Why does it always rain on me?

Dear bloggie,

Yea, the weather was nice. The heavy rain has stopped awhile ago. The air was cooling, the sun was 1/2 down into the golden sky horizon. A nice evening for a jog, I thought.

I "henshin" into my running gear and *poof*... Into the wild. Upon reaching my usually joggin track, I discover 1/2 of the track was flooded. Fag! I tried improvising and running on the smaller area that wasn't flooded, no syok... Potong stim, coz too short and can't run with autopilot mode... Decided to run into housing area instead. Haven't done tat before, so ran into the housing area behind my house. On the way running to the area, it started to rain slightly. At that moment I felt someone asking me "Why does it always rain on me?" So drenched in sweat and slight rain drops, I fasten my pace and ran my way back to my home.

I ponder why sometimes things like tis happens? Jatuh ditimpa tangga... Less happy things happening continually. Coincidence? Big G being humor? Or just results of my own choices? My morale is pretty low at the moment. Totally unprepared for another bruising week. Work dateline, Probation final review, Demo, etc... I feel like I need another year, maybe more than that just to recover from the latest strings of event...

Even going for gym classes makes me depressed to a certain degree, the mind/body studio is a constant reminder to myself of how I let my fears of failure prevented me from taking a chance and enrolling in the instructors training course. Watching young hopeful trainee in class for the next few week, will most likely further depress me...

Anyway, my parents are on vacation to Hat Yai, Thailand for a few days. Home alone again, the depressing mood when I was also home alone last Xmas resurfaces. The thought of spending another depressing Xmas like last year sends a shiver down my spine. I guess when one's at my age, we somehow able to gaze upon our mortality better...

On the end of the tunnel, hopefully... Skytrex Big Thrill awaits me this Sunday... However what kinda of mindset will I be in on tat day? I will definitely be celebrating something... Either the confirmation of my job, or regained freedom due to lost of job. But will I walk with the burden of yet another string of failures upon my back?