Dunno why, but i just get the feeling I'm lost in life... No goal, drifting aimlessly, living for the sake of just living... At times like this I often ask myself, "Why am I so different from others?". I sometimes envy those that live life to the fullest, but for me I just find that so impossible to do... Why? Maybe it's cause of I'm what people call "essentric".
Often I find myself unable to enjoy what other people would enjoy doing. I never could find a goal in life as I dunno wtf I even want in life to begin with? Money? Knowledge? Wisdom? A pretty babe? Though I'm not a Buddhist, I believe in alot of their teachings especially their teaching on "Suffering". We suffer because we crave for something. I often find myself lost and confused because I know craving leads to suffering but yet despite knowing it I still crave for things. It's like I know that if I take another step forward I would fall off the cliff, but my inner self still yearns to take another step despite knowing I would then fall to my doom.
I often have the desire to live my life like a wanderer. Wandering from one place to another, leaving new friends and memories that I just had at a place I just visited with the odds I would never see them again. I always felt that I was always a wanderer by nature, valueing the journey itself rather than the final destination. Am I essentric? Yes I believe I am but as I long ago learned, once a word is spoken, it losses it's meaning (That is y I dun enjoy to talk anymore than I need to).
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