Another day gone

Dear bloggie,

I'm sitting here alone in my room alone staring at this f*ckin laptop when it strike me how alone I been recently been. With MFR busy smoking pot and doing the nasty thing with hookers in Amsterdam, and with my latest "retrenchment", my contact list has shrunk to only the Klang Monks Gang. And even lately with Suke busy chasing girls skirt trying to denounce the way of the monk, Spellie busy with his new work and Acapan busy with... erh... booze, boobs & dota?, I been living like a total hermit.

My recent job applications for a job outside IT has yielded no response from the other side and the current crap with my freelance project, I'm at a all time low for 2009. I tried to change but I guess in a world where specialization is the keyword, it's hard to jump career. Most jobs need at least a specified degree or working experience or else you probably down in the list.

Can't take heavy dosage of depression pills too as my 2 ankle ache like crap. Doing some light running on the treadmill and some resistance training. Since Suke been busy chasing girls skirt lately, been doing it lone ranger at the gym. Can get abit boring and intimidating with all those people with biceps like the Hulk walking around while a skinny runt like me struggle to do a 15kg cable bicep curl. Yea, the workout burn abit of calories and depression but my body is starting to feel like it's been torn apart and I'm just doing light weights onli... :-(

And to top it all up, one of my college mates phone me to drop a red bomb. 6 June 2009 at Nilai. The dreaded feel of "aging" is again looming. Will have to see old college mates at the wedding, *Sigh* the dreaded question "Wah long time no see, how are you? I'm a f*cking millionaire married to a model. What are you working as now?" I can onli imagine their looks when I say I'm retrenched. Hmmm... I must prepare myself mentally to savor that moment... Already almost 4 years since college, I'm quite sure alot of my college mates will come blazing in with the so called "achievements" wrap around their shoulder and waist. Lucky I didn't went through my plan to try botak hairstyle also, else walau eh...

Also started dotaing with Acapan and spellie in pub game. Pawn Acapan in one match and as expected, he pawned me back kau kau in another match. I don't wanna go down this spiral again, gave it up and don't really intend to waste my time/life in it anymore but with so little to do, will my willpower be enuff?

MFR will be coming back soon but I wonder will this loneliness begone even when I have another f*cked up human being to trade depressing experiences with? And there's always the possibility he found enlightenment during his soul searching trip in Europe... I mean common, drugs and hookers, u won't find better enlightenment sources that those.