Emo @ Work

Dear bloggie,

The last few weeks been a f*cking hard week. Why? Mostly work issue... Having thrown my letter to management, a few days later, due to the number of people doing the same as well, the big boss of this department came down to try to come up with a win-win situation. After some interview and discussion with the all parties a compromise was reached... A few days later, a staff meeting was held with good news that they will compensate for the no bonus this year due to s/w sales no meeting it's mark by a salary increase adjustment to market price (Wat ever market price is).  A day later, 70-80% people retracted their resignation letter, word is management "shown" them their "adjustment". I however wasn't even offer such proposition (Well, it's not like I would retract even if they offer me it, but it sorta stabs a hole in my self confidence for my contributions to this company, not to mention my dumb thinking of accepting a below market price salary when I worked here).

Well, to make matters worst, I seem to come under the firing range of my superior lately as well. Call it f*ck luck, a bug of mine which I was fixing really made me tear my hair (yea, still got some hair left) due to some framework changes. To fix my bug, I had to comply with the changes in framework which resulted in a f*ckin mess. By complying to the framework "fix", I practically had 2 same bugs that show different outcome due to the older solution become backward incompatible due to the "fix". Today, they announce, they fixed the framework and we need to revert all the "fix". God knows, wat kinda behavior my 2 bugs are gonna display now.

Team planning, was put in cold storage... Fine with me, doing small story and fix bugs... Then got criticize for my bug which was a behavior not covered in my user story acceptance criteria. I recall getting this bug and a brief talk with the bug logger and my team lead gave me the behavior for that scenario. Explaining the fix to the team, my team lead "question" why the fix behave such way. I felt like giving a tie slap, but part of my mistake as I didn't cover my ass by adding a remark "Team lead confirmed behavior XXX" in the bug. Some of my colleague sympathized on my predicament came to my aid to defend my argument on my fix, but to no avail.

Then moving on to another bug, which they try to generate something and the system just ended the task without generating anything but no display any error message (Due to null pointer exception). I easily pint point the problem as the 2 peoples that "engineered" the whole process didn't even bother to assigning some values required for the generation. I felt like banging my head to the wall when I got rap for not having adding any validation to the generation. Some of u may probably think, "Yea, why didn't u add any validation". Call me to obsess with "whose responsibility" , but if u want something added in does it make sense to tell me you want it in to begin with especially when there's like a f*ckin prerequisite that states I can assume the damn user assign those values in the story. I recall being told validation not required when I did the code. Yes, yes... Stupid stupid me not to documenting down what was verbally told to me. Yet, again I foresee myself still getting rap even if I document it down as by "code ownership" argument, I should raise this lack of validation issue. Yes, we "own code"  here...

I get my arse f*cked during appraisal for being a damn code monkey, writing code based on acceptance criteria. Never thinking myself if the criteria make sense of not. Always expecting to be feed a IN and OUT scenario to validate my work, never thinking of my own scenario. So recently I log a bug (Yes, we developers are currently doubling as QAs as well) for a scenario that not covered in the acceptance criteria, I get the simple "that scenario not cover".

My morale is super low at the moment... Just hope to complete my remaining time in peace here.