U sux

Dear bloggie,

During my latest appraisal, my boss told me "U Sux"...

Well, she didn't say explicitly but I can paham paham la... Frankly speaking, probably the worst appraisal I endured in my career.

I'm far from the model worker, but heck... I complete most of my task on time. I always hold the belief that as long I can do that, I can always be the average performance worker. Guess I was wrong.

I got shoot for my work attitude. Eventually, she said I draw a too strict line for responsibility. And example was when I found a certain shortcoming in the system, I merely raise it to the PO. She say I didn't see through the issue, by ensuring the QA log tat shortcoming and etc. Also she say I don't update the wiki I wrote 1/2 year ago. This one really stunned me coz I never expected I was given ownership over the lousy wiki I can assigned to write. I thought it was a one write deal... No one told me I was to update it over time... Considering how many wikis (by the big shots programmers) that are also left outdated, I'm rather taken aback by this particular comment. Finally, she say I also didn't go aid in maintenance of the product built and CQ (Code Quality). I always assumed it's the role of whoever that commits to take care they don't break the built but seems she expect me to also look into it when other people break the built. As for CQ, I dunno wat to say also cause if she really go and checkout how many PMD and Checkstyle sh*t I cleanup, I doubt she would be saying tis to me but yes, I admit I don't "usually" cleanup other people components...

Then I also got shot for being too passive. She say I don't really fight for any user story during planning. I don't fight because the story are typically the same thing, component printing, add new text field, add validation, add checkbox... I'm unable to really motivate myself to fight for such tasks. It seems she wants me to fight for those big user story with high impact which she usually assigns to the seniors. If you want me to take up this story, just assign it to me lor... If you don't tell me, how I know u want me to step up and pickup this stories considering these stories are usually assigned to the seniors? I also got rapped for not asking question on domain which I don't understand. This I admit, I'm guilty... I long gave up trying to understand the whole pile of interaction between 3-4 products with their different lingo and technology used.

Lastly, I got fried for my over dependence on the acceptance criteria. She say I do my work mainly based on it and don't really clarify things. I too spoon fed... I was under the impression that it's the PO's or whoever in charge to prepare this acceptance criteria (My prev team lead refuses to do anything that is not in written in the acceptance criteria). After all, our developer works will be done based on this criteria. While I admit, some minor details will be added into the criteria due discoveries that developers found during development, but I still think the main chunk of acceptance criteria should be written before development rather then added during development time. She relates this to a incident where a component was added with a state combo box. The acceptance criteria was attached with only the new xml deployment for the new state. The PO send me some sample files but being the lazy jerk I'm, I asked the PO if there are any changes to the old state and was given a "no" answer, so I didn't look beyond the new deployment state. I'm kicking myself for not better covering cahcheng as it was done casually in messenger with no history record. Yet again, I doubt even if I shown the history to my team lead, I would not be blamed for properly checking the old state deployment xml myself.

So after a long winding indirect "U Sux" appraisal... She brought up the fact skill wise I'm ok. Most task thrown at me is delivered in time thought she say I can improve my code quality.

Finally to end the review, She told me she is giving me a 3/5 for performance but she say it more closer to a 2/5. In short she giving me 3/5 out of kesian. I have rather mixed feelings at that moment... A part of my feel like resigning while another pathetic self actually feel grateful for her kesian.

I admit I might be too emotional at the moment on shifting the blame. I don't deny I might be at fault as well, but I'd be lying to say I'm happy. However I have gave my word I would try to rectified my faults, so I would try fulfill my promise... If in 1/2 year she still ain't satisfy, I have decided to just resign. Guess the prediction for dog this year is rather true... Bad...