Suke the Sinner

I been alive for 10,220 days... I'm Baka U...

(Play this music while reading)


I'm the observer, keeper, guardian & recorder of the historical documents of the Monklanders, a group of useless, no good, sorry excuses for a human being, slackers with no apparent goal in their f*ckin life besides monking every f*ckin single day of their miserable life away.

The following are my notes on the recently banished disciple monk, Suke the Sucker. Suke the Sucker had been banished from Monklanders by the SDHMWALAAT (Supreme Dictator Holy Monk With A Long Annoying Alias Title) for his crime for violating one of the 10 Commandments of Monklanders... Failing to control his lust for the opposite sex. Suke which committed this crime shows no remorse for breaking the code of Monklanders and has already even set a trip with his "lui" to a remote and isolated "unknown" area with evil, lustful & malicious intentions. In an interrogation, Suke jokingly claims he plans to just go on this sinful trip to play chess with his "lui". He added he intends to use "horsey" post plays in his game against his "lui"...

Unrepentant, Suke even tried to poison the mind of the SDHMWALAAT by giving his a box that Suke claims is the legendary "Pandora Box". SDHMWALAAT upon opening the box (Yea, he's a sucker of Pandora Boxes claims), found a book inside it that goes with the title "Suke's Infinite Monk Guide to Kau Lui". Upon a day of reading this accursed book, SDHMWALAAT has fallen deeply ill and now is said near his deathbed. Having devoted my mind, body and soul to the Monklanders, I volunteered to read the book. Upon reading this book, it is clear that the contents of this vile book could shatter the 10+ years foundation of the Monklanders...

Here are some extracts from his demonic book:

1. get her msn 1st
2. then slowly ask for her phone num
3. then sms her
4. then ask her out

Unable to fully comprehend the contents of some part of this book, I held an short conversation with Suke from his prison via msn.

Bakau : hey, u left out the fb
Suke : fb doesnt matter la. get her msn and phone num first
Bakau : how to ask for msn? start from start
Suke : tell her u found something funny on the internet and want to send her. then ask her do u got any email address?
Bakau : how to approach
Suke : u gotta start talking to her. casual chat
Bakau : chat bout wat wor? nice weather?
Suke : chat anything lar. ask question.
Suke : if she cool with it, she will start asking u back question and let the casual chat begins
Bakau : any alternatives?
Suke : then juz think of any question. anything that can initiate a talk v her
Suke : rule of thumb. dun ask her stupid question that will annoy her
Bakau : give example
Suke : well, common sense. u gotta think b4 u talk. such as sensitive stuff like her age, her body figure,
Bakau : age also can't meh?
Suke : better dun. a good way to start is to praise her. like after class, tell her she did well in 'this' and 'that' exercise.
Suke : u can expect her to say tq. from there , start another question related to gym. and slowly, proceed smartly
Suke : if she's cool. invite her for lunch after gym
Bakau : anymore kau lui tips?
Suke : taught u the basic ledi lor. follow the 1st step first.
Suke : next step on how to proceed depends on her character type liao.

I was wet from sweating due to Suke's revelation of his "Infinite Monk Guide to Kau Lui". The demonic twisted mindset of Suke seems beyond redemption... Suke ended is chat with me by saying

"Doing what you love is not a recipe for an easier life, but a recipe for an interesting life... When you love what you are doing, you will do your best, because that's the way you like it... You will willingly to take more responsibilities and challenges! :-)"

which made me cover and shiver in fear... The untold damages that Suke was capable of doing the Monklanders is unmeasurable. I can only pray that may we all Monklanders be spared from the evil corruption from Suke.

On side note, today's weather is clear and cloudy.

Bakau,
Month of the Fools, Year of the Tiger (8 April 2010)