~Time to depress myself

~I'm on the top of the world lookin down on creation...

Dun ya just love the feeling when everything come together after alot of hardwork and toils? *Ring*, *Ring* Ring any bells?

Anyway got tat feeling awhile ago, however from experience (plus from being my pessimistic self) I learned from my life experience usually tis kinda thing is followed by the "comes crashing down to the earth from the sky" event. So I'm trying to depress myself so the oncoming train won't hurt me so much. I mean, how can you be miserable if u are already miserable?

My personal favorite way to get depress, walk alone around a shopping mall fulled with peoples (3rd best is meeting an old successful "fren").

I come to realized the best way to gain personal peace is to seek the total opposite. How do you know joy if dun know wat is sadness to begin with?

What could be more chaotic then a bunch of peoples walking in a shopping mall? Totally different race, face, background... I never seem to be able to cease myself from looking at rapt amazement when I look down from the mall's top floor at the hundred of peoples moving around down below. Sorta feels like the same serene feeling when I was a kid and tried counting the falling raindrops from the window side.

Hundred of peoples who are lofting around the mall, hundred of peoples who have someone special to live their life with, hundred of people chasing and achieving their dreams, hundred of peoples living their life.

I think I'm depressed whenever I walk in Mall alone cause I think realized I am forever doomed as a rock in the middle of a flowing river... No special 1 page newspaper article on how rocking I am, No chicks clad in bikini surrounding me while I drive my Ferrari, No Ferrari to get laid in with the bikini clad chicks, No realizing of my maximum potential, No one to share my life with, No wealth, No dreams, No ambitions, No understanding of myself, No understanding of the world, No faith, No God... Maybe a single urn at the end...

Yea, I think I managed to depress myself already... Just gotta love this bloggin thing... (Btw bloggin depressing things is my 2nd way of getting depress)