Can't sleep

Dear bloggie,

It been quite a long time since I can't sleep at night. A bit depressed because of need go back to work in 3-4 hours time..

Really depressed because I have to play this rat maze game for the rest of my life. Work sometimes I feel is like a form of slavery. I know comparing slavery with work is a bit extreme since slavery conditions is really far worst, but what I'm referring to is the bondage of the human spirit. It's like we're hookers, selling a part of our self for moolah. Selling our dreams, our freedom, our free will...

Is it worth it? I dunno... Not anymore...

In a world where money dictates most thing, we humans have indirectly becomes slaves to our own desire, or more exact, greed. Money makes the world go round they say. I used to believe that money isn't everything. Now, I dunno anymore... Maybe it doesn't but it very close to doing so...

My arguments were:

Can money buy u life? No, but it can buy u the best medical attention.
Can money buy u love? No, but is love enough in most relationships?
Can money buy u dreams or happiness? No, but it can give one a disillusion of obtaining em.

I used to think in the younger days, I'll be happy settling for a average pay job that as long makes me happy is enough. I realize how naive I was back then. Logic apply, why do job gives one a salary? Simple, cause if they don't give u one, no one would be willing to do it. Applying this logic, I think most job falls inside this category.

We work and work, yearning and thinking one day, maybe we would earn enough dough that I can retire from this shit we have to subject our self to. But reality is harsh, we are after all slaves to our own desire/greed. We work our arse to the max, we get a nice fat cheque at the end of the month, a portion goes to pay our loans, our living cost, etc...

The balance, we use to spoil our self getting "that thing" we always wanted. We get it with the thinking, I deserve it coz I worked my f*ckin arse for it. I know the feeling of spending this hard earned money, it feels great. But I sometimes ponder, why do I need to spend money to be happy? And it's such times, I feel something is seriously f*cked up... I get myself unhappy working my arse for some $, then get myself happy again by spending this $? I'm already confused...

Yet, coming back to the topic of being slave to the system. I ponder what if this rat maze system one day collapsed. Would we be better off without it or worst?