I hereby admit I'm a f*ckin hypocrite. Despite swearing never to get involve in any MLM software business anymore, I took up a MLM webapp freelance project from one of my senior. I even fear I maybe gone overboard in taking this project as I'm expected to even write bonus calculation program which I have no experience doing before (Hard to believe ya, 2 years yet no experience calculating bonus). The last 2 week been a very stressful period for me as I had to juggle time to handle my work responsibilities as well as this freelance project. The funny thing though is that in terms of priority, I seem to put this freelance project on the higher "Need to finish" ladder than my normal work tasks. Why? Probably becoz if I screw up this freelance job, my senior is gonna end up taking the rap due to me. I dun really mind taking the rap due to screwing up a task assign to me (Ok, maybe I will get depress), but I really think it's a no-no for someone else to take the rap due to my mistake.
My new work really is starting to make me more and more depress. I'm really struggling to cope with IBM portal technology. I mean, why don't IBM just prepare a proper manual of the functions in IBM portal instead having info center that just have brief explanation on the function? While it's good to have simple example to demonstrate the usage of these functions, it's rarely the scenario in real project you can use the functions like the examples. What if I wanna use a different look for my page pagination instead of the quick and easy provided one? Any suggested answers in the info center? Nope... How bout the community? The module I'm working on (aka IBM Portal WCM) in my opinion have a very scarce community. Spent more time finding how to use the provided functions than doing the configuration itself...
There is a place I’m longing for tonight,
A place I love so far, far away.
There lives in my heart a treasure buried deep inside,
And I’ll keep wondering until I find it again someday.
Somewhere the flowers are in bloom,
A candle burning in a room.
There is comfort in the darkest night,
Even if there is no star in sight.
Every time I close my eyes it’s all I see,
I am haunted by a timeless memory.
And no matter what I do or where I roam,
I will still be dreaming my way home.
Time froze but I kept moving on,
All I have loved, all I have known.
I turned around and in a moment it was gone,
Still I believe I’m never far from home.
Somewhere the flowers are in bloom,
I can almost smell their perfume.
Somewhere a candle, still burning bright,
Even if there is no star in sight.
Every time I close my eyes it’s all I see,
I am haunted by a timeless memory.
And no matter what I do or where I roam,
I will still be dreaming my way home.
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like Im headed for a breakdown
And I dont know why
[chorus]
But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
Im talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know theyve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow Ive lost my mind
[chorus]
But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Ive been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon theyll come to get me
Yeah, theyre taking me away
[chorus]
But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, Im just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
Im just a little unwell
Whenever I think bout time, I always feel depress.
It's such a great thing yet at the same time, such a frightening thing.
There won't be another nanosecond like the nanosecond that just passed by.
So scary, yet at the same time so beautiful.
It continues to flow like a river does.
Some of us merely drift along the flows of this great river,
Do you know the feel of letting your body drift along a river?
I never drifted along a real river,
but I imagine it feeling something like seeing your surrounding change while you remain stagnant.
Appreciate not the remaining time left in your life,
Rather appreciate the life left in your remaining time,
A rather interesting phrase I heard on the radio.
Understanding the value of time, I'm constantly depress...
I'm depress cause of I know.
I already used up around half of my time, perhaps more...
Yet then why am I still at the middle of nowhere, with no destination in mind still...
It's such a great thing yet at the same time, such a frightening thing.
There won't be another nanosecond like the nanosecond that just passed by.
So scary, yet at the same time so beautiful.
It continues to flow like a river does.
Some of us merely drift along the flows of this great river,
Do you know the feel of letting your body drift along a river?
I never drifted along a real river,
but I imagine it feeling something like seeing your surrounding change while you remain stagnant.
Appreciate not the remaining time left in your life,
Rather appreciate the life left in your remaining time,
A rather interesting phrase I heard on the radio.
Understanding the value of time, I'm constantly depress...
I'm depress cause of I know.
I already used up around half of my time, perhaps more...
Yet then why am I still at the middle of nowhere, with no destination in mind still...
I haven't been such frustrated for quite a long time. First of all, I just got off a f*ckin 2 hours journey back home from a f*ckin stupid jam in Klang.
Why Jam!? Some ppl say jam coz alot of cars. I say bullshit! Jam coz f*ckin retarded drivers. Car broken down at emergency lane, why wanna keh poh!? MCH! Unless u wanna stop to help the driver, pls la... Keep u f*ckin eyes on the road! Wanna drive slow, pls la go left lane, u hog right lane for wat? Wanna cut in ppl lane atleast pls give signal, just go in middle of two lanes and expect the driver behind u to mind read where u wanna go ar? Gong CB! No. 2, rain de y always need to jam? I understand tat our country water drainage system is f*cked up but common la, 1 hour jam for less than 4 km? Lucky I make u-turn use another route tat need pay toll else dunno jam how long.
No. 3, Toll. I can't believe how these crooks get away with it. It enuff bad we have to pay these highwayman and their f*ckin Ingapolingeh tai koh money each time we wanna use *their* road, but imagine needing to queue to pay them as if we owe them one. Sad. No. 4, Imagine my utter surprise when I paid a f*ckin expensive Rm 2.70 toll and found out that the damn highway dun even have lamp post. When I say no lamp post, I meant completely didn't plan to put any at all, not rosak or wat. I pay, I wait, I drive in the dark... Awesome....
No. 5, IBM portal... I feel very tulan trying to adapt to this technology. Maybe I'm still new to it and need more time to adapt to it but I really feel like scratching my head to even perform the easy task like redirecting. Unlike normal programming where I can code away to solve my problem, I need to dig IBM Info Center to find out how to solve my problem. And I'm ain't very fond of their Info Center style of documentation.
Why Jam!? Some ppl say jam coz alot of cars. I say bullshit! Jam coz f*ckin retarded drivers. Car broken down at emergency lane, why wanna keh poh!? MCH! Unless u wanna stop to help the driver, pls la... Keep u f*ckin eyes on the road! Wanna drive slow, pls la go left lane, u hog right lane for wat? Wanna cut in ppl lane atleast pls give signal, just go in middle of two lanes and expect the driver behind u to mind read where u wanna go ar? Gong CB! No. 2, rain de y always need to jam? I understand tat our country water drainage system is f*cked up but common la, 1 hour jam for less than 4 km? Lucky I make u-turn use another route tat need pay toll else dunno jam how long.
No. 3, Toll. I can't believe how these crooks get away with it. It enuff bad we have to pay these highwayman and their f*ckin Ingapolingeh tai koh money each time we wanna use *their* road, but imagine needing to queue to pay them as if we owe them one. Sad. No. 4, Imagine my utter surprise when I paid a f*ckin expensive Rm 2.70 toll and found out that the damn highway dun even have lamp post. When I say no lamp post, I meant completely didn't plan to put any at all, not rosak or wat. I pay, I wait, I drive in the dark... Awesome....
No. 5, IBM portal... I feel very tulan trying to adapt to this technology. Maybe I'm still new to it and need more time to adapt to it but I really feel like scratching my head to even perform the easy task like redirecting. Unlike normal programming where I can code away to solve my problem, I need to dig IBM Info Center to find out how to solve my problem. And I'm ain't very fond of their Info Center style of documentation.
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