They say that we are actually looking at this world from a tiny keyhole... Having said that, I always pondered is these such thing as "the truth" or are they something that differs to people to people?
Got into a really "heated" argument with MFR on my political stance. I don't believe in any political gimmick, which also applies to democracy. I didn't vote during the previous election even though I was registered. I won't deny I have doubts if my actions is correct or not but I'm quite certain, I will repeat the same action if I was to go back in time in a time machine to the election day again.
If I had to justified my action, I probably can't. I can only say that is the way I feel. No math equation, no hard facts, just my gut feeling telling me to do so. Some may think it's silly to trust our whole life on gut feeling, but for me... If you can't trust ur gut feeling, what else can you trust? The best I can probably think of to describe why I'm a rather nihilist in political stuff is to ask you to read Animal Farm... you would probably see a close resemblance of me to "Benjamin the donkey" in the story.
I feel helpless for my lack of knowledge, for not being able to define what is right nor wrong. The definition in my mind now is "right and wrong" are merely something that exists inside of our mind. Everyone has their own right and wrong. Even those suicide bombers... To us, they nothing are crazy nutcases that is killing innocent lifes... but to them, they are fighting for "God". And can we really blame them? Based on their knowledge level and upbringing, dare one say they won't do the same if they were in their shoes? What I mean here is, if you were view them from their eye in terms of what they know, what they been brainwash to believe is right and wrong, and exclude what you think is right and wrong... What is more controversial perhaps is a dangerous thought that hit my mind, if what they doing is really wrong then why god didn't stop them? We all have our rationale for our action, yet the same thing could be said for these suicide bombers. I feel it's rather arrogant for us to think our action is more "correct" than these people action without even considering that angle of thought... I however have the same shortcoming...
So I b*tched about "right and wrong", what about "Justice", "Human Right", "Law", blablabla... Once my senior was driving his car in the parking lot and went against the one way street there. My junior "tegur" him say it's the "Law" of the road to not go against the one way road. I still remembered what his reply was... "Law can change one, coz it's defined by man". These big words... "God", "Justice", etc... doesn't the same apply to them? Are not these words, abstract ideas that meaning differ from people to people? Yet again isn't everything words the same to being with?
Life is contradicting... I'm bitter perhaps at my own lacking, perhaps too at the lacking of mankind... Which is why I'm so apathetic in life. Apathy is dead, they say... Perhaps I'm already dead... I don't want to think about it, and but I still do... And that depresses me...
Forget it....
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