Dear bloggie,
How times fly noes? Was digging my drawer when I saw tis...
My old college ID card... Hard to believe it has already been like 8-9 years ago...
Personally I think I look alot younger in this picture (most my olds frens now say I look more "mature", which actually means I look like a geezer), and not forgetting my hair was abundance (tarik from side can cover face, now like sahara desert got a few cactus left)...
Having compare my dashing looks, so what else is different from my younger self? For starters, while most of u can't see, I'm weight more now (not fatter but more buff OK!)... It's like comparing the incredible stick men and the amazing spiderman.... I probably got more "T" as well (Note: T = Testosterone) and think I still can throw a wicked electrifying eye contact (which tends to frighten most chicks to flee)...
That's physical differences, how about mind and spirit? Spiritually I'm corrupted by "The Capitalism". Have so many desires (desire = suffering) Money, Girl, House, Girl, Car, Girl, Status, Girl, Sex, Girl... I recall my younger self being more in tune with "Zen" having less desires.... Probably have to blame my younger self for being so ambitious less which result in my depressing state of being...
F*CK U YOUNG BOY!
WHY THE F*CK U DIDN'T KAU LUI BACK THEN!?
WHY DIDN'T U PICK A BETTER CAREER FIELD!?
WHY DIDN'T U BUY MORE 4 EKOR!?
Now I got that outta my chest, I also change a bit in terms of taste. I used to favor less bright color like blue, gray, black... Now however I'm find flashy bright colors like red, orange, gold as acceptable.
In terms of fashion, I don't think I changed much, still favor simple t-shirts but maybe I'm leaning more towards slim-fit size more compared to baggy size which I used to favor (more muscle to show de mah, lol)... I do find myself less incline to wear jeans de, find denim material too hot and uncomfortable to wear.
Car preference leh, I still like classic sporty car design like RX-6, Lancer, etc compared to those modern fat curve cars design like vios, myvi, city, etc but I have respect for small fat@$$ car like Myvi since very convenient to drive and park.
Well, when it comes to the big topic like girl, I'm still single and romantically hopeless... More of my friends (not to mention anyone) around my age is probably married and have 1-2 parasites de or have a galfren de... But here I am, a social outcast... The reality of living the rest of my life single don't seem so impossible anymore....
Attitude wise, I probably more depressed than I was back then but I think my depression peak was probably 1-2 years ago... Who knows, maybe it will hit another all time high this year.... I'm less nihilist and perhaps believe more in fate and destiny now. Believe more in one should participate in life despite whatever reality (our live is fated or our live is our own creation). Wiser now perhaps I am... More aware of my mortality, flaws and uniqueness (or how freaky I am)...
So at the end of the long comparison, I have to ask myself the question...
If I had a chance to restart my live from 8-9 years ago how would I relive it?
While I may b*tch I would do tis and tat differently, I personally think I would most likely relive it exactly as I had, but maybe with some minor changes... Guess despite the crap/shit I experienced this past 8-9 years, deep inside me, I come to appreciate these crap/shit as things that not only mold but reveal to me, who I really am (despite me being a pile of crap/shit, lol).
"Everything is always a give-take, you gain something, you loss something else"
If often the case, are we able stay compose when we loss something to see the thing we gain in return...
Ending this entry, here an oldies song:
Carpenters - Yesterday Once More
When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.
Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.
When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.
Lookin' back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed.
It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away.
Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.
All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry.
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.
I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile.
Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well.
Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.
When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.
Lookin' back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed.
It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away.
Every sha-la-la-la
Every wo-o-wo-o
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're startin' to sing's
So fine.
All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry.
Just like before
It's yesterday once more.
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