of the year is cumming up next week... Went to pickup my bib and vest at Setia Alam Welcome Center tis afternoon. The vest is really... ugh... too light blue for my liking. Strangely, the size "L" seems a tad too big for me, especially at the armpits. The vest however is made from pretty good material, which is a shame since the overall design of the vest also quite nice (simple and clean) but too bad the too light blue color sorta makes the design can't see. Wouldn't mind trading tis vest for the more greenish vest which is for female runners.

Anyway, true to my custom of making lame@$$ poses with these vests...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 2 b*tchin

Free Magic

Dear bloggie,

Yes, found a Magic The Gathering freeware s/w that allows u to play for fun and "free" against a fairly challenging computer AI (Maybe challenging coz I just started playing again, so rusty de). Written in Java (Suxor UI) but hey, it's free so can't complain much. By default, the card just got description no image, need download the images on separate pack and update into the program. With a deck editor with over 3K cards, I think is very good alternative for those that dun wanna fork $$$ to buy cards but wanna play MTG.

Can grab it here
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 0 b*tchin

Love Attachments

Dear bloggie,

No, I dun love attachments... But I decided to trash my earlier post to pave way for this post.

"Love Attachments"

To unbewilder those that thinking wtf in chihuahua am I b*tchin about, I think I'll go for the jugular... Those bf/gf, hubby/wife, les/gay partners kinda relationship. My conclusion is really this kinda things are really contradicting and f*ckin messy shit that defies logic, reasoning and as well as planet earth's gravity... Heck, what do you expect? It stems from "Love", and we all know how chaotic that anything associated with that element can be.

Ok, this all started from a chat with MFR. A chat on "spanaring" someone that's already attached. That chat never went far since both MFR and I are complete losers that don't have the looks, charms nor mooney to "spanar" someone. That chat however stirred my curiosity on this particular topic. The moral dilemma in "spanaring" someone attached.

Most people I find seem to think this "spanaring" act as something bad but for me, as I stated earlier, I personally find this dilemma very contradicting. I find myself unable to actually say if this act is right or wrong. Now before you scream "Stake and burn this witch!!!" or "Send this heretic to the gallows!!!", let me b*tch on the arguments & counter arguments that made me sit on the fence on this issue.

I start with the moral argument on the mind of most people when asked to give their thoughts on this issue. It's unethical to spanar someone attached cause their A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D! B*atch/B*tch, your wrecking someone's home! How do you feel if someone spanar your gf, not happy right, so don't to others what you don't want others do to you! Well, these are a few of the moral arguments against tis act. Most states we should back off someone's property and only go for it once the lovebirds declared their relationship has ended, anything before that is like poking your @rse into the fireplace. There's also the rather absurd opinion that if you managed to spanar someone, what makes you think that someone will remain loyal and won't be spanar by someone else?

Now, personally I probably will be f*ckin pissed off if say I imagine someone imaginary is to spanar away my imaginary gf. I would probably feel like how I would feel had someone took my dinner table at a time slot I reserved a long long time ago. However since I have a rather f*rked up Moral Compass, here's some counter argument I managed to forked up against the moral argument crap. Ultimately, a relationship is really a 2 way thing. It applies to gf/bf and it also applies to this spanar act. It takes 2 to tango, well in this case, 2 to spanar. Besides, that someone you wanna spanar isn't a property (I draw the line at marriage though), it's a person. And there's the saying "All's fair in the game of love".

Moving on from spanar, to the main topic itself, Love Attachments. When you make such attachment or commitment, what happens when the unexpected happens?

What if you suddenly wake up one morning and discover you no longer love your partner or spouse? Do you continue on pretending you still love them in an attempt to honor the commitment or end it? In other words, do you eat your commitment or do you eat yourself? Complicated isn't it? And I haven't even thrown in the "what if there are kids already" into the mix.

Young lovers seek perfection. Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches. What this sentence means is there is no such thing a perfect love (as promoted by the evil Hollywood movies), but rather such relationship is really a give and take thingy. In other words, compromise. Let's face it, a relationship is like a roller coaster ride, there will be ups and downs. If one really isn't ready to compromise, tis roller coaster ride is gonna be a short one indeed.

While compromise is important, where do we draw the line in compromising? Returning to the question earlier "When you wake up one day... blablabla... you no longer love your partner or spouse or etc", is it right to compromise? Maybe tomorrow when I wake up I would love her/him again? Do anyone dare say such thing is impossible? By the high rate of divorce now days, I have to say more and more people don't really think we should draw a long line for compromise. Can I blame them? Not really. I mean, we all want a great life. We deserve to seek a great life. Our partner or spouse deserves a great life. To guise our self into making our partner or spouse we still love them when we don't, I think isn't right.

Having said that, I often ponder upon those Hollywood stars that get married as fast as they get break up. I ponder are these peoples wise sages or stupid fools. Why do I consider them as wise sages? Because they understand relationship isn't permanent. We hook up, we try to make it work and sometimes we just aren't meant for each other, we get bummed and get hurt, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to find the perfect one for us. If it there is someone that is perfect match for you out there, isn't it worth it to take that risk, even if it means going through 100 breakups in the process to find that special someone? Life is short and we shouldn't settle for anything less (Though reality is we can't always get what we want, but tis is about chasing after what you want rather than getting what you want).

I end this VERY long rant with a quote which I think offers some closure on the topic of "Love Attachments":

"I know our marriage has as good of a chance of being wonderful as it does missing the mark. However, I'm banking on our love for each other to weigh a bit heavier on the wonderful side. As Anna says about making a quilt, you have to choose your combination carefully. The right choices will enhance your quilt. The wrong choices will dull the colors, hide their original beauty. There are no rules you can follow. You have to go by your instinct. And you have to be brave." - Finn Dodd, How to Make an American Quilt
Monday, May 24, 2010 0 b*tchin

The greatest equation

Dear bloggie,

"What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken me to the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. I have made the most important discovery of my career - the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reason can be found. I am only here tonight because of you" - John Nash, A Beautiful Mind

Very inspiring movie...
Saturday, May 22, 2010 0 b*tchin

Shortlisted

Dear bloggie,

A bit mixed feeling. Been just informed I been shortlisted. Quite a surprise considering how f*cked up I performed in the technical test (Even though I wiped the floor for the math questions)... This can either mean 2 things:

1. I didn't did as bad as I think I did
2. Desperate Housewifes Employers

Bye bye late night TV and p0rn...
Bye bye late mornings...
Bye bye afternoon yoga classes...
Bye bye fitness...
Bye bye hermitage...
Bye bye freedom...
Bye bye to everything this 1 year I had...

Hello rat maze...
Hello cubicle...
Hello weekend OT...
Hello 9 to 6...
Hello money...

Like I said, mixed reaction on this news.
Friday, May 21, 2010 3 b*tchin

Guns

Dear bloggie,

Just finish doing my arms workout... Checkout my guns, dudes...



My water gun... LOL

FYI, guns is term in body building for arms. So when ppl boosting "Checkout my guns, dude!", they're asking u to ogle, envy and drool at their gigantic arms. However mine guns are still like chicken wings, no need ogle , envy and drool... U can just laugh instead at it...

Anyway, here's my thoughts on my progress:

Shoulder: Quite satisfied. Lateral and front part coming quite ok, still need work on balancing the rear part of the shoulder.

Biceps: Strength improve quite a lot but mass not sure

Triceps: Strength and mass improve only a bit only. Surely most lagging muscle part. Since tis part is 2/3 of the arm (Big arms = Train Triceps), is certain the reason why my arm looks small.

Brachialis: Started to pop up de. This is a small piece of bugle muscle in between the biceps and triceps that can be developed via hammers curls. Why izt good to develop this muscle? Because when this bugle get bigger, it will push the biceps and triceps muscle outwards and give the illusion your arm is bigger.

Forearm: No physical changes. Expected since no train this part. Actually got train but indirectly only. Don't want Popeye arms so will no train till biceps and triceps bigger.

So did my arm grew bigger? I not so sure also... I notice more curves la, but maybe it's fat lost instead of muscle growth. Either that, or I'm disillusion on these curves...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010 0 b*tchin

Action and Effect

Dear bloggie,

Found a phrase I really like that portrays my belief on action and effect.

"Live with cause and leave results to the great law of the universe." - Zen Koan, No Attachment to Dust.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 0 b*tchin

Robin Conwood

Dear bloggie,

Went to watch Robin Hood last Sunday... Here is a short youtube video on the best part of this movie:

Thursday, May 13, 2010 0 b*tchin

Building A Mystery

Dear bloggie,

An awesome performance from Sarah McLachlan... A folk rock song that received "Zzz..." rating from a particular MFR.



Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan

You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
And the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You strut your rasta wear
And your suicide poem
And a cross from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?

You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
but so careful
When I'm in your arms

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You woke up screaming aloud
A prayer from your secret god
You feed off our fears
And hold back your tears, oh
Give us a tantrum
And a know it all grin
Just when we need one
When the evening's thin

You're a beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You're setting up your
Razor wire shrine

Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Ooh you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You're building a mystery
0 b*tchin

All I need to know

Dear bloggie,

Heard tis song in the radio and I personally wondered how true the message this song is trying to pass on?



Don't Know Much - Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville

Look at this face,
I know the years are showing.
Look at this life,
I still don't know where it's going.
I don't know much,
But I know I love you.
That may be,
All I need to know.

Look at these eyes,
They never seen what matters.
Look at these dreams,
So beaten and so battered.
I don't know much,
But I know I love you.
That may be,
All I need to know.

So many questions,
Still left unanswered.
So much I've never broken through.
And when I feel you near me,
Sometimes I see so clearly.
That only truth I'll never know,
Is me and you.

Look at this man,
So blessed with inspiration.
Look at this soul,
Still searching for salvation.
I don't know much
But I know I love you.
That may be,
All I need to know.

I don't know much,
But I know I love you.
That may be,
All there is to know.

I LOLed when I saw tis particular remark on tis video:
"i really wish one of the verses began with Aaron singing, 'Look at my pecks'"

#Note: Pecs = Chest Muscle
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 0 b*tchin

Henshin

Dear bloggie,

Another landmark in Kamen Rider, Kamen Rider W henshin ala Akiko style...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 0 b*tchin

Milkshakes

Dear bloggie,

Next time anyone of u f*ckers are enjoying a McD milkshake with ur wife/gf/gay partner/hooker/watever, u can show (or rather fake) how romantic u are by reciting tis poem:

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

In case u wondering, yea... I didn't write tis poem one... Taken from Before Sunrise...
Monday, May 10, 2010 0 b*tchin

Fenomena

Dear bloggie,

Manyak manyak rock n roll okaaayyyy...


Fenomena - Search

Kau gengam perasaan ku,
Bila kau hampir kepadaku,

Kemarau di dalam dada,
Basah bagaikan disirami

Bayangmu sekilas datang,
Mengangguku dalam lena,
Sulitnya memikirkan perasaan,
Ini datang...

Kau bawa,
Fenomena...
Di jiwa,
Fenomena...
Kau cipta,
Fenomena...
Indah amat mengasyikkan,

Bayangmu sekilas datang,
Mengangguku dalam lena,
Sulitnya memikirkan perasaan,
Ini datang...

Kau bawa,
Fenomena...
Di jiwa,
Fenomena...
Kau cipta,
Fenomena...
Indah amat mengasyikkan.
Sunday, May 9, 2010 0 b*tchin

Will Slave for Freedom

Dear bloggie,

Decided to change goal from finding a job that will give me a balance in life to one that will bring in the most $$$. Fark to all the philosophical crap about "money is not everything". Freedom has a price tag and at the moment, I way too far away from being able to buy my freedom...
Saturday, May 8, 2010 0 b*tchin

Purpose in life?

Dear bloggie,

Yamada : I thought that Hagu-chan was in love with Morita-san...
Mayama : She is in love with him.
Yamada : Then why?
Mayama : I think it's a matter of what's her purpose in life is.
Yamada : Purpose in life?
Mayama : Yeah. Love is the reason for some, but not for others. Hagu-chan is motivated by her desire to accomplish something... I believe.
Yamada : Is that more important than love?
Mayama : It's not a matter of which one is more important or right. It's not a act of selfishness either. She chooses distinctively before she has time to think it through.

A short conversation between Yamada and Mayama on Hagu's decision to follow her uncle back to her hometown to recover her injured hand to paint again instead of following Morita and give up her life as a painter.

I personally agree with Mayama's point of view, in the end of the day, it really comes down to where or what you want in your life. Career, Romance, Health, Family, Fame, Fortune, etc?
Friday, May 7, 2010 1 b*tchin

Love Dr Suke

Dear bloggie,

I actually wanted to b*tch bout how I somehow managed to hit the 63kg (Yea, finally!) weight mark recently but a short chat with exiled monk now Love Dr Suke changed my mind to post our lame conversation instead.



This bugger has been quite "cheng" lately, especially with his sex vacation with his recently confirmed gf to Indonesia looming just around the corner. Not to mention last week boozing session where MFR drunken after just drinking a glass of cheap champagne laughed at something that ain't "FUNNY", that gives this bugger some leverage against my mocking in msn.
Thursday, May 6, 2010 0 b*tchin

Random Thought...

Dear bloggie,

Who am I?

A KCKL loser?
A slacker?
A nihilist?
A son?
A grandson?
A union of a sperm and ovary?
A man?
An animal?
A monkey?
An organism?
A mere pawn in the greater design of things?
A creator of my own destiny?
A purposeless being?
A puppet?
An actor?
A drifter?
A dreamer?
A character in someone's dream?
A living being?
An adventurer?
A lost soul?
A hermit?
A monk?
A fool?
A product of my environment?
A sum of the past, present and future me?
An manifestation of my ego?
A chemical reaction of neurons in my brain?
An ant?
A depressed man?
A man with no goal?
A citizen of Selangor?
A Malaysian?
An Asian?
A Chinese?
A descendant of Adam and Eve?
A creation of God?
A product of the evolution of mankind?
A byproduct of the evolution of mankind?
A mistake of the evolution of mankind?
A reincarnation of someone?
A rat in the rat maze?
A programmer?
A Computer Science degree holder?
An ex student of High School Klang?
An adult?
A kid?
A man suffering for early age crisis?
A MFR wannabe?
A nutcase?
A philosopher?
A pretender?

I guess I don't really know myself at all...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010 0 b*tchin

Grief

Dear bloggie,

Just a random rant on...

Five Stages Of Grief
  1. Denial and Isolation.
    At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

  2. Anger.
    The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

  3. Bargaining.
    Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

  4. Depression.
    The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

  5. Acceptance.
    This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010 0 b*tchin

TX2 Tiger Show

Dear bloggie,

Was laughing my @$rse when I saw Rina Omar in 8TV Nite Live awhile ago going "amok" in her Tiger Show Clip...



WTF!? LOL... Banyak banyak ganas, tis performance....

Anyway, the other performance from the artists for this "Save Tiger" campaign...







WTF!? Whose Tiger izt anyway?



Personally, I think Rina Omar's acoustic is the best but hey, speaking of tiger, why this particular "wild" tiger is MIA one?



Checkout the tiger show gig at www.TX2.my/tigershow
Monday, May 3, 2010 0 b*tchin

Cewolf Axis

Dear bloggie,

Since I believe in give and take... Tis is a technical rant on how to configure Cewolf to render the chart axis according to ur needs.

<cewolf:chart
id="line"
title="Company Share Price"
type="timeseries"
xaxislabel="Date"
yaxislabel="Price">
<cewolf:data>
<cewolf:producer id="pageViews"/>
</cewolf:data>

<cewolf:chartpostprocessor id="dataColor" >
<cewolf:param name="0" value='<%= "#FF0000" %>'/>
</cewolf:chartpostprocessor>
</cewolf:chart>

To modify the chart setup, you need tis line
<cewolf:chartpostprocessor id="dataColor" >

U also need write an class that implements ChartPostProcessor and throw that object into ur session under the name "dataColor" (Up to u for name, just make sure match the id). Then u need implement the method processChart(Object obj, Map map). The obj paramter here can be cast into a JFreeChart object which allows u access to tons of setting objects.

For instance, if you wanna modify the y-axis's min and max values,

JFreeChart chart = (JFreeChart) obj;
XYPlot plot = (XYPlot) chart.getPlot();

NumberAxis rangeAxis = (NumberAxis) plot.getRangeAxis();
rangeAxis.setRange(1, 10);

This will make the stupid chart y-axis to be limited to 1 to 10.

And to enforce the interval so we don't have a random auto generated fugly y-axis value like 0.175 or 1.125

rangeAxis.setTickUnit(new NumberTickUnit(0.5));

Tis line of code will enforce the chart to follow a 0.5 scale. Meaning 1, 1.5, 2, 2.5, ..., 10.

I actually spent a couple of days hunting the www to find how to the stunts above.

And believe me, not an easy task with the lack of documentation and tutorial in Cewolf official website. Personally, I still don't like Cewolf as there is need to extends and implements quite a number of classes, not to mention understand the classes architecture. Compare that to Google Chart super clean API... Too bad the monkeys ruling China have bad blood with Google... Aiii.. sometimes I think programming isn't really the art of finding the best solution but rather navigate between crap like vendors power play, idiotic country IT policies, browsers refusal to follow standards and etc...

As House said "We become doctors to treat illness. Patients are why most doctors are miserable." Doesn't the same applies to our profession as well?
Sunday, May 2, 2010 0 b*tchin

XX-XX-XXXX

Dear bloggie,

Was a syok sendiri MFR today... Also burnt a rather big hole in my wallet due to yesterday booze session and today's MFR session...

Anyway, the only song tat I am able to sing without entirely sounding like a robot...